He's Always Been Faithful to Me

I’m sitting here on my living room floor trying to get a few things sorted out for school when I had the urge to write.

(That’s right. School. We’ll get there.)

Actually, to be real honest, I’ve had the urge to write for a few weeks but have ignored it because since I’ve been out of the habit of writing for so many months, I simply get lost in the process.

I’ve learned that disciplines are called disciplines for a reason. They don’t just magically get easier and they’re not always fun, and then there’s those disciplines you simply get out of the habit of practicing, and it’s like yanking out teeth to pull yourself back together.

Running is one of these disciplines.

And also writing.

And that’s kind of how I feel about writing right now. I feel a little bit like I’m pulling my own teeth out. Not because I don’t enjoy it (because I absolutely do), but because I was so disciplined for so long and then lost all my desire so I just stopped. Because I’m human.

I’ve also learned that while desire often leads to discipline, it can also sometimes be a really lame motivation for discipline. Desire comes and goes. But being disciplined is a choice. And I’ve found on rare occasions that if I stay disciplined despite my lack of desire, that discipline often becomes desire. For instance, I don’t always leap for joy at the chance to run, but when I am disciplined to run consistently, I want to run more. I don’t always feel like reading the Word of God, but then I find that the more I do it, the more I want to read the Word of God. Writing doesn’t always come naturally and sometimes feels like a chore, but the more I write, the more I want to write. And who knows, maybe I’m the only one that oscillates between doing things out of desire vs. discipline.

But enough about desire and discipline, that’s a rabbit trail if I’ve ever chased one. And the trail is there to stay.

I really just wanted to jump on here and testify to God’s faithfulness.

If I’m just being real here (and do you really want anything else?), I’d tell you that it’s been a tough year.

I’d tell you that, thus far in my own personal walk with the Lord, it’s been the most trying season.

I’d tell you that financially, spiritually, and emotionally I wondered if I’d ever hear the Lord say “yes” again.

I’d tell you that there were days I lived with a ton of anxiety and held it together really well. (Read: I pretended to hold it together really well.)

I’d tell you that the Lord was very, very quiet. So quiet I had doubted that I even knew Him.

I’d tell you that I’d look around and compare my circumstances to others and send myself into a pit of self-pity.

I’d tell you that it was a fight to keep my joy. And that some days (a lot of days) it just wasn’t there.

I’d tell you that I wasn’t always positive the Lord would come through, or how He would come through, or that He would even remember to come through for little me.

I’d tell you that I understand now what it means when Matt Chandler says, “Where the ideal is lacking, grace abounds.” Because grace DOES abound. 

I’d tell you that I was straight up full of fear on what His next assignment for me would be.

I’d tell you that I was not just full of fear of His assignment, but full of fear of human opinion.

I’d tell you that the usual comforts I ran to when I didn’t like the way things were going were not even an option. (Read: Shopping.)

I’d tell you that God has looked me in the eyes and been nothing but kind to me when I have thrown the worlds biggest fit.

I’d tell you that stepping out of the boat is really scary. And once you’re out on the water, the only person that can help you out is Jesus. Because boats only stay anchored for so long, and then they sail away. But Jesus is all about rescue.

I’d tell you that our unbelief does not nullify the faithfulness of God. Our unbelief doesn’t make Him ineffective.  (Romans 3:3)

I’d tell you that I don’t think this season changed me, or at least I’m afraid it didn’t, but that I can look back and see little evidences that He did a work on my heart, and continues to, every single day.

BUT…

And I mean every word of this…

I want to tell you that in the midst of a really hard season Jesus never left me to fend for myself. No, I didn’t always “feel” His presence, but I knew His presence like never before, because a lot of days it was the only thing I knew.

I want to tell you that He alone sustained me.

I want to tell you that I was able to see streams in a desert season.

I want to tell you that some of those streams were new friends, old friends, kind words, odd jobs, international trips that were a sheer gift, vacations with family and many other blessings I didn’t even know to ask for.

I want to tell you that I never want to keep secret what He is up to.

I want to tell you that He does come through. Always. Does it look how we imagine? Rarely. Is it within our time frame? Never. But He does not fail us.

I want to tell you that sometimes He offers the gift of rest when you didn’t know you needed it. And after fighting it for many months, it’s okay to lean into it.

I want to tell you that in uncertain seasons, “no” is a perfectly acceptable answer, even when it makes no sense.

I want to tell you that you have the choice to either respond or react to situations you’re handed, and responding with grace is much better than reacting out of hurt or anger.

I want to tell you that it’s better to be 100% honest with the Lord about the condition of your heart than to put on a mask, because He already knows our hearts and He can handle it.

I want to tell you that our God is a faithful God. And that it’s okay if the only thing you know to pray is, “faithful you have been, and faithful you will be.”

I want to tell you that we have a good, good Father who loves us so, so much it’s impossible to comprehend.

I want to tell you all of this because sometimes we need to testify to God’s faithfulness in both the hard seasons and the good seasons.

Tomorrow I will step foot in a brand new season. At a brand new (to-me) school. With a brand new teaching position (5th - 8th grade Bible, to be exact). And brand new co-workers. And brand new students. And a brand new opportunity to trust God for the unimaginable and watch His faithfulness unfold in ways I don’t even know how to pray.

And I’m hyper aware that God alone moved Heaven and Earth to merge two things together that are both dear to me: ministry and teaching.

And I’m so, so grateful.

"But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and merciful God. You are patient and demonstrate great loyal love and faithfulness." Psalm 86:15

"O Lord God of hosts, who is a mighty one like unto You, O Lord? And your faithfulness is round about You [an essential part of You at all times]." Psalm 89:8

"Know, recognize, and understand therefore that the Lord you God, He is God, the faithful God, Who keeps covenant and steadfast love and mercy with those who love Him and keep His commandments, to a thousand generations." Deuteronomy 7:9

 

Yesterday, Today and Forever

About 30 minutes ago our team sat down for our last supper here in Kenya. During that time, Isaac asked us if we were ready to fly home tomorrow. My response? It’s always bittersweet. Of course, we are all ready to see our friends and family, but entrance back into the normal routine, no matter how short or long, always proves to be difficult. Sitting in a cubicle doesn’t "feel as effective” as walking the streets of Kenya, meeting young girls and their mother’s, and preparing a new home for them, you know?

But, I also know the enemy is crafty and loves to whisper pretty little lies in our ears about our effectiveness while here on earth which, unfortunately, keeps most of us from walking in our God-given identity and calling. And the truth is, where He has you or me in this season is right where He wants you. If He hasn’t moved you, then He has people for you and for me to see where we are. Oftentimes, however, our stubbornness, comfort, discontentment and pride keep us from seeing them. Or moving. Lord, help us!

All of that to say, yes, we are ready to come home! We are ready to carry the girls on our hearts everywhere we go and spread what the Lord has done to everyone back home. This trip has gifted each of us all the feels, if you know what I mean. It’s been eye opening, and simultaneously full of joy.

Monday after our big celebration we were all fairly quiet. Do you know that feeling the day after a really good friend or family members’ wedding? On one hand you’re so happy to have witnessed the blessed event, and maybe even relieved that it's come and gone, but there’s a little bit of a letdown that accompanies it as well. You kind of want to do it all over again, but you also know that it wouldn’t bring you the same joy because that day was set apart. Holy to the Lord. And that’s how Monday felt. Instead of celebrating, per say, with the girls, we each were given a job at the house to accomplish. There are so many little things to finish before the girls move in, and the more hands the better, so we went at it. Although we may have all left a little intoxicated on paint fumes, we wouldn’t have had it any other way. After all, the only reason we came here was to serve those girls. Because they’re worth it.

Looking back, I think it was easy to set our eyes on the celebration and set aside the situations these girls are really dealing with, but the Lord gave us a peek into the lives of these girls, yet again, last night. It was not planned, but I am positive He wanted to remind us that this is not all fun and games and ribbons and pearls. This is very real. This is very dark. And the hardest has yet to come.

It prompted a conversation with one of the staff members of Rift Valley Fellowship about their entrance into Lulu Place. These girls have seen, heard and experienced way too much to not face some serious detoxes; and at 9 years old, nonetheless. They are excited and ready to move in, but I imagine the staff and counselors set in place to be their housemothers are about be working around the clock. We met each of them and I am so grateful for their willingness to take on such a huge task. The Lord obviously wanted to keep before us the reality, if only to remind us that there are thousands of girls with the exact same circumstances. To keep us praying. And aware. He is so faithful. 

Today we were taken on a safari. Need I say more? We saw lions and baboons and zebras and giraffes and hippos and water buffalos and so much more. It was amazing and fun and full of laughter. A very light day after a few days of heaviness. Not one of us will forget this huge blessing! (Because it's fun, here are a few pictures.)

Our group before heading out!

It was a good day to ride with the roof open.

This is what I like to call a Giraffe Glamour Shot. She felt very pretty today. And looked so as well.

Zebras fascinate me. God's creativity stood out to me today. You can't deny it!

We had a bit of rush hour traffic with the Baboons.

Happy ladies smiling on the safari!

Tomorrow before driving to the airport we will go to Lulu Place and meet with the girls one more time, then we will join Esther at Women of Courage Bible study. I have so many words about Esther that are hopefully in a post to come.

Will you pray for our time with them? The more time we spend with them, the more their hearts our etched on ours. It’s hard to deny hugs from girls who run to your van to hug you before you even step out. We are hoping to do some crafts with them and pray with them. But we’re open to what the Holy Spirit wants us to do. We just want to love them well.

And while you’re praying, may I add a few requests?

Will you pray for Lulu Place to come together very quickly? They were originally supposed to move in, but as I said there are a few more things to be done and all of that is being taken care of 24/7, but everyone is ready and waiting! Will you pray that as these girls wait the Lord would put a hedge of protection around them? That He would physically put protectors in their path to lead them away from harm. They are so vulnerable right now. Jesus, be near.

Will you also pray for Esther and Isaac and each of the workers at Lulu Place? And for their church, Rift Valley Fellowship? For their rest and health? I don’t even know how to tell you how hard they work. And with excellence and joy. Dreams don’t come true by sitting on the sidelines, they happen as you’re running your race, and staying in the race isn’t always easy. I am so impressed by their servant hearts. By their love for people. And their sheer selflessness.

Lastly, and most selfishly, will you pray for the eight of us as we head home? For safety and an easy entrance back into the states? For good attitudes and rest as we travel home to our people? For our hearts as we return and seek the Lord on how He wants each of us individually to be involved at Lulu Place?

I know I say it all the time, but we are so grateful and humbled by your prayers. You have carried us on your shoulders and we have felt it. The fight doesn’t end when we get home, it’s only just begun. I'm personally thankful for you, your words, and a God that, according to Hebrews 13:8, "...is the same yesterday, today and forever."

Beautiful Girls Like These

The first line of a blog post is always the hardest to write. There’s a lot of writing and deleting and writing and deleting and writing and deleting. Which is exactly what I’ve done this evening. The past two days have been so full of contrast that I don’t know where to start. So I’m going to start at the beginning and warn you in advance that this is the unabridged version. In other words, it’s long.

When I was packing for this trip I thought to myself, “Wow, there’s nothing like packing for a trip to Africa to reveal my idol of materialism.” Because it’s true. And also makes me want to gag a little. I mean let’s be honest, as I was coordinating my “outfits” I went to my drawer to pull out some tops when I came across three white V-neck tops and two gray tops. And I have a feeling that if I would have kept digging I could have found more. How many do I really need?

Yesterday that hit me fresh all over again.

We walked the dirt roads of Maai Mahiu and visited the homes of each of the six girls moving into Lulu Place next week. It was humbling, to say the least. They live, for lack of a better word, the most simple, humble life, and are full of joy. While we live the most complicated, full of options kind of life and want more. I don’t want to speak for everyone, but this is my simple observation. Maybe I should just speak for myself. Either way, it always leaves my speechless.

 

Before I left for Kenya, I was with my discipleship group and I explained to them that I had to get out of the mindset that this was just an eight day trip and I’d be back home to my comfortable life after that. Because the truth is, it’s really easy to be sent out on a short-term trip when you know you only have to endure being uncomfortable for a short amount of time. And I know myself really well and I have this fear of coming back unchanged. But after the past two days especially, this I know, the Lord is faithful. Unless your heart is made of stone, it is impossible to come back without an imprint, and even joy, in your heart.

Because it’s hard to put into words the homes we were invited into yesterday, I want to invite you into their homes.

Three sisters. The older two are going to Lulu Place. The little one, Mercy, is staying with her mama. She needs healing on the complete left side of her body. Would you join us in prayer for her?

 What you see is all there is.

Showing us her bed. 

It’s gut-wrenching. And unfair. And hard to understand. I think of the scripture in Acts 17:26 when the Lord says, "From one man he made every nation of the human race to inhabit the entire earth, determining their set times and fixed the limits of the places where they would live." That gives me hope because that means He knows every detail, because He placed us there. And He sees. Because He placed us there. He sees these girls. He sees their moms. He sees their eight brothers and sisters that all sleep on three beds in a little 12x12 square room lined with blankets to create bedrooms, and planks of wood for a roof. Does it make sense to me? I don’t think it ever will. But it gives me hope. 

Last night as we debriefed around the table, Angela brought up the fact that this trip is different than most because although yes, we have seen where the situations these girls are living in, we know there is relief. Talk about hope! We don’t have to walk away, fly back to the states, and pray about what to do. This time we get to come alongside a faithful couple from Kenya who is doing the very hard work. They have dreamed, they have prayed, they have planned, they have developed relationships, and now they will run a home for young girls alongside a church they already shepherd.

A church we got to visit today and celebrate the opening of Lulu Place! What joy! I love watching the Lord do His thing as people pursue their dreams. That will never get old to me.

Lulu Place. It's beautiful, isn't it?

Is this when I admit that we have a lot to learn in America? We think we know how to throw a party, but I submit that we have yet to scratch the surface of celebrating others. Don’t get me wrong, I love our traditions, but Rift Valley Fellowship take seriously “rejoice with those who rejoice”.

After getting out of the van, they carried each girl on their shoulders. Priceless.

 Each girl and her mother being introduced at church.

 Rose and Laura praying over the girls, dedicating both them and Lulu Place to the Lord.

The girls seeing their new home for the first time. 

Feeding the 500 after church.

Today the six Lulu girls were given dignity. And love. And security. And a celebration fit for queen, as Debra so eloquently put it. We all met on the lot of Lulu Place (imagine just a small group of 500), set up tents, prayed, sang songs, and then as the girls pulled into the driveway, each of the women of the church ran to greet them singing a beautiful song in Kikuyu, a tribal language. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever witnessed in my entire life. Because our reason for coming was to dedicate and commission Lulu Place, it is safe to say the eight of us, while videoing and photographing, we’re crying big tears of joy. We later joked that it was the only reason for our sunglasses, to keep from looking like absolute fools. The extreme of seeing their situations yesterday, and their future today was simply overwhelming. It was fitting that the celebration lasted five hours.

We weren’t just celebrating the girls, we were ultimately celebrating the Lord, His faithfulness and provision. And His glory.

Praying over the home before the girls came.

Today I asked Esther what words the women were singing in their song, it went like this, “Beautiful girls like these, where have you ever seen them? God is good; He has allowed us to see them.” Heaven help us, I could cry just typing out those words again. After she told me the words in English, she then proceeded to tell me that this is the song they sing as brides are coming to meet their groom. Sobs. I don’t know a more appropriate song to welcome these girls to their new home.

This is Esther. We love her.

“Beautiful girls like these, where have you ever seen them? God is good; He has allowed us to see them.”

Beautiful girls they are. God is so good. He has never let them out of His sight, and He gave Esther the privilege of seeing them, too. A stunning love story. My prayer for all of us is that the Lord would give each of us the privilege of seeing someone as well.

Give us eyes to see and a heart to love your people, Jesus.

P.S. Here is a video we made for Bayou City Fellowship yesterday. It's a 38 second clip of Lulu Place. No pressure to watch, just thought we'd share!


My Movie from Debra Parker on Vimeo.

Also, if you're interested in even more photos, you can follow #KenyaDigIt on Instagram.

 

Meet Rose

Hello from Kenya! We landed safe and sound about 24 hours ago, but feel like we've been here for seven days already. Here's our team before boarding in Houston!

And here we are after just landing in Nairobi.

It’s currently 10:00 PM in Maai Mahiu and we just finished our first full day here. Our eyes may be a little (a lot) tired, but our hearts are full and ready to work.

We spent the majority of the day sitting around the table getting to know one another, learning more about Lulu Place from Isaac and Esther Karanja, and meeting the rest of the staff of Rift Valley Fellowship. (A few of us had the honor or meeting Pastor Isaac and Esther a few months ago while they were visiting Houston.) That honestly sounds like a really light day, and while it was, we were also briefed on the history of the girls who are moving into Lulu Place this weekend and that was far from light. Esther, Isaac’s wife and also the one who dreamed up Lulu Place, is an angel. I think if you asked any of us after listening to her tell her story, they would agree. What I love about Esther is how she trusts the Lord. Every other word out of her mouth is about her belief in a GOOD Father who provides endlessly and takes care of them. We ended that time by praying for Esther and Carline. It was sweet and I think both parties know that they can only do what they do by the power of the Holy Spirit.

My favorite part of the day was after our conversation; Esther took us to meet Rose. Rose lives here and is a housemother to seven street boys, works hard and loves Jesus. Before we met Rose we were told she could pray the house down. Unfortunately, we have yet to experience that but are looking forward to it, no doubt. Rose radiated joy.





















Later this evening after dinner, we went back to see Rose and meet the young boys she mother’s. We were surprised to meet not only seven boys, but 30 of them. THIRTY. To our delight and surprise, the Lulu Place girls were also there, which means between the 36 kids, there were plenty of hugs to go around. We discussed later on that after our day of learning their history, and then seeing their faces, we each could have wept. It’s an indescribable feeling when you see that hope and brokenness can co-exist. Dare I say it exists in all of us? These girls come from so much hurt, so much brokenness, so much damage, and yet they have a future with so much hope. Not to be cheesy and quote Jeremiah 29:11, but the Lord, through Esther and Isaac, is giving these girls a future filled with hope, with, God-willing, redemption, not to harm them, but to give them Himself. And that is the best news of all.

I feel like we’re just now in the shallow end of what the Lord desires to accomplish this week while we’re here. But I know it’s going to be good. And hard. And hope-filled. Just the small glimpses we’ve had have left us in awe of all the Lord has already accomplished, the tapestry He’s already woven and the details He has taken care of. And it’s just the beginning.

Tomorrow we are going to visit the girls’ homes. Not Lulu Place, but where they are currently living. We’ve been prepped for what we’re going to see, but I have a small inkling words don’t do it justice. Will you pray for us? For these girls? For their mothers who are bound to a lifestyle they assume they’re never going to leave? Or even have the opportunity to leave? We know that Jesus is bigger. That He alone breaks chains and sets people free. And not just that He can do that, but that He WANTS to. Because He loves them so much.

Signing off for now. It’s time to shower and head to bed, and we’re all ready. We still can't believe we're actually here and get to be a part of what the Lord is building here. You guys are the best. Thank you so much for your support and prayers.

 

Kenya Bound

In two days I will board a plane, along with eight other women from Bayou City Fellowship, headed to land, God-willing, in Nairobi, Africa. We will then take a van bound for Maai Mahiu, Kenya.

This is not the most important into, but because I like visuals, here are the eight of us going. Just call us the Brady Bunch. Grin. (From top left to bottom right: Amber Burger, Debra Parker, Micah Allen, Lindsee Eddy (me), Corey Wetherell, Laura Fedorko, Angela Stamps and Danielle Gunnels.) That is for the two of you who enjoy detailed information as much as I do!

Our mission? To commission, open and celebrate a home called Lulu Place for young girls, a teenage girls safe house, all of who come from a history or are at risk of being trafficked or prostituted. Lulu Place was recently built to provide a safe haven for these girls. A place they will call home that will not only offer a place to live, but provide schooling and care as well. I've added the link above, but in case you missed it, you can click this link to read more about Lulu Place for yourself.


And if for some reason the link isn't working, here is a short two minute video explaining Lulu Place.

 
His Voice Global - Lulu Place from Paul Go Images on Vimeo.

A little background information that might help you understand how we came to know of Lulu Place is that, for the past three years Bayou City Fellowship has partnered with His Voice Global, founded by Vernon and Amber Burger. Vernon is one of our pastor’s at Bayou City Fellowship. About a year ago, His Voice met a pastor from Kenya who shepherds a church, Rift Valley Fellowship in Kenya. Rift Valley is located in Maai Mahiu and, “The town of Maai Mahiu in Kenya consists of 5000 people and 600 prostitutes. That’s about 1 prostitute for every 8 people. Maai Mahiu is located on the “HIV Highway” also known as “The AIDS Belt” in Africa. The prostitutes, or CSWs (Commercial Sex Workers), are mostly made up of teens and young women.” (Taken from the His Voice Global website.) 

Needless to say, Isaac and Esther Munji, the pastors of Rift Valley Fellowship (I promise after this post things will be far less confusing) had a heart to reach out to these women and their girls and dreamed of building a home for the young girls, in hopes that it would prevent them from being the next victims of prostitution. After this dream was shared, it was presented to Bayou City Fellowship and they felt led to sponsor this task and a year later, a home has been built. Praise God! 

And THAT is how this trip came to be! God is a God of provision and to be a part of the story is a sweet gift. We are not just going to take pictures of the home, though there will be plenty of pictures to share, and we’re not just going to decorate these girls rooms with really cute, homemade, pinterest worthy décor, though there will be a lot of that as well; we’re going to get to know these girls, to hug them, to laugh with them, to pray with them, to share the love of Jesus with them. This town has a reputation of being “dirty” and “bad” and “sinful”. Our prayer is that those words would be exchanged for “worthy” and “good” and “beautiful”, not because of who we are, but because of who Christ is. He loves these people more than we could ever dream of loving them.

Lulu is Swahili for precious, protected, and containing great value or worth. Yes, Lord! May these girls live under the conviction that they are precious, protected and contain GREAT value and worth in the eyes of Jesus. They have dignity. And hope. And a future that is good.

It is the desire of Isaac and Esther that God redeems and delivers people in this town. What better way to answer that prayer than by using young women?

So, why am I telling you all this? For one, to pray. I have so many thoughts about this trip in my head and I am going to try my hardest and post some prayer requests before we leave on Wednesday, but also, for support. The Lord has provided above and beyond for the eight of us to go on this trip, but now we’d love to see how God provides financially for these girls as they move into this new season of life. It would be naïve of us to think that just because the home has been built, that there are no more needs. Each of us has a responsibility in the Great Commission to either go, give or pray; so my desire is that each of us consider what is the Lord wants us to do, of course, not out of obligation but out of a generous heart.

To give initially, you can click here.

Over the next week I will be blogging, hopefully daily, about our trip in hopes to represent both these precious girls and His Voice Global well. In those blogs I’ll share more needs and specific ways you can give. YOU, yes you, get to be a part of this story as well. And for that, we are so grateful.