The Art of Hugging

Last night I enjoyed an evening at Chili’s with a few of my high school girls. We had a blast, and without a doubt, laughed our heads off. I, honest to goodness, think we scared everyone sitting at tables near us away. Bless them, is all I kept thinking.

After literally closing the place down, because we’d been there for four hours, we walked outside to say our goodbyes and that is when we got the most tickled. I went in for a hug with one of them, and the inevitable awkward hug took place. I about threw myself to the ground I was laughing so hard, especially when, for the next 30 minutes, we proceeded to discuss the awkward hug. I know you’ve all experienced such a moment, so I think we should take some time to review the different types of hugging.

The Side Hug:
The side hug is one of those “safe” hugs. It’s the kind of hug, that if I were to hug a boy I worked with, this would be the one. It’s the appropriate hug. But, there’s nothing like one person going in for a frontal hug, and you going in for a side hug. It provides to be an all around awkward situation. Hands have the potential to be placed in inappropriate places, and at least one person ends up having a contorted body. It’s just not cute. If you see a person with just one arm raised, please note, they are going for the side hug, so I would advise you to do the same. And when in doubt, just go for the side hug. It’s still friendly.

The Cheek Hug:
This is when the frontal hug takes place, but instead of your necks fitting perfectly together, you both turn your heads the same way like your about to take a precious picture. Basically, your cheeks are hugging. This one is tricky, because if one of you tries to move your cheek without the other person being aware, an unexpected kiss may be involved. So, if stuck in a cheek hug, just pretend that all is well, smile and release. (Then please, I am begging you, laugh about it and discuss the awkwardness.)

The Neck Hug:
There is a certain way when hugging, that you can place your arms to perfectly fit into someone else. However, a lot of people go for the neck, or the waist for that matter. What happens here is if both of you go to hug the neck, you simply can’t, so one has to go for the waist. Who’s it going to be? Plus, I always feel that if you are to do a neck hug, the person who is not hugging the neck, but hugging the waist, should follow up by picking you up and swinging you around. It just seems appropriate. I would leave this hug for that extra cute couple, or the couple who just got engaged, for that matter.

The Stiff Hug:
There are certain people who just aren’t huggers. And I completely understand and respect that, however, I am not one of those people. In that case, the stiff hug happens often. This happens when you go in for a hug (frontal hug that is) and the person is taken by surprise so they stands there like a soldier. You get nothing in return and release your hug immediately because you feel awkward that you may be the only person showing affection. If you hug said person enough, they may relax a bit, and then in the end you’re doing them a favor by teaching them how to hug and that appropriate physical touch is indeed, okay. They’ll thank you for this later in their marriage.

The Crying Hug:
Need I even explain this one? We all know my weird obsession with guys hugging girls when they’re upset. This would be that situation. Or, it could be vice versa. However, in my life span I see more girls crying than I do guys. In this case, the girl can either feel free to hug back, or just stand there in a complete puddle of a mess. Just know guys, that girls enjoy a hug or pat on the shoulder/back when they’re crying. Whether or not they readily admit it, they do. We know it means you care and are being attentive to our needs. Plus, it’s just cute. For an example, take a look here.

The Perfect Hug:
There is such thing as a perfect hug. This is where is just “fits.” Both of you go for the “frontal” (could I think of a better word?) hug with one arm going above the shoulder and one arm going below the arm pit, all the while your heads fit right in that perfect spot on each other nook of a shoulder. No awkwardness here, just a simple “I love you!” type of hug. Hopefully, this is the kind of hug that each of you have experienced more often than not. It is indeed, the perfect hug.

Unfortunately, since I have been in these situations countless times, especially with the girls in ministry, I have now learned to either go for the side hug, or I simply ask my girls, is this gonna be a side hug or a frontal hug?

I promise you, open communication when hugging is key to less awkward moments. Just try it. That is unless you have the art of hugging down and it’s never awkward. If that’s the case, I aspire to be you.

Until then, keep perfecting the hug.

How To Be A Bad Blogger

Want to know how to be a bad blogger?

Just follow in my footsteps. Only blog once a week (if even) and never comment on anybodies blog posts.

The truth is, even though I have taken a few unannounced bloggy breaks, I have thoroughly enjoyed it. On Saturday, Jen and I met up and had dinner and saw 17 Again and while we were in the bathroom, I told her that I just haven't been into blogging lately.

She agreed.

It's not that there is a lack of content to blog about, there is absolutely plenty to blog about, but I just needed a brain break.

I also needed a break from the bloggy guilt I had been feeling. Honestly, I can get so caught up in it, and how many comments I get, or how many posts I am commenting on, or the content of the post, or how involved I am and yada, yada, yada and it just becomes exhausting and not enjoyable. Which is sad, because I thoroughly enjoy blogging. It's pretty much therapeutic for me.

Plus, I had a lot to do last week and I was determined to stay focused. And stay focused I did.

So, here I am, not promising much, but I'm here.

This summer may be kind of sparse for the mere fact that unlike teaching, ministry, especially student ministry, takes on a whole new level of commitment in the summer. Anything and everything goes on daily and it gets pretty crazy pretty fast. Hence why I am enjoying the calm before the storm right now.

Anyway, enough about my bloggy business that I know y'all don't care one iota about, but I just had to get it out there.

However, lest you be fooled that I've had nothing on my mind the past week, think again.

Let's pull out the handy dandy numeral system, yet again, to get a peek into my brain.

1) I can't not mention The Biggest Loser in this post. My life is forever committed to this show! And on top of that, I think I've recruited a few folks to this obsession with me. Helen ended up winning the whole competition. I was a bit disappointed because I was totally going for either Tara or Mike, but either way, Helen did work hard and I am still proud of her. For those of you that true fans of the show like me, I have a few tidbits for you that you may or may not enjoy:

First, I happen to listen to Jillian Michael's podcasts and out of her mouth, she said she thought Helen was too skinny. Thank You! I agree. Yes, she looks fabulous, and yes, Jillian is still more proud of her than anyone, but she thought she was a bit skinny. Not unhealthy, though. (If you want to listen to her once a week podcast, you can either listen online here or you can download them on iTunes by searching KFI Sundays in podcasts. She honestly has great health and fitness advice, and is hilarious. Plus, she talks about the show fairly often. I'm not advocating that I agree with everything she says, but it is interesting nonetheless.)

Second, they already started filming Season 8 of the show, and guess who's back? Daniel from the orange team. I am just thrilled for him. He was the 19 year old boy who weighed almost 500 lbs at the beginning of last season, has lost over a hundred pounds, but still has a long way to go. Needless to say, in Jillian's words, he is now the leader of the pack. I absolutely love that they did this because I always feel awful for the contestants that have to go home early on, and he was one of those that really needed to be there.

Thirdly, since they are already filming for next season, it means that it will start in August or September. Woo Hoo! I can't wait.

Fourthly, Season 8 is hosting the biggest girl they've ever had on the Biggest Loser campus. She is almost 500 lbs as well. Jillian admitted to ripping her to shreds the first few days, and that America will most likely hate Jillian that first week, however, she said there has already been a huge breakthrough with that girl. My heart just breaks for those people. Seriously! But I am so proud of them and how they are willing to do anything to change the course of their physical life. I'm telling you, I get way to invested in these contestants.

Lastly, and most importantly, Bob Harper drives a porsche and is supposedly very in love with somebody at the moment. He melts my heart. But, who's heart does he not melt? I just adore him. And love how he genuinely cares about his contestants. On that note, I'll end my Biggest Loser tangent.

2) Since I'm already on a roll with reality T.V., I might as well give a shout out to the new season of The Bachelorette. My little brother watched it with me last night and was tickled by how I analyzed every man on the show. There are most definitely some interesting folks for Jillian to chose from. There is no doubt this season will be riveting. Especially with Mr. Tanner who is wildly obsessed with feet. Creeper.

3) As stated earlier, Jen and I saw 17 Again this weekend. I wouldn't say it's a buyer or deserves an Oscar, but it was cute and entertaining. Every teenage girl, however, loves it because our sweet Zac Efron is a cutie in it.

4) Jazzercise plus 30 Day Shred has been kicking me in the rear. Before you go thinking I do them both everyday, think again. I'm simply not that crazy. I do one or the other, but either way, my instructors at Jazzercise have taken it up a notch, or ten. Last night I had sweat dripping of my eyelashes. Not cool, folks. Not cool. I may take a break tonight because my thighs can't handle any more squats or lunges. When you have to hold on to a stationary object to sit down on anything, especially the toilet, you have yourself a problem.

5) Friday night we had our first mother/daughter event called This One's for the Girls! It was so, so much fun and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. However, this will be an entirely different post. Mostly I just wanted to thank y'all for your prayers. You ladies amaze me for being so committed to prayer for some girl you barely know. So, thank you, thank you, thank you. Pictures and more on the night coming soon.

Well, somehow this post went from being a bad blogger to reality television. So, on that note, I'm out. It's lunch time for this homegirl and Subway is quietly calling my name.

The Not-So-Amazing-Recap Of My Uneventful Week

I had one of the most relaxing, non-stressful weeks this past week and it was glorious. Sometimes when that happens, the weekends following are crazy, but, the pattern continued this weekend and it was nothing short of relaxing as well, and very quiet I might add. Here are a few things I loved about the week, and a few things I am looking forward to this week...

1) I was only gone one night this week, which was the normal Wednesday evening. I honestly didn't know what to do with myself. Normally the only night you can find me at home is on Mondays, so it was especially nice this week.

2) Thursday on my day off, I really didn't have anything to do, so I did nothing of productiveness whatsoever. I felt a tad bit guilty, but as I reflected on that day, I realized how rejuvenating it was. Doing absolutely nothing. I get so caught up in business that I tend to never stop, and quite frankly, Satan loves that because it's a great excuse. I really need to find a balance.

3) I have found that when I have more down time, I don't blog as much. Not only blog, but I don't comment much, either. And when I don't blog/comment much, the traffic really slows down. Is that strange? I blog more when I'm busy. Either way, I really enjoyed some time away from the computer nonetheless.

4) The Biggest Loser was absolutely fabulous this past Tuesday. Y'all, the last four contestants ran a stinkin' marathon. I am just so all up in that shows business it's not even funny. I think it is becoming a very unhealthy obsession. But oh, to just give them all a hug and tell them how proud I am of them!

5) My parents went out of town this weekend, and this twenty-three year old girl put her big girl pants on and stayed home by herself. That is huge y'all, huge. Just ask anybody that knows me. I'd rather sleep in my car than sleep in a house by myself. (I know, it's awful.) I'm a chicken baby. But, I did it and I am so proud of myself! I actually enjoyed having the home to myself most of the weekend and the quietness that came along with it. Yet again, so relaxing and rejuvenating.

6) Saturday afternoon, after much productiveness Saturday morning, my big brother called me to see if I wanted to go with him to the Astros game that night. Of course I did not object and we had so much fun! Our seats were five rows up from third base which was awesome and Hunter Pence did not disappoint. And the Astros won! Holla! (The best part of the night was when someone hit a fowl ball and it came flying at our heads and landed literally on top of my purse. However, homedude in front of me was adamant on getting and keeping the ball, so I let him have it. And when I say it came flying at our heads, I'm not exaggerating, we all ducked. True story. It was on T.V.)

7) We had a very nice, low-key Mother's Day this afternoon. After lunch, I was excited to give my mom the new chandelier I bought her from IKEA that she had been eyeing for her dining room. And of course, all the crazy funny cards! I seriously love nothing more than picking out cards for people. I spend hours doing just that! I even took a nap this afternoon. Score! And mom relaxed too. So, Happy Mother's Day to all of you fabulous mothers out there. I hope your day was extra sweet!

Now onto my excitements for this coming week...

1) The Biggest Loser Finale. Seriously, y'all, I think it is the best, and most inspiring reality show out there. (Don't judge, I know a lot of you out there are arguing with me because I didn't say that American Idol was the best. But for me, Biggest Loser is my choice!) And really, who does not just love Bob Harper and Jillian Michaels. LOVE them to pieces. Even though Jillian kicks my butt in 30 Day Shred, I still love her. It's really a love/hate relationship. (The thing is, even if I am addicted to the awesomeness that is this show, confession is the first step to healing, right? Ha!)

2) This coming Wednesday night is our last Wednesday night service for the semester. At least until June when the summer schedule starts! As much as I love this service, I do enjoy getting a break from it. Wednesdays are really long days, so this gives us about a two week break before summer hits with full force and we go nutty. However, it will be weird just going home after work on Wednesdays. I'm not sure what I'll do with another free night. Any suggestions?

3) I love my bosses to pieces, however, both of them will be out of town for part of the week. When they are gone, I tend to be very productive on Girl's Ministry stuff and can really focus on it, which is so nice!

4) So, with that said, this coming Friday night I am having my first ever mother/daughter event called This One's for the Girls and I am so excited. A little nervous, but more excited. It's going to be a great night with worship, lots of chocolate, games, encouragement, and some extremely fun prizes that I would like to keep for myself, but unfortunately, have to give away. Since the boys will be gone this week, I will really be able to focus and be very proactive in getting everything done that needs to be done for it. Thankfully, I have some amazing ladies who are helping me and I am so grateful. Seriously, what would I do without them? If you are a mom or a daughter, what is something you would want to do at a mother/daughter event? What are some fun games you could play? And lastly, mothers, what is something you want your girl to know, and you feel like you've drilled it in her head time and time again and she still doesn't "hear" you? Something that someone else may have to say for her to believe it? I am very interested in this and would love your input.

5) Sweet Missy will be having her baby this week! I am so excited for her and know that little Miss Ellison will be just darling. I just know I'll be refreshing her blog all day tomorrow when they induce her. Go see her blog for more details, and also, I'm sure she would appreciate your prayers very much!

6) This may or may not happen, but, I may get to meet sweet Janelle this weekend. We shall see! It's definitely in the back of my head and I am hoping we can make it work. I just love her and sweet little Ella.

Well, I think that's all. If you're still reading, bless you. What I thought would be maybe four points turned into thirteen. I really need to learn how to simplify. But, that's just how I roll!

One Year of Ministry

A year ago today I walked into my office for my very first day of ministry. They called it “Lindsee De Mayo” all day which made it really fun.

With that said, today is a sweet day in that it is my “one year anniversary” of being on staff as the Girl’s Ministry Director at my home church. To say that it has been a sweet, yet hard journey would be a complete understatement. I can honestly say that I have been challenged in my own walk with the Lord more than ever and have changed as a person. He continues to sanctify me through and through daily and as rough as that can be, it is so sweet.

Even though I’m just a rookie in ministry, I decided I would share with you some of the things I have learned in one year. So here goes…

1) When you get a lot of girls in one room, there is no telling what might happen. And honestly, they may not even act like girls! They may act more like boys in their bodily functions than we ever care to admit. And frankly, that’s okay, because that’s when the laughs run rampant.

2) Ministry can be very lonely at times. But, it’s in those times that I’ve learned I have to press into that loneliness and really seek after His face. Nothing besides Jesus Himself will curve that loneliness. Or the void I feel.

3) I don’t pray near enough for my girls.

4) I truly can do nothing of significance without the Lord. Everything I try to do or conjure up on my own is only in vain and will flop, or really make no difference whatsoever.

5) The faith that some of the girls I serve exude, is an absolute inspiration to me. I feel so privileged to be able to work with them. It is an honor I couldn’t have asked for!

6) More often than not, the plans I make get shot down. Years ago I planned on graduating and being married by now. Clearly, that’s not reality! So often I want to fight Him for taking away “my” plans, but then I remember that His plans are better than I could ever imagine. Whether or not I’m married.

7) Life is nothing but seasons, and I want to enjoy the season I’m in now and not rush it, as hard as that can be and as impatient I tend to be.

8) The girls I serve can smell a fake a mile away. I have no option to be anything but real with them and my struggles. I am so far from perfect. And I don’t ever want them to think I have it all together.

9) I still feel more than inadequate to do what I do. But, HE is equipping me.

10) I’ve never need the Lord more than I’ve needed Him this year. That may sound a little dramatic, but it’s the absolute truth. He is my Rock!

11) My hearts desire is that the girls I work with would have a love for Jesus that surpasses everything. Sometimes I feel like I expect so much out of them, but I want to expect a lot out of them!

12) Jr. High girls and High School girls are completely different, but I love them both.

13) According to the 6th grade girls, I am a giant. Especially when I wear heals.

14) I have a wonderfully, supportive staff that I appreciate so much. Their walking this journey with me, and at times, we’re all a little confused.

15) Youth pastors have a certain “look” about them, you can point them out in a crowd of a million. No lie.

16) In ministry, you have to be very, very flexible and at no time should you expect to have a consistent, normal schedule. I mean, what is normal anyway?

17) I wish I knew a million more things about the bible than I do. It’s just so thrilling and a lot of the times I don’t give it enough credit, or thought, or what have you. I should dig into it and read it a lot more than I do.

18) More and more this year I have desired consistency in my walk with the Lord, and more and more I realize that if I want that consistency, I have to be self-disciplined and more intentional about what I spend my time doing.

19) You can figure out a lot of information on Facebook. It makes all things official.

20) It is so hard not to have “ministry guilt” because I can’t get to know each and every girl that walks through those doors in a deep way. It’s just impossible, but oh, I love them.

21) My life is really busy, in a very inconsistent way.

22) I would be an absolute wreck without my lady volunteers. Seriously. They make my life about 100 times easier and I am so grateful for their service to me and the girls, and their awesome ideas. Plus, they make planning retreats and events way easier.

23) I have learned to delegate.

24) We absolutely, as a youth staff, cannot hold our meeting on our church campus. We tried it just last week, and the interruptions kept us from having long periods of productiveness or conversation. Hence why we hold our weekly meetings at Starbucks.

25) Being in ministry really is all about food. You eat non-stop.

26) Nothing is very shocking anymore. And boy oh boy, do I still have a long way to go.

27) Girl's Ministry is just flat fun. I have the best job in the entire world.

I am so grateful for the job I have. Sometimes I wonder how in the world the Lord would ever entrust me with such a position, but loving and discipline these girls has been nothing short of an absolute blessing. They’ve taught me more than I could ever teach them. They make me be real, they challenge me and I love it.

Most days I still feel like I just started yesterday and have no idea what I’m doing, but I am hopeful now that I have one year of ministry under my belt, that the Lord will continue to lead and guide me as I lead these girls. I pray He will. And I pray He’ll make me love Himself and these girls more than I ever could have imagined. He is up to something in Cypress, TX and I am thrilled to be along for the ride.

So, here’s to one year! Thanks for coming along with me for the journey. I am so grateful to each of you as well for your encouragement and love. It means the world to me!

A Few of my Favorite Things from this Weekend

This weekend was absolutely fabulous. And to share with you how absolutely fabulous it actually was, I will use our handy dandy numbering system!

1) Friday night my sweet Hannah came from Huntsville to stay with me. She was on her way out of town on Saturday, so instead of driving five hours all day Saturday, she cut the first hour and a half out by driving to Houston Friday night. Oh bless my heart! I adored having her here with me. Remember that time when I told you that she too is in the same season that I am and she understands me? Oh yes, she does. My favorite part of the night was when we were on our way to dinner at Chuy's and she said, "Lindsee, I almost called you on Wednesday night because I knew you would understand exactly what I was feeling." And thus began our ongoing conversation about this season of life the rest of the night. It was so encouraging, good, and just uplifting. I love her to pieces. And I am so grateful for her friendship and the way the Lord has blessed it!

Plus we got to enjoy dinner with my sweet Claire and her friend Mandy at none other than Chuy's. There quite possibly may be nothing better than their ranch-jalapeno sauce. Mouth watering! The best part of the night was when Claire spilled her water everywhere and our waiter gave her a kid cup after that. Priceless.
2) Saturday started out with me sleeping to my heart's content. And oh, it felt so good! These past two weeks have been non-stop, so the sleep was much needed and so nice. After waking up, I put on my workout clothes, and headed to Target to get a few things I needed and a gift for little Miss Grace Parker. You absolutely cannot go to a two year old's birthday party empty handed!

I truly had every intention of shredding when I returned home, but the shower was calling my name because like I just said, I had a birthday party to attend. Grace was just the cutest thing! And boy did she get some fun presents. I kind of wanted to be two again. Plus, I got to hold baby Dean again and be with some of my favorite people in the World. It was a good party all around with two exceptionally good cakes, one of which was made by her precious Pops. And when Jack makes a cake, you best try it. Soon he'll have his own bake shop. It's very impressive!

Y'all can pray for Jaclyn now though, because currently she is at home with a Kidney Stone and is trying to pass it. Not fun at all. And might I add terribly painful? Just a total inconvenience with a two year old and a six week old!

3) After I got home from Grace's party, I changed into my Broadway attire. Lest you be fooled, I wasn't actually in a Broadway production that night, however, I went with my little brother (aka Freshman in college) and his BFF to see RENT! Since then, it has pretty much consumed my every thought. I have a weakness for good Broadway shows, thanks to Jen, but especially have a weakness for good harmonies, and folks, RENT does not disappoint in the harmony section. To say that Adam Pascal and Anthony Rapp brought it is a complete understatement. They are two original cast members and it was so fun seeing them live. I've seen Adam Pascal twice in Aida in NYC, but oh, he just fit the role of Roger so well. I was wishing for Jen the whole time, because when we witness good harmonies together, we like to hold hands and squeal as silently as possible. It's just our thing. I didn't have a hand to grab, but my brother and I occasionally would grab our hearts and just sigh while glancing at each other. It was that all knowing look of, that was incredibly awesome. We love us some good stinkin' music and some good stinkin' singers.

We did stay after to meet some cast members and that was pretty fun, too. I really only cared about meeting Adam, but unfortunately, he was sneaky and left without saying hi to anybody. But, I completely understand. They work hard and are exhausted by the end of the day. And frankly, so was I.

4) After church and a meeting on Sunday, I got to be at my Mom's piano recital. She has literally been a piano teacher my whole life, and this year was the 20th anniversary of her having recitals in the same church! How awesome is that? I know I'd be biased by saying she is the best around, but seriously, she is the best around. Before the students got up to play someone prayed and he said that my mom exuded all of the Fruits of the Spirit, and I couldn't agree more. She not only is absolutely fabulous at what she does, but she loves it with her whole heart. Needless to say, it was very neat day and everyone did great.

Those are just a few of my favorite things from this weekend. I hope you had a great weekend, too! Tomorrow is my one year anniversary of being at this job. Can you believe it? One whole year. However, we'll address that in a different post. Adios!