Guarding Your Heart

It should be obvious by now that I’m no expert in the area of relationships.

Maybe I should clarify, I do relationships well with my friends, family, the girls I serve and so on and so forth, but not so much in the opposite sex kind of relationships. You and I both know that is very uncharted waters for me.

One thing I do consider myself an expert at, however, is waiting and guarding my heart.

If you’re a girl and you’ve either grown up in church, or have been involved in a church for more than one month, you probably hear more than anything, besides that your relationship with Christ should be of utmost importance, is to guard your heart.

You’ve heard it; I’ve heard it and we’ve all preached it. Stink, we’ve all tried to practice it. After all, it is biblical. But honestly, what does that mean? What does that even look like?

After lunch with my friend Lauri yesterday, I’ve really been pondering what this looks like.

I’ll be flat out honest and say that I think I’ve guarded my heart a little too much. I know you’re asking, how in the world is that even possible? Isn’t that a good thing? Let me explain.

As girls, and because I am one and because I work with them I can say this confidently, we tend to fall on either side of the spectrum. We’re either that girl that flirts with every boy in sight, leaving us with boyfriend after boyfriend and broken heart after broken heart, or we back off and don’t let anybody in. My thought was always, why would you willingly jump in just to get your heart broken? I never understood that. But there is someone out there who doesn’t understand my perspective. Why would someone not flirt and sit on the sidelines waiting for Mr. Right to fall into your lap? (Not that he'll fall in your lap, either, but that's a different post for a different day.)

My reasoning is plain and simple. I didn’t want my heart to get broken. Because being broken hurts. Being broken exposes things that you’d rather not get exposed. Let’s be honest, I still don’t crave a broken heart.

I think I’ve said it before on here that my greatest desire is also my greatest fear.

When it comes to my heart, and it getting stomped on, I tend to lean towards safe.

Although that is a good thing, it can also be very detrimental. Girls who haven’t dated in a long time, or who have never dated, are safer in general because we either don’t know what we’re doing, or we don’t want a mulligan of our last relationship. If the last break-up you had ended up taking a year to recover from, then safe is the way to go the next time around.

This tactic, so far, has gotten me nowhere. Now do you see what I'm saying? I think I've guarded my own heart a little too much because of my fear of being hurt. That perspective is also wrong because hurt produces change most times, and change can be a beautiful thing.

What I don’t plan on doing is throwing all wisdom out the window and everything I’ve ever learned to become the girl that manipulates every guy in sight to fall in love with me, not at all. But I’m in need of some balance. I'm in need of some wisdom.

If I continue to hold my heart too close, I’ll never let any guy in, no matter how much I may have feelings for him. I don’t want to be stuck there.

The key is wisdom. The passage in Proverbs that we always refer to is really talking about wisdom, not about relationships. Obviously, there is much wisdom to be had in relationships, but God created us for relationships, not to fear them. We need to guard the wisdom and instruction on our heart, because it is the wellspring of life. Wisdom from the Lord, and those seeking the Lord, truly sustain us. That is if we guard it well.

Christ should, without a shadow of a doubt, be the center of our lives and hearts. His Word should be constantly engraved on and in our hearts. In fact, you don’t even have to take my word for it, God’s words are plain and simple, “My son, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Let them not escape from your sight; keep them within your heart. For they are life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh.” Proverbs 4:20 – 22. I don’t know about you, but I tend to skip right over those verses and head straight to verse 23 where it tells us to guard our heart.

His words are life.

His wisdom is life.

His heart is life.

Whether you’ve never dated or whether your heart has been trampled on a time or two, I challenge you, along with myself, without letting it become a false idol, to not guard my heart from good, solid, healthy relationships, but to guard the wisdom and words imparted to it.

Guard that with all your life, for it truly is the wellspring of life.

Fall head over heels in love with Jesus. Serve Him. Win souls for Him. Trust God. Honestly? What Godly guy would miss that?

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23

Catching Up

I think it's safe to say that it's been a pretty busy past few weeks in my little world. Then again, that's nothing new.

I'm happy to report, however, that today I spent my entire day at home. I left only to drive to my parent's to pick up my feather down comforter topper that has now graced the top of my bed and is just waiting for someone to sleep on it. That someone would be me! Today has been very quite, calm and productive. Quite opposite from the past few weeks!

I don't know why I always think October will be a calm month, because it never is. Between the three birthdays we celebrate in our family and all of the other fall activities, it fills up quickly.

A few things I've been up to lately are as follows.

Celebrating my dad's birthday. The only birthday we've been able to celebrate with all five of us is Kevyn's birthday. With him away at school, the other celebrations have been just the four of us, but they've still been fun. My dad is a sushi fanatic, so we went to Kirin, a japanese sushi restaurant for his birthday. I'm not so much of a sushi lover, but they have plenty of noodles and edamame to keep me going back for more! After dinner, we went back to their house for Crave Cupcakes. Delicious, if you ask me! My camera battery was dead, but my moms iPhone 4 camera came through for us that night. Happy birthday, dad!


Tuesday night Bible study. Last Tuesday Beth Moore brought in the one and only Christy Nockels to lead worship and it was heavenly. She has the voice of an angel. There are many, many reasons I love Tuesday nights, but one of them, by far, has to be the fact that I get to see many of my very favorite people in the USA. People I've grown up with, new friends, church friends, blog friends and everyone in between. I can't walk through the doors without saying hi to at least five people and I love that! An example would be the picture below. Jen, my BFF since the womb, and Heather, my new sweet, gorgeous hilarious friend that I met on this here blog. I love them. The whole night was so great. I actually wrote a whole blog post on it, but have yet to post it. Do y'all do that? In time, I'll probably publish it.


My older brother, Brien, turned 29 last week. I'm telling you, the birthdays go boom, boom, boom in October. It's a frenzy of celebrations and it's so great! We celebrated his birthday at Joe's Crab Shack with our family and some friends. I think we had the entire restaurant to ourselves! Joe's is known to go all out on birthdays and this one did not disappoint. They make you do the most embarrassing things. It's the number one reason I choose to never eat on my birthday there. That and seafood isn't my top choice. We had a fun time and laughed a ton! He's not much of a sweets guy, so we didn't have any cake to celebrate over, which I think is so wrong, but it's his party and he'll do what he wants to!

Has anyone seen an almost three year old use a toothpick? This was my favorite part of the night. I laughed until I cried! Adorable!

Um, he had to run around the restaurant "sucking his thumb" while we sang Happy Birthday to him wearing this treasure. Hilarious! He was such a good sport!

Ahhh! A shark!

This past Saturday was our Fall Festival which is why I've been so non-existent. Besides VBS, it's our biggest outreach and it's no doozie. However, it is a blast and this year we had 2,500 people come out! Praise the Lord! I always love seeing all the kiddos dressed up and excited about all the moonwalks, and candy and games, oh my! Over all, it was a great, windy day and my feet had had enough by 7:30 that night.

I also got to see some of my old girls and that is always so sweet to my heart. I miss them and already love when they come visit me a the office, text me, call me, want to eat lunch with me and so on and so forth, which is exactly what happened this weekend! I can't wait for Thanksgiving when we get to have a reunion! I love them!


And last, but certainly not least, I've been moving. For about a week I took trips here and there transporting this and that, but I think I've finally got mostly everything gathered in one place. Honestly, since it's only been one week and we've all been busy, it still needs a lot of work, but my room is coming along. The best part is that I have a bed to sleep in. So for now, I'll leave you with one picture. My ever so comfy bed that is calling my name as I type this! Excuse the books in the corner, I'm needing a bookshelf in the worst way. More to come on the apartment, for sure, but for now, I'm so thankful for the place and people the Lord has provided for me to live with for the next year!


Thanks for sticking around til the end of my ramblings on catching up. I hope you all have a great week!

Settled

I think I'm on the brink of ending one of the most unsettled years of my life to date.

Last September I moved out of my parent's house and into my friend, Claire's, house as her hubby was deployed to Iraq. Mandy and I took up residency in her fairly new home and two empty bedrooms so that she wouldn't have to spend a year by herself. It really was great for all the parties involved.

However, when Russel was able to come home for weekends, Thanksgiving, for leave or what not, clearly Mandy and I exited their humble abode to stay with our parent's. Obviously, this was by choice. Need I even state how awkward that could have been?

After a few months of finally getting into a routine, May fell upon us.

May means the start of summer, which means all routines are thrown out the door and my crazy life begins.

I left for Florida with my youth group for camp the second week of June and the morning after Russell arrived home for his leave for a little over two weeks.

When I returned home from Florida, since he was still in the states, I went straight to my parent's house to spend a few weeks there.

After he left, I resumed my residency in her home at then very end of June.

That is until I left for Colorado, a few days later. Vacation was the theme of this week and it was fabulous.

When I returned from Colorado, close to the middle of July, I spent one week at Claire's house, then left for Galveston with our Middle School group for their mission trip the last week of July. Talk about unsettled, our living conditions were below par, which makes me grateful for my living conditions.

I spent one night extra in Galveston with a few girlfriends, then came home, and literally unpacked and repacked all so that I could head to Belize for eight days with our High School students the first week of August.

In the mean time, Russell had been released to come home for good at the end of July, which meant that I was to move out when I returned home from Belize.

We got home on a Sunday night from Belize, and Monday morning, with energy I didn't know I had, I went to Claire's and packed up as much as I could of my bedroom to move back in with my parent's.

I knew that living with my parent's again was going to be temporary, so I didn't do much to my room. Honestly, it would be embarrassing to tell you how long I lived out of a suitcase.

To say I was unmotivated would be an understatement.

These last two weeks I actually house and dog sat for a couple in our church which meant that I was living in yet another place. Can I just say that I feel like I conquered the world? I'm typically not a girl that likes to be alone all the time, and especially at night, but I did it! And I survived! Yes, it got lonely every now and then and I craved people time, but thankfully, I had a few friends that kept me company and I was on a street where I new half the block it felt like. Does this mean I'll ever consider living alone? Um, no. I'm not that girl! Ha!

During all this transition, a few friends of mine had been talking about living together and we decided to shoot for an October move-in date. I was beyond thrilled because more than anything, I was ready to be settled.

The Lord is so good and in His perfect timing, we found the perfect apartment that we moved into yesterday. Of course, I'm currently writing this from my bed at my parents house because my bed at the apartment is lacking sheets, but come tomorrow, I'm there for good.

All that to say, this year I've not felt like myself. I think that's a tough thing about being single. You never know what's next, or where you'll live next. But then again, being married you could move around just as much.

I'm so ready to call a place my own. I'm so ready for a routine. I'm so ready to have a sanctuary where I can relax. I'm so ready to feel like myself again.

Between all the personal stuff I've had going on and all that's gone on and is coming in ministry, I've been a little overwhelmed. It's just a lot and it's stressful! The knots in my back would agree. But I think I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and I'm so thankful.

No, my life won't slow down to a super slow speed. Not in this season anyway. No, ministry doesn't get a big break. No, I'm not guaranteed to be in this apartment for a long time, not even until I get married. But it's a place I can call my own. A place I can call home. A place I can stay. A place I know I'll be for a least a year, God willing, and hopefully longer.

Just thinking about it makes me want to cry. Maybe that's just because I'm exhausted from moving. But either way, I'm happy.

I'm starting to feel settled again. Thank you, Jesus!

All the Single People

My church isn't a mega single people church. Our population is few and far between here, but if you look hard enough, there's a handful of us that attend, love our church and are dedicated to it. Last Spring we decided to start up a small Bible study just so that if any "young adult" people should visit our church (which happens more than we think) we could point them to a group of people their age. So far it's been great! We've had a consistent group, and Lord willing, it will grow and more peeps our age in our tiny suburb of Houston will come.

We've been really blessed with two families in particular that have offered so unselfishly to help lead us and get this thing off the ground. Both of them are in ministry themselves and have four kids each, so this is a huge sacrifice for them. They would never tell you that, but to say they have a servants heart is an understatement. Not to mention the fact that they're both amazing teachers, hilarious, and just flat out down to earth. I appreciate them more than they'll ever know! We're all so grateful!

This week after Bible study William and Greg blessed us with a little gem. They wrote a song for us. I don't know if you'll laugh as hard as I did because I know them personally and their witty personalities, but I couldn't resist sharing it with you.

Single or not, please enjoy the Single People song. I hope you laugh as hard as I did.



P.S. In case you're wondering, William is shaking a "William's Kindle Fund" tube. It was his birthday present from our group since he's saving up for a Kindle. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Let's Talk About Habits

Yesterday morning as I was shaving I thought about all the people that think I’m the craziest person for shaving consistently every day. That led me to put up a status on both twitter and facebook that said, People look at me crazy when I tell them I shave every day. Yes, yes I do. Apparently it's odd. But I'm OCD like that! Any other everyday shavers out there? We must unite!

To say that it stirred up quite the conversation is an understatement. Who knew people were passionate about shaving? I was so tickled at all the responses.

Besides the fact that I don’t like to feel my own spiky legs, let alone someone else have an unfortunate encounter with sandpaper, I think a lot of my shaving issues stem from the fact that I am a major creature of habit.

And since I am a major creature of habit, there are a lot of other things I do that could label me as a nut case.

So I think we should talk about these habits. We all have them, do we not?

1) I shave every day. In fact, my shower routine is the exact same. Wet hair, shampoo, rinse, condition, wash body, shave, rinse out conditioner, face wash. Repeat daily. (Okay, there are a few days I skip the shower. Gasp! I’m that girl!)

2) I wash my face every single night. I don’t care if it is 9:00 at night or 2:00 in the morning, I will not go to bed without washing my face or brushing my teeth.

3) I read every single night before I go to bed. The only exception to this is when someone is spending the night and prefers the lamp to be turned off before I get my reading in. If this is the case, it take me so much longer to fall asleep. I’ve trained myself to fall asleep while reading. However, I have been known at times to stay up until 4:00 a.m. to finish a book. Ridiculous.

4) My worst habit is that I peel my mascara off every night before washing my face. I don’t know why I have an obsession with my eyelashes, but I do. Unfortunately, every now and then an eyelash gets caught in the mess and I pull it out, too. My fear is that I’ll be eyelash less by the time I’m 30.

5) I never dry my jeans. Ever. When you have an inseam as long as mine, the fear of any pair of jeans shrinking up is very prominent. This means I can forget the whole wash the jeans the night before I need them kind of thing. They need to have time to dry. It’s kind of unfortunate.

6) When I hang my jeans to dry, I always hang them by the leg, not the waist. I like to think this stretches them out to make them longer. Weird habit, I know.

7) I always do my make-up in front of the window in the natural sunlight in a little tiny hand-held mirror. The sunlight thing only happens if I’m doing my make-up after the sun rises. I’ve never done my make-up in a big bathroom mirror. Never.

8) As I’m falling asleep at night, I rub my feet together like a cricket. It’s the only way I can fall asleep.

9) I absolutely cannot eat without washing my hands. If I don’t wash my hands, I have this underlying fear that I’ll come down with a stomach bug. My hands get so dry in the winter that they crack and start bleeding. Gross, I know.

Habits, good or bad, we all have them. Spill yours, please!

The Social Weekend

For the very social girl that I am, I had a very social weekend. Need I even tell you that I loved every minute?

It all started Friday night when I celebrated my little brother's twenty-first birthday. Seriously, folks. Can we have a moment of silence while I freak out? My little brother is officially twenty-one. That is weird.

However weird it is, though, it's fact and we had so much fun celebrating with just our little family. The birthday boy called for a steak, so we headed to Texas Land & Cattle for dinner! I, of course, had grilled chicken, but it did not disappoint. Have I ever told you that I'm not a beef girl? As much as I used to love it, I just don't anymore.

Anyway, that's completely beside the point.

After freezing our rears off at dinner, we headed back to my parent's house for none other than cookie cake and gifts. Can I get an amen? We then proceeded to sit in the living room for a good 2 hours and chat and laugh about mindless things. At one point we were all texting each other. In the same room. It made for a very random evening, but so much fun! It was probably the calmest twenty-first birthday I've ever been to (besides my own) but it was great and I think Kev had a really good time.

Me and the bro's at dinner!

The parental units.

The fam. (I had on boots which have a one inch heel, so although I'm close, I'm not the tallest Eddy.)

Taking pictures in birth order is only necessary. I love these guys! (Notice I didn't call them boys!)

We thoroughly enjoy taking jumping pictures.


Saturday I had a full day which was so great. The morning started off calm, but then the social line up began with Fall Baking Day! We had a Valentine's Baking Day back in February and it was so much fun that Missy decided we needed to do it more often. Since I'm not gifted in baking or cooking, I very much appreciate these days. Not to mention the ladies I get to be with! It's so fun to call my "blog friends" my real life friends, which is exactly what they are. Both Missy and Heather did a great job re-capping the day, so don't miss their posts. Also, you'll be inspired if you go read Deb's "'Red" post. :)

I'll leave you with some pictures, all of which I stole since my camera battery was dead. Thank you, Missy and Heather!

Meet Missy, our fabulous host.

The menu.

The fruit of our labor. Or should I say the treats of our labor! ;)

After baking day I planned to drop in at a birthday party for one of our missionaries who's here for a year, but time did not allow. I wouldn't have made it in time. Bummer.

Instead, I ran home and watched the end of the A&M game with my family. It's way more exciting watching a game with an Aggie. I don't really care for football, but with time I've begun to appreciate it more and actually sometimes enjoy watching it!

After the game ended we had a youth worker fellowship night. I always look forward to those because they're so great! Normally we're all gathered in meetings, or we don't even see each other. These nights give us time to just hang out, play games and get to know one another. We've had Bunco nights, Spoon nights, and other fun themed nights. Saturday what was supposed to be a night of extreme spoons, turned into a night of segregation. The ladies chatted while the men watched football. Typical, yet so my speed. I loved it!

Then lastly, I headed (very late) to PF Changs to celebrate my friend, Mike's, birthday. Since I ate my way through Saturday, I opted out of eating anything there, but it was fun to be with friends.

I was so pooped after all my activities that my shut eye came quick.

As I look back on my day, I realize how blessed I am in the area of friendships. I have the widest variety of friends that I could have never dreamed up on my own and I'm so thankful. I went from a group of girls that I met on the Internet (who would have ever thought?), to a group of people that I love serving with, to a group of super fun friends that are living the same season I am. Talk about unique. I love it! Thank you, Jesus, for sweet, sweet friendships.

I hope you all had a great weekend as well!

Play On Tour

This past Wednesday evening I went to the Carrie Underwood concert. A few weeks back, my old roommate, Mandy, invited me to go with her and her cousin and I didn't hesitate one moment to say yes! I'm so thankful she invited me because IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!

I've always been a fan of Carrie's (we're on a first name basis) and know almost every word to each of her songs so I knew I'd be singing along the entire time, and rest assured, I did. As I stated earlier, she is the definition of likeable. She's gorgeous, sweet, can bust it, genuine and is a believer. Did you know that Brandon Heath sang at her wedding? So great. I'm pretty sure I stared at her gorgeousness the entire time.

Not only that, her sets and outfit changes were impressive. Mandy got really great seats when she bought the tickets back in April, so that was really fun to be so close!

My favorite part of the night was when she sang Jesus Take the Wheel. Now let me be straight up honest, I am so over than song it's not even funny. It's definitely not my favorite, BUT, (with a capitol B), she did this transition straight from that song into How Great Thou Art and it was incredible. That is one of my favorite hymns and she blew it out of the water. I was completely illegal and caught the last minute of it on my phone. Of course, the audio stinks, but it's been fun getting to listen to it again.

I may be making an incorrect assumption, but being the believer that she is, I know it was from her heart. She knows who blessed her with the gift of that crazy, awesome voice of hers. I even saw a few hands raised among the crowd, which was thrilling to see at a secular concert.

Over all, it was a great evening. As you know, I've been to my fair share of concerts and I can confidently say that this is on the top of my favorite concerts list.

Thank you so much for the invite, Mandy. I had so much fun!

Now onto the pictures. Let me just say that taking pictures at concerts is so hard. They turn out blurry and aren't that great, but I figured I'd share them anyway! Enjoy a taste of the Play On tour.

Mandy and I waiting for the concert to start.

Of course she started out with Cowboy Casanova. Love it!


That platform raised every now and then. I can never get over the technical aspects of a concert of this caliber. It makes my head spin. Especially watching the guys run lights on the catwalk. Shudder.


Here she is swinging.


The background changed for each song. It was so neat!


Playing the guitar...

The best part was when they put her in this truck that hung over our heads and went around the Toyota Center. Talk about genius! We happened to have the perfect seats and she ended up right in front of us.


How cute is she?

SO fun!



What little girl doesn't want a ball gown that lights up? :)

At one point she sang I Told You So by Randy Travis, and he joined her! Of course, he wasn't actually there and was pre-recorded, but it was so fun. They brought the Grand Ole Opry to Houston.

This was during Mama's Song. The flashed pictures of her growing up and ended with a wedding picture. So precious.


Adios, Carrie! Thanks for coming to Houston and making my week so fun.

My Life is Random

I don’t know about you, but I think it’s time for a list. It is October, after all, and since I seem to be a bit perplexed that there are only three months left of 2010, this is how I organize my thoughts.

1) I hate to state the obvious, but it’s October. Are you serious?

2) There is no way to eat a Freebird's burrito gracefully. It’s virtually impossible. Note to self: Don’t eat at Freebird's on a first date.

3) I got new glasses today. They are “anti-fatigue” lenses. Apparently, since I stare at a computer all day long, my eyes are straining. In the two minutes I’ve had them on, I can already tell a difference. It’s a miracle.

4) My little brother turns twenty-one tomorrow. Little brother. Twenty-one. Sweet mercy, how can that be?

5) I went to the Carrie Underwood concert last night. More to come on that later, but seriously? Homegirl blew me away. She is the epitome of a likeable person. And that voice of hers? Well it is clearly a gift from God above.

6) In the past two weeks, I’ve consumed at least 50 pumpkin muffins. It’s bad. They’re addicting. Especially if you add chocolate chips! Can I get an amen?

7) I move into an apartment with two fabulous ladies in nine days. To say I’m thrilled and excited would be the biggest understatement ever. I have to practice some serious self-control as I want to buy everything for our new little home! It’s hard not to buy everything that we need at once. Many fun adventures are awaiting us.

8) The weather here in Houston has been p.e.r.f.e.c.t. Perfect, I tell you. It resembles California weather in the best way.

9) Recently I’ve been without a DVR and it’s about to be the death of me. Do you know that I have not watched Biggest Loser or Glee the past two weeks? It’s a tragedy, I tell you. I know, I know, you can watch it all online, but let’s be honest, I’m not the biggest fan of that. Soon and very soon I will rejoice over a DVR again, until then, I’m not listening or reading any comments on either of those shows because I don’t care to read any spoilers. (However, I do plan on watching them soon online. I can’t wait any longer.)

10) I saw The Social Network last Saturday. Let me say that I don’t plan on buying it, I thought it was very intriguing. Having had a facebook account since it was started makes it all the more interesting to me. The way it’s changed in the past seven years is simply crazy. Not to mention that phenomenon that is facebook. Mark Zuckerburg is a brilliant man. And also the world’s youngest billionaire.

11) I could do some major damage at IKEA. I’m just sayin’.

12) I'm super ready for my new blog makeover. Patience, Lindsee. Patience.

And that concludes the most random list of 2010.