A Modest Discussion

*I recently sent this letter out to the parents in our ministry pleading for their help in the area of modesty. If you are a mother of a girl, I pray you'll be a game changer. Let's fight for this, friends!

Hi Parents-

After some recent discussion with some parents, leaders and staff, I come to you with a sensitive subject, but one that needs to be addressed.

Recently we’ve seen some clothes at church that have been, for lack of a better term, inappropriate. The battle of modesty is one of the biggest and hardest ones we fight at church, but it is one of the most important. We want so badly to be a grace-filled church, but we also desire that our girls learn to dress modestly out of respect for both themselves and for the guys involved. You and I both know the fierce battle we all face every day, so our desire is that church can be a safe place, a place where our teenage guys can come freely to worship the Lord with little distraction.

As a church we don’t have a policy set in place as far as “dress code” is concerned, because the last thing we want to be is legalistic, but at the same time, we need your help. I always say that modesty starts at home and I truly believe it does. One mom asked me recently what a good rule of thumb is as far as clothes at church are concerned, and I told her that the best way to approach it would be if you can’t wear it to school, you should think twice about wearing it to church. I understand there are skirts and dresses and things of that nature you probably wouldn’t wear to school simply because of the comfort factor, but at church my encouragement would be to find ways to make it appropriate. That might mean wearing a camisole underneath a shirt, wearing tights or wearing a jacket or cardigan over the dress or top.

My personal mantra has always been that I don’t want to be the cause of someone else’s sin (Matthew 5:28), so I do the best I can to dress appropriately to respect both myself and the guys I’m around, whether they be the high school boys I serve, my friends or the men I work with. This is what I try to teach our girls as well. Most of them have heard me say that I’m a girl, and I work with girls, and more often than not we dress in a way that is revealing because we enjoy the attention, not because we’re naïve. I know that may sound harsh, but it’s the truth.

I really don’t enjoy focusing on the negative, but I am passionate about protecting our girls, and I’m simply pleading for your help on this issue. I love clothes and dressing trendy, and I’m here to say that you can dress terribly cute, trendy and modest all at once. It is possible!

This isn’t an email to tell you or your daughter what she can and can’t wear; it’s more of just a personal conviction and raising awareness on this issue that we tend to ignore because it’s somewhat uncomfortable and awkward, especially as your girls are becoming young ladies. Parents please help us out; don’t be afraid to speak up. Engage them in conversation about why and how we dress modestly. The way we dress, more often than not, is a reflection of our heart. Your daughter may resent you for a week, but I guarantee as she gets older, she’ll look back and thank you for protecting her.

Biblically, according to Titus 2, we each have a responsibility to teach the younger ladies to be self-controlled and pure, among many other things. I pray we rise to this challenge and do just that. All of us, no matter what age, can be learners and teachers in this area.

We appreciate each of you very much and are so thankful that you let us serve and love your girls the way you do. It is a great joy to me personally!

Please let me know if you have any questions. I am happy to help and talk!

Blessings,

All About Hair

On Friday morning I will head to the land where my hair will comply to all my wishes. That land is Colorado. In Houston I have to fight humidity every single day, which although good for the skin, is awful for the hair. It's unfortunate.

Since Houston is my current city, I've had to experiment with all sorts of products that would fight humidity giving me good hair days on a consistent basis. What most people don't know is that I have naturally curly/wavy hair, so I have to work extra hard to attain good hair. I feel as a girl it is my duty to share all good hair products with girlfriends, so I'm here to do just that. Some sweet friends recently also asked me to share my hair secrets, and I promised I would, so I want to be true to my promise.

What I need you to know upfront is that I'm a hair snob. It's the one thing I will splurge on because it absolutely makes a difference. Especially if you have a thick mane like me.

What you also need to know is that I currently have hair envy. Her name is Kate Middleton. Or Princess Katherine. Yes, I will shut up about PK after this post for good, but you have to admit, the girl has good hair. She and Pippa are currently displayed on every magazine cover so I see it every time I step foot in a store. Needless to say, it's hard to miss the perfect hair.

Enough about princesses, let's start with shampoo.

I used to think, since I had thick hair, that I didn't need a volumizing shampoo. My, how wrong I was. If you want volume all over, you have to go with a good, volumizing shampoo. My current favorite (which has been my favorite for a while) is Matrix Amplify Shampoo. Not only does it do wonders for the hair, it has a wonderful smell to boot. You can't go wrong here, folks.

Of course, it's only necessary to follow that up with its sister conditioner. Here's my secret with conditioner, start from the ends and go up. Your roots don't need a lot of conditioner, you have natural oils to take care of that. The more conditioner you put on top, the less volume you'll have. Conditioner is good when used in moderation. With that said, Matrix Volumizing Condition is the way to go.

After a good rinse, I typically let my hair towel dry for a bit (not too long or it gets all funky) and then I spray in Biolage Smoothing Shine Milk. Friends, I think this is my secret to shiny, soft, manageable hair. When I don't use this, or run out and don't stock up quick enough, I can tell. My hair tends to be more coarse and less manageable. Again, you don't need a ton and I would only spritz a tad up top, but this stuff is my absolute favorite. I'm addicted.

Once I smooth the hair, I pump up the volume one more time with Paul Mitchell Extra-Body Daily Boost Root Spray. I've owned a little bottle for months now and it has lasted a long time. I've tried a lot of root sprays and this one gives me the least amount of hassle. I really like Big Sexy Hair Root Pump as well, but if you go overboard on that, you can really leave you're hair looking matted and un-washed. This is just a spray, as opposed to a cream or mousse. You can be more generous with this pump.

Once I finish those steps, I'm good to go! I then blow-dry my hair, which takes, what it feels like, an hour. That and straightening my hair are my two biggest enemies. That is a lot of the reason I only wash my hair every other day. Sometimes, if I'm lucky, I can push three days. But that's really living on the edge.

Once I'm done blow-drying, I simply straighten and style. A lot of friends have asked what I put in my hair as a protectant before I straighten, but I truly don't use anything. I used to use a smoothing gel, but I've found those make my hair more greasy. The products I use before I blow-dry act as a protectant as well. Especially the smoothing milk. Or at least that's what I tell myself.

After I'm done straightening, I tease and spray. I feel like hairspray is the one thing you can go cheap on, because it all has the same purpose, however, there are a few I'm more drawn to, especially when I'm battling the humidity.

My favorite hairspray is Redken Forceful 23. Not only does it smell good, but it claims to have 24 hour humidity resistance, which was instantly attractive to me. I really like it, and I think it helps, but more recently I've been going the cheap route and using...

Suave Touchable Finish. After using it for about a month or so I'd say it isn't as strong as the Redken, but it does a pretty good job and it too smells heavenly. When you compare $15 to $3 right now, I'm gonna go cheaper. If it gets the job done and by the end of the day my hair is looking okay, then I'm happy.

There you have it friends, all my exhilarating hair secrets. Happy hair day to you!

What are some of your favorite hair products?

I'm Never Going Back

When you see pictures like this...

And this...

And this...

And bless it...this...

Or this...

I bet one thing comes to mind. That one thing? I'm officially a Mac owner. And I'm never going back.

(And no, it wasn't by choice, but only by the death of my PC. May it rest in peace.)

The Wedding Comparison

It is no surprise that I was, and still am, a fan of the Royal Wedding. In fact, my mom bought the special People Royal Wedding issue and when she's done gawking over it, it's all mine.

It also should come as no surprise to you that I am a big fan of Disney. Especially all the fairytale stories. I am a hopeless romantic.

So, it should come as no surprise to you that the photo I am about to show you is brilliant. I love it. And people wonder why we were so obsessed with the Royal Wedding? Because she got her fairytale, friends. That's why. A real life fairytale.

Perfection. I love the Prince and Princess.

And they lived happily ever after...

My Thoughts this Morning

*I'm currently having issues forming one thought to actually write a complete blog post. So I apologize for the randomness that are my thoughts this morning. Just a glimpse into my mind.

I must have the easiest bed in the world to make. Simply because I am a brick when I sleep and barely move. I’m lucky.

On the mornings I wash my hair, I find myself in a predicament. You see, if I blow dry it right away without letting it air dry at all, I typically have a good hair day. It just works better. The problem in that logic is it then takes me longer to blow dry my hair since it is obviously more wet, and I start to perspire, which then leads me to wishing I would have waited and can take another shower. But, if I don’t blow dry it right away, I run the risk of having a worse hair day because it’s not as cooperative after air drying for a bit. These thoughts run through my head EVERY SINGLE MORNING. Every morning is different. Does anybody else have this predicament?

I actually don’t wash my hair every day. In that case, I use baby powder. Yes, yes I do. Put a little in my hand, dab it on my hair, then actually use the blow dryer to give it a fresh look. It’s revolutionary, friends. It also save hours of blow drying and straightening every morning.

Berry Blossoms Kashi Cereal is out of this world good. Yesterday I finished the box. This morning I had to eat a pop tart. That was disappointing as I feel that Berry Blossoms have won me over for good.

This morning, as if every service conspired against me, waste management, the cleaning service and the lawn guys all showed up at the same time. This was stressful to me because I didn’t know any of them were coming, except the trash guys. The most stressful part? The dog. He can’t handle the people. FREAK OUT.

I still don’t understand how you have enough energy to play ball in the morning. Apparently eleven year old little boys do. He does it every single morning while I’m getting ready. Upstairs. In the game room. Hilarious.

I really need to set an alarm this afternoon to remind myself that said eleven year old boy has piano lessons at 4:30. Which means I have to leave work early. And take him where? To piano. At my mother’s house. Because she is his piano teacher. That will be fun.

I was hoping to get all the dishes done before I left for work this morning, but apparently my ambitions were too far out of reach. It didn’t happen. Boo.

I am running late and apparently can’t multi-task as well as I thought I could.
Going to bed at 1:30 a.m. wasn’t the wisest idea. And although I’m feeling it, I wouldn’t trade the lack of sleep last night for anything. After all, I was only in bed that late because a sweet college girl came over and we got all caught up on life. I love that. I love my girls.

Did I mention I've been babysitting/house-sitting since Saturday? Oh yes, yes I have. It's been fun. Just call me Mom.

Needless to say, I'm feeling somewhat out of whack. But it's good.

Thursday, please be nice to me.

I'm Becoming Just Like Her

I used to think my mom was crazy when, before going out of town, she wanted the whole house clean. Now I understand the method to her madness. Who wants to come home to a dirty house after vacation?

I used to think my mom was crazy when, heading to the pool as a child; it took her an hour to get read. Now I understand that not only was she getting herself ready, but also three little ones which meant a lot of pool supplies. Things like towels water and snacks so we wouldn’t shrivel. She knew we couldn’t walk out of the door in just our swimsuit and flip flops.

I used to think my mom was crazy when she was so late everywhere that people would tell her a different time so that she’d actually be on time. Now I understand, as I have taken after her in my time management. I’m not the most on time person.

I used to think my mom was crazy when she wouldn’t say no to anything and we spent all our time at the church volunteering. Now I understand that she was serving the body of Christ not out of obligation, but out of enjoyment.

I used to think my mom was crazy when she would cry after a bird hit our windshield or when our pet turtle ran away. (I use the word ran lightly as turtles don’t really run.) Now I understand that gentleness is a fruit of the spirit and she posses this fruit in its purest form. She’s one of the most gentle and sensitive people I know.

I used to think my mom was crazy when she wouldn’t buy anything unless it was on sale. Now I understand the benefits of bargain shopping and realize that nothing is really worth its full value. It has saved me a lot of money in my adulthood.

I used to think my mom was crazy when all she ever wanted to drive was a huge car. Now I understand that not only is it safer, but a bigger car means more people you can pile in to tote around.

I used to think my mom was crazy when she was always the last one to leave a party or event. Now I understand that leaving someone with a huge mess to clean up by themselves is unfair and that people are flat out fun to be around. Once a sanguine, always a sanguine.

I used to think my mom was crazy when she’d make us sit through two hour, sometimes three, piano recitals. Now I understand that she’s easily one of the greatest piano teacher’s around, and the length of her piano recitals, means that many students want to learn from her.

I used to think my mom was crazy, until I realized I am becoming just like her. And that’s not such a bad thing.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! I love you!

If I was planning my wedding...

Bride or not, I am a huge fan of all things weddings. I always have been and I assume I always will be.

Princess Katherine (as she now wishes to be referred to) did her wedding right and gave this currently single girl an enormous pile of ideas as I think ahead to my future wedding, whenever that may be. Yes, those of us who are single are lucky enough to have witnessed such an event take place as it gives us hope that our dream can become a reality. You know, the dream of one day becoming a real life princess. And having a Royal Wedding.

Okay, so that may be a bit too hopeful, you know, the whole princess and royal wedding thing, but a girl can dream, can she not?

But, if I was currently planning my wedding, and you had an invite in your mailbox...

You might see a few celebrities there. You know, like David and Victoria Beckham. We go way back. In fact, David was my soccer coach when I was five.

You might be asked to wear a hat. Don't have one? These two are currently sitting in my closet. Because who doesn't own an extravagant hat? In need of said extravagance? No fear, Etsy is near. I have a feeling the website of all things D.I.Y. could at least give you an idea on how to make your own.

You might notice, or quite possibly step on, my eight foot long train.

But not unless my wonderful maid of honor is always willing to carry it perfectly, carefully and strategically, in which case you could just admire it.

You might watch my dad give me away. At which point my groom might joke that he thought this was supposed to be just a small family affair. Ha! I remind my dad often that he only has one wedding to pay for. It is the one perk of having no sisters. : )

You might watch him place a ring on my finger. But don't worry, I'll also place one on his, too. And hopefully they'll both fit.

You might watch them pronounce us as the Future Mr. and Ms. King and Queen of our future household, because no doudt, we will be just that.

You might not see us drive away to the reception as you'll probably beat us there and will most likely be munching on Hours d'oeuvres, but rest assured, we'll be taking all the family photos we can. And then some more.

Once you arrive at the reception, you might admire our lovely cake. You won't get to gaze at it for long, though, as I know the cake is really what everybody wants at a wedding. Bride? Groom? We're chopped liver compared to this goodness.

You might watch me steal a kiss or two with my Prince on the balcony of Buckingham Palace. Or maybe just on the dance floor. There could even be a few little girls around me already dreaming of their royal wedding.

You might be stressed out by the number of people at my wedding, but I can assure you you're not as stressed as me as the cost per head didn't come out of your wallet, but mine. However, I'll be thankful for each and every guest that decides to grace us with their presence. Even if it's millions.

Lastly, you might watch my prince whisk his princess away to some secluded island on the beach where we'll live happily ever after.

But you know, that would all only happen if, hypothetically, I was planning my wedding right now. And I'm not. So don't worry. And although I am a daughter of the King and will indeed have a royal wedding myself, it will probably only look slightly different from Princess Katherine's wedding.

But only slightly. We have similar tastes. And checkbooks.