Do It Scared

I know that by now you know that LIT was by far one of my favorite Bible Study’s. It wasn’t so much of a Bible Study as it was learning how to study the Bible and for this season of my life, I was so grateful for it. I learned so much, and even now as I go back through my binder of notes and homework, I am blown away by all I didn’t know (and still don’t know) and am just intrigued by the study of God’s Word. It is so fascinating! (Not to mention that it was a more intimate setting compared to normal Tuesday night Bible Study, so we were able to ask questions and be more involved. That was probably one of my favorite aspects!)

Each week we were given homework and to say that I ate it up and loved it is an understatement. I could have used more. However, they didn’t want the amount of homework to scare anybody away from the class or to discourage them from not coming if they didn’t finish and I completely understand and appreciate that.

The last few weeks Beth and Melissa gave us a bonus assignment. Our bonus assignment was to take all that we had learned, and all the tools we’d been given to go and study a passage on our own. There were a few specifics to the assignment, but the last part was to simply turn it into them on our last night of bible study. I was so excited! I immediately started on it and absolutely loved the process. After turning it in the last night, I sort of felt like I was back in school and had just turned in a final assignment, except this time, it was much more fun and interesting.

They told us that they would read them over and then get back to us with their thoughts.

To be completely honest, once LIT was over it was the start of all things hectic for the holiday season, so my life went on and it was crazy, nonetheless. I kind of forgot about the fact that they were going to read our papers and get back to us. It wasn’t in the forefront of my mind.

Mexico, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years all came and went and I found myself settled and back at church on Sunday night. (I go to HFBC on Sunday evenings because it is the place where I get fed. I absolutely love it and don’t know what I’d do if they got rid of the evening services. It blesses me immensely!)

Anyway, that Sunday evening Curtis Jones was preaching and I was excited because the only setting I’d heard him prior to that particular Sunday was at LIT when he was teaching us about how to study the bible and not teaching on a passage from it. He was hilarious in LIT so I knew he’d be great that night!

I got to church and got all settled next to sweet Nancy (whom I love sitting with, by the way) and then Beth came to sit with Amanda since Curtis was only preaching the evening service. I didn’t plan on saying hi, because she was busy talking to other folks. Well, after she gave Nancy a hug she walked straight to me.

My heart started beating a little faster because I wasn’t sure what she was about to say, but what she did say still brings me much encouragement and joy.

She looked right at me and pointed straight to my face and said, “Lindsee, your paper was absolutely incredible. I am not kidding.” She said she’d told Melissa twice that she thought I had a gift of teaching. So then she said, “I think you have the gift of teaching, do you have any inkling of that? Have you ever thought about that?” Of course I just nodded my head and said “Thank you so much!” over and over again and then told her that yes, I had thought about that. She encouraged me a bit more to use that gift, that I’d be hearing from them that week, and then we hugged and church started.

I was completely stunned. And absolutely humbled that she would ever think such a thing about me. Lil’ ole Lindsee Lou.

Not because it was Beth Moore that had just spoken a word of encouragement over my life, but because she is a woman that I highly esteem, respect, admire, appreciate and love dearly. Her bible study, Living Beyond Yourself, was the first study I had ever finished in my entire life as a freshman in college, and I grew up in church.

After the first time I saw her teach, all I knew is that if she could love Jesus like that, then I could certainly love Jesus like that. That’s why I could never wait to do my homework because it was then that when I opened the Word on my own, my Spirit bared witness. It came alive in me.

Not only that, but because my favorite woman bible study teacher who barely knows me, who doesn’t know my background or the fact that not only was I an education major studying to clearly be a teacher, that I was chaplain for a year in my sorority, or that I work in Girls’ Ministry now and teach the Word was telling me that I had the gift of teaching.

Only God, folks. Only God.

To me, it confirmed something huge. One way you’ll know your gifts is when the body expresses to you what they see in you, and realize it’s a gift. Needless to say, Beth isn’t the only one that’s told me that, but being the Godly woman she is that I aspire to be, I sincerely took it to heart.

I’m not saying I am going to be some fabulous bible study teacher. Not at all. I honestly have no idea what the Lord has planned for me in the area of ministry, but I know that it is something I not only enjoy doing, but time and time again people have expressed their encouragement in this way.

That next week I did get a little something in the mail from LPM. They sent everyone a “diploma” for graduating from LIT. It was so creative and fun! Inside the diploma were two personal notes, one from sweet Beth, and one from Melissa, whom I came to adore. I read them over and over again, and truly, will forever cherish their words. It was the sweetest blessing to say the least.

They reminded me again of the gift, and that I’d been given the Spirit without limit so to go do the thing in Jesus’ name. And, that He’ll do whatever it takes to keep me humble. They were the sweetest notes and I think it touched my heart even greater because they kept their promise in “getting back to us about our homework” and words are my primary love language.

The honest truth, however, is that as encouraging as those words were, and whatnot, to say that teaching scares me out of my ever livin’ mind is an understatement. Yes, I love doing it, but I throw up a little in my mouth before every time I’m about to do it. I mean, let’s get real, folks. I’m no scholar. And for goodness sake, I haven’t even sat through one seminary class.

But, then I am reminded that this is a process. A journey. I may not have ever done those things yet, but last I checked, I’m still breathing and I have a heartbeat. Meaning, He’s not done with me yet.

Earlier as I was organizing my notes from The Inheritance study and putting them all in a binder so that I wouldn’t loose them all or crinkle them all up by keeping them in my bible, I caught a quick glimpse of a quote Beth had said that I’d written down one night, it was simple yet so profound. It said:

“Do it scared.”

Frankly, we have no excuse. Whatever He is calling us to, whatever gifts we’ve been given, whether we’re throwing up in our mouth a little, shaking at the knees, turning our necks all red, or sweating at the palms, He’s called us to do it scared.

He’s promised to work it out through us, and if we are walking in the Spirit, eventually, our knees will quit knocking and we might make an iota of sense.

If we’re not using our gifts, or being obedient to Him, we’re not exercising or operating in the power within us that is the Holy Spirit. A power that is far bigger and greater than our measly selves. And, needless to say we may be missing out on being a blessing to someone or better yet, we may miss out on our promised land all together. All because of fear. How sad! (And I say that to myself, because fear is my constant struggle.)

Whatever it is He has called you to do, don’t fight Him on it. Do it scared. Even though you’re afraid you might fail Him. I promise, He will never fail you.

In Melissa’s words, “He knows it’s scary to be us.” Amen.

The safest place to be is completely and whole heartedly dependent on the Holy Spirit. And that is right where I want to be. Teaching or not.

Do it scared, folks.

Frightened, afraid, shook up and excited all at once. But remember, HE is greater in you. And He who began a good work in you will complete it. To His Great Glory!

An Awkward Moment

Earlier today, instead of having Bible Study with my small group girls, we decided to enjoy the awesome weather outside.

Not to windy + no humidity + 70 degree temps = perfect weather in Houston.

And when you have perfect weather in Houston, you take full advantage of the day given to you. Those perfect weather days are few and far between.

So, we decided to enjoy some custard at a neat little place called, Connie's Custard. I wish I could describe to you the goodness that is this place, but words don't do it justice. It is swell, smashing, satisfactory, acceptable, and any other synonym of "good" you can think of.

I was the first in line (Godly, I know!) because frankly, I don't have to stare at the menu for hours on end, I'm pretty much a regular there.

Anyway, I ordered and they promptly delivered my Almond Delight.

The Almond Delight consists of almonds, shaved chocolate chips and coconut all mixed in a creamy vanilla custard. However, I leave the coconut out.

After I ordered, I was walking over to a sunny spot to enjoy the splendidness (I just made that up) that was just handed to me when a lady stopped me and asked me what I ordered.

I told her what I ordered and then, in my caring, genuine self felt the need to assure her that it was amazing, but frankly, she wouldn't be disappointed in anything she ordered.

That's when she said to me, "Oh girl, I know. I've never gotten something here I didn't like. That's why I am the size I am."

Um, I just laughed and agreed that indeed, I too, have never ordered something from there I didn't like and then proceeded to the sunny spot summoning me.

But y'all, why do people feel the need to say those things to me? I could possibly be the most awkward person in situations like that.

Next time I am not going to be so nice so that I can avoid any more awkward moments.

At least it was a pretty day.

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Loneliness

I am not normally one who is prone to loneliness. I’ve always had a vast amount of friends and family that I am constantly surrounded by, and plus, my “schedule” is never really lacking, per say. Most times my day is filled from dawn to dusk with many different activities.

However, in the past year, after graduation, I have noticed that I have felt lonelier. I think a lot of it has to do with the transition I have been in. I know you’re thinking, “But Lindsee, it’s been almost a year that you’ve been done with school!” And while yes I know that, it has also been a year, if you know what I mean. In taking this job in ministry, that I never planned on doing, my life has been flipped upside down. Ministry, rather than teaching, is a whole different ball game. I have come to find out, that in some sense of the word, it can be a bit lonelier. Your time is spent pouring into different lives here and there, and your work schedule is a bit different than the normal nine to five. Henceforth, getting involved in other things is trickier. And being a sanguine, I need me some folks to be with. It’s just in my blood.

Please don’t hear me complaining about this at all, it’s just things I have observed and learned now that I almost have a year of ministry under my feet. And just for the record, if you haven’t realized by now, I love my job.

Another factor, I think, that contributes to this loneliness is the fact that I don’t know many girls my age that are single and in full time ministry. I am not saying they’re not out there, I just don’t know them. I do know plenty of people in ministry, they, however, have a family to tend to. So, their ministry even looks different than mine.

More than any of these reasons, though, the main reason for this loneliness, is because of the amount of time I spend filling my life with things that I think will satisfy, but ultimately, let me down, leaving me more lonely than before. I spend more time, honestly, chasing after things of this world that are so temporary, than I do chasing after the things of the Lord.

What are these things, you ask? Well, facebook, blogging, commenting, shopping, watching TV., working out, worrying about when and where I might meet my future husband, Girl's Ministry, my appearance, people pleasing, and a handful of countless other things.

Not one of the things I listed is bad, however, each of these things take away sweet time that I could be spending with the Lord, getting to know Him better, and I’ll never get that time back.

Blogging and facebook is certainly a community of social networkers, and to say that I have loved every moment of it is an understatement. And I don’t plan on quitting either of these things any time soon. But, blogging, facebook, and twittering (not that I twitter, but I don’t for a reason) should never replace real face-to-face community. That would be truly unhealthy.

When I spend time with my peeps, whomever they may be, I walk away full and encouraged. Sometimes, however, when I spend hours (and yes, it can be hours) on the social networking sites, I walk away empty. Certainly encouraged at times, but more so walk away with a sense of loneliness.

I’ve thought long and hard as to why this might be, and have searched my own, weary heart, and I’ve come to one conclusion. The conclusion is Hebrews 10:24-25, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

I have certainly, at times, been more prone to want to stay home and sit online to catch up on everybody’s life instead of going out with friends or family and meeting together with them. No, it’s not all I do, but I don’t want it to become a habit, because that is certainly what Satan wants us as the Day that Christ returns is drawing ever so close. We need each other now more than ever. We were made for people. But, I think we were made for people in a face-to-face relationship, and we cannot forfeit that because of all the networking we have going on. At least, I cannot forfeit it.

I have found that my loneliness is a direct result of how much time I spend on the internet doing “good” things, but things that never fill me up with His presence. Yes, I may get my fair share of facebook or blog comments, but those comments only last for so long leaving me feeling totally empty.

And while words are one of my primary love languages, the Lord is teaching me that His Words are the only ones that stand forever, nor will they return void. Hence why I feel a void after human words.

I have also found that while everything is certainly permissible, as Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6:12 and 10:23, not everything is beneficial. I have to evaluate in my life what is beneficial, and follow hard after those things. I can’t be mastered by anything but Jesus. I’m not saying at all that I have these things down, or am even practicing them every day, but I want to, I am trying to. (And while I may be taking that verse slightly out of context, I do believe I can still apply it in this way.)

The fact is, whatever we are longing for, we are going to chase after. I long for all manner of things and chase after them mindlessly. The reason I find myself “chasing after blogging” and other things of that nature is because in my sanguine self, I am so afraid I am going to miss out on something huge if I’m not constantly connected to the outside world. The honest truth, though, is that if I’m not constantly connected to the One who gives life and gives it to the fullest, John 10:10, that is when I am going to miss out on something huge. Only Jesus can give us the life we desire. Sometimes I think Satan has used blogging and facebook in my life to distract me from spending time with Him, thinking that those outlets will give me life, when really, he’s used it to steal, kill and destroy my life. Those things only leave me feeling emptier.

If I am going to follow Him, Mark 1:17, like He commands us to do instead of admire Him from afar like so many of us do, some things in my life have to change. I have to re-arrange my schedule. Not totally give up blogging and facebooking, but just change my priorities. And honestly, as much as I want to think I’ll be missing out if perhaps one day I go without the internet, I have to believe that to be a complete lie. I mean, to think that Beth Moore and I would become BFF because we’re “blog buddies” is completely crazy. Yes, I do love her, but we won’t become BFF because I’m a blog follower.

Only my Jesus can satisfy my every desire and the loneliness I feel in my heart even in a crowded room. I am tired of settling. Tired of the loneliness I feel. Tired of always wanting more, more, more because I’m not satisfied in Him. Tired of being distracted by boys and who I might marry. While I’m single, Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7:35, encourages me to live in “undivided devotion to the Lord.”

He has “set eternity in the hearts of men”, Ecclesiastes 3:11 tells us, and that eternity shaped hole, is only something He can fill. To His great Glory!

So, here I am, living in “undivided (or without distraction) devotion to the Lord.”

Lord Jesus, help me!

Spring Break Excitement

Even though I wasn’t technically on Spring Break, I did thoroughly enjoy the entire week. It was stress-free and relaxing to say the least.

I took the first half of the week off so I could enjoy a mini-vacation to San Antonio with the family. We left Monday and came back really late Wednesday night and stayed at the Marriott Rivercenter which is right on the River Walk. It was so nice! The nicest thing is that we literally had no schedule, so we did as we pleased. After getting there Monday, we met up with the Jones’ (aka, my boss) and had dinner with them at Iron Cactus. Since it was my first real meal of the day, I ate it up like there was no tomorrow. My chicken fajitas melted in my mouth! After dinner we just walked around, remembered The Alamo, and then made the trek through all the touristy Alamo Plaza Attractions. My favorite of all of those, you know, besides the beloved Alamo, were the Guinness World Records Museum and this crazy mirror maze and entrapment obstacle course. You bet your bottom dollar that Kevyn and I were the first to sign up for the mirror maze and entrapment course, and it did not disappoint. I felt like I was in the movie, Entrapment. I never said I exceeded at the course, but it was thrilling nonetheless.

Tuesday we slept in, ate breakfast at the ever so faithful Denny’s, and then while Mom and I laid by the pool for a couple of hours, Kevyn and Dad relaxed in the room and then did some other touristy things like visit the Menger Hotel/Bar that is century’s old. I was perfectly fine laying by the pool. That night we took it easy, then got ready and ate at Tony Roma’s. Sitting outside that night for dinner was such a treat and it was perfect. We truly could not have asked for more beautiful weather the whole week. It was especially nice because the week prior the weather was disgusting, cold and rainy. Once dinner settled, we took the boat ride on the River Walk. My parents told me I’ve ridden it, but at the age of three, I don’t remember anything. It was so interesting to hear more about the history of not on the River Walk, but also of San Antonio. After the boat ride we went to a restaurant in the hotel and had the tastiest, most richest dessert of all time. To say I indulged to my hearts delight is an understatement.

Wednesday we slept in some, than after I retrieved some Starbucks that was just in the lobby of my hotel, I joined the rest of the crew in the Concierge Lounge where we enjoyed a nice breakfast. My Dad is pretty much a rock star with Marriott because it is his home away from home. Literally. He travels more often than not! Later that afternoon we headed to Austin where my Dad met up with his friend and they played a quick show at the SXSW Festival. When that was over, later that night, we made the trek back to Houston. It made for a late night, but it was so worth it. Our mini-trip was fabulous!

Thursday and Friday I worked and the office was eerily quiet. Since most of my co-workers have little cherubs, they too took off for the week. As much as I don’t love a quiet, non-active office, it is a nice change every now and then.

That evening, Raven was actually in town at her sisters house for a few Wedding Showers, so I went over there and hung out with her for the night. It was so good to actually see her face! She is doing well, but still has some healing to do, and still hasn’t gone to any classes. Fortunately, Spring Break is this week, so she is off, but still. I heard the entire story about her accident and it is so scary, y’all. After the story I looked at the pictures of her car, and it is truly a miracle that she actually walked away from the accident. Praise the Lord she wasn’t hurt worse. However, I know she would still greatly appreciate your prayers as she heals! She still can’t do that much.

Friday I met up with sweet Sara for lunch, and it was such a fun treat. She is such a fine young lady and I just love her to pieces! (I love her Mama, too!) We had a scrumptious meal at the good ole’ Chick-Fil-A and just chatted it up. Normally I see her in passing or just a church for a few minutes, so it was good to be able to just talk with not interruptions or everybody scurrying around.

Today was a full day of many fun things. It started out this morning meeting Mr. Nate at a Baby Shower for Erica. If you don’t know her story, go check out her blog. Needless to say, the Lord has been faithful to her and her waiting and she is absolutely glowing as a new Mommy. I am tickled pink (or blue!) for her.

After the shower I met up with my Ft. Worth friend, Jennifer for lunch at Texas Roadhouse, where we were called “Se*y Ladies!” by our waitress more times than we wanted to hear. It was so weird and we were beyond tickled. Seeing my two Ft. Worth girls in a matter of 24 hours, warmed my heart.

On my way home from lunch, Jen called and wanted to know if I wanted to meet her at the hospital to meet Mr. Dean. Of course I did not object and headed right over there. Y’all, he is just the most perfect, handsome, tiny little boy that will surely break some hearts along the way. Holding him was the highlight of my day. To see pictures of this precious little thing, go visit Jaclyn’s blog! They’re home as of this evening, so now is when all of the fun and fun stories will start. I can't wait, especially with Miss Parker, the big sister!

I came home for a brief moment, only to freshen up and go to Sally’s for an open house they were having. They had folks over to talk about their time in North Africa and to tell the people what their plans are from here on out, which is attend Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky. I have the grand privilege in early April to make the 17 hour drive with Sal and the two boys to their new place. She and Jon are driving up separately, so they can have both cars, and frankly, Sally can’t make the drive on her own with a seven month old and a two year old, so I am helping. I love those boys like no other, so I am really excited! I am sure by the time I get back, I will have more stories than you will ever want to hear.

Needless to say, it has been a great week. And one with not much internet which has been great! I needed a good break. And goodness knows, y’all haven’t gone anywhere. I only had about 98 posts to catch up on once we got home Wednesday night. Y’all can tear it up in the blogging world!

If you made it to then end of this outrageously long post, bless you.

And on that note, enjoy entirely too many pictures of our delightful little trip.

The little family, minus Brien, whom we missed dearly!

Remembering the Alamo.


The tallest man in history, with the largest hands. I've never felt so short. (However, I've wondered all week if this man was taller than Goliath? I don't think he is, but I am no theologian.)

Seriously, read this for yourself!

So sad, but this is the World's Largest Waist. This man weighed about 1400 lbs.

The wax dinosaur. Scary. (And huge!)

One of the distorted mirrors. We have abnormally long torsos. (And do you see the Alamo so perfectly centered between our heads?!)

Now check out our abnormally long legs.

Here comes the hat experience.

I'm not too sure about this.

We even slept standing up!

And then got really tickled.

Our view from the 32nd floor. Anybody recognice that big building to the right? Good times.

At Tony Roma's during dinner.

This one's for good measure. Really, ya'll, what the stink is going on?!

Dad being Elf. (Because we're classy like that. Notice the people at the bottom didn't get on till we were off!)

Sin.

At SxSW!

315

So, what in the world does 315 mean? That would be the number of blog posts I have written. Craziness.

Really though, for the life of me I could not come up with a good title, so 315 seemed to work so that my brain didn't have to work! Random much?

Since my brain isn't working properly at the moment, and since it is also scattered all over the US of A, we are going to stick to a random, scattered post.

-This past Tuesday was our last night of Bible Study: The Inheritance. I am so sad it is already over! Talk about a quick semester. However, I don't want this to be just another bible study completed that I can check off my list, I want it to keep sinking in and change me. Truly. I want to be more intentional about engaging my mind and heart long after bible study is over and meditating and wrestling with what I've learned this semester. There are some meaty, deep things we learned and things that I don't even fully understand that I can chew on, and chew on I will. Speaking of Tuesday night, we had a sweet little visitor, a future heiress, Miss Annabeth! She was wearing the cutest little pink outfit with socks on that said "Future Heiress" on the bottom. Absolutely darling! It was a fun surprise and a perfect way to end the series.

-Last night I was looking at these pictures and was thinking about how badly I want to be here with all of you in October. I am seriously praying about it! I just think it would be so fun. And I don't think Abby or Shelly would object to me coming to Nashville prior to the event and hitching a ride with them. ;) We shall see, "imaginary" friends!

-I am not a math person. Not at all. Me and numbers have never been, nor will we ever be BFF. However, I spent all day Wednesday with my co-workers working on our budget. Y'all, it was exhausting. I am so thankful that we have an administration assistant who knows exactly what she's doing when it comes to budget. Yes, I am learning, but it is certainly not my gift. At all. But, while we were discussing our upcoming events and budget and whatnot, I got really excited about girls ministry. I mean, I always have been excited about it, but talking about it and preparing for it gets my heart so ready for a successful 2009 - 2010 year. In two months I will have a year of ministry under my feet, and I feel like next year I'll have a better understanding of what "my" girls ministry is supposed to look like. So, despite the number exhaustion after our all day meeting, I had a new outlook for my ministry come this fall. However, my main goal in ministry is that that girls would fall more in love with Jesus, know Him better, learn how to walk with Him and have an intimate relationship with Him on their own! That would be idea of a "successful" ministry. After all, is that not what ministry is all about? All in all, I am excited.

-This week, me and the girls started exchanging emails about "Girls Weeked '09!" Get excited. Whatever we do, or wherever we go, I know it will be wonderful. I am so ready to be with them for a good, long weekend! I just can't believe this will be our fourth one! That seems crazy to me.(And yes, weeked is spelled right!)

-Last night I was supposed to have my second Jr. High Girl's bible study, however, I figured it would be low in attendance because Spring Break officially started yesterday, so instead I took two of the girls to dinner. They chose Chilli's, so off we went! We had fun, and interestingly enough, our waiter was a guy who I went to elementary school with. At first, before we discussed we knew each other, the girls kept telling me that he was being so flirty. I told them that wasn't the case, but that we most likely knew each other. Sure enough, we did, but the girls still thought he was being way flirty. And that, my friends, is what I love about Jr. High girls, they think everyone has a love language of flirting and they can spot it at any moment. At one point during the dinner, they told me I did not know what I was talking about, that I was being naive to the fact that he was flirting. I just laughed! I will hold tight to the advice I get from the minds of two eighth grade girls forever and ever. (And just for the record, before you think I was being naive, homedude has a girlfriend. He was just being nice and totally scored brownie points with them when he gave them each a free chocolate shake as we were leaving!)

-I did not got to Jazzercise once this week. Nope! Not once. I am such a bad girl. Or maybe it just had to do with the fact that I had something every night of the week. I did miss it, though!

-You'll be happy to know that come Monday morning, me and the fam are packing up up and heading to San Antonio for a few days. I am so excited and so ready to do nothing! My goal is to lay by the pool as much as I can, and of course, get a little shopping in. The one thing I miss about being a teacher is the breaks, so I am so grateful for the few days that I am getting to take off next week. It's like a mini spring break, and we all know that is better than nothing. Plus, I have this really cute top I just got at Ann Taylor Loft for $9 and it is the perfect "River Walk" top, so I am really hoping I get to wear it for a night out on the town! And by that I mean eating dinner at a cute restaurant with the peeps. Either way, I am thrilled to be getting away for a few days! (And, don't think for one minute I won't be thinking about all of you Siestas!)

I know there are ten million other things I could bore you with, but I will refrain because it is late and I have to be up early!

Happy Spring Break, folks!

From Ken to God's Own Heart

Back in the day, like sometime during high school, I read the book, And the Bride Wore White. It was a good book, if I do say so myself, and there are still parts of it that I remember and think of quite often.

The book in particular has come up in recent conversations because Dannah Gresh, the author of that book, is the co-author of the book, The Lies Young Women Believe. Needless to say, she is a great communicator to the younger generation of girls, and for that, I appreciate her very much. Her books are great tools for my job that I so love to pieces!

One of the conversations that recently took place was about a chapter in the book that Dannah has you compile of a list of the things you want and look for in a future husband. Because I am a natural teachers pet due to my nature of people pleasing, I completed the list with great joy. Oh yes I did! And I'll be quite honest and tell you that I still have that list. Of course, that list has changed over the years, and rightfully so. I mean, most of my list consisted of the outward appearance and things I thought would be deal breakers if the man of my dreams did not have it.

Like for instance, playing the guitar or singing was on the top of that list, and while I would love it if my future husband could do either or one of these things, it's no longer a priority. Quite frankly, if the man in my future does not have these capabilities, I'm not going to be a runaway bride.

That is just one of the silly things I remember, but I am sure there are plenty on that list now that are flat our ridiculous and shallow and could be scratched off. I am almost positive that my first list of a man does not even exist. I mean, in no way, shape or form am I going to lower my standards, but that first list was probably more like Ken (of Barbie and Ken) and we all know Ken is perfect, and well, there is not one perfect man. There may be one perfect man for me, but he won't be perfect, either. I know, I had to burst my own bubble.

However, the other day as I was praying for my man, whoever and wherever he may be, I prayed that he would be a man after God's own heart.

And that's when it hit me. That's all I want. That is my list.

The only thing I want is a man after God's own heart.

Because really, if that is true of his life, everything else will fall into place.

(Insert honest statement here: Just for the record, there is still so much of the shallowness of me that wants a hunk of a man to come sweep me off my feet. A tall, dark, handsome knight and shining armor with a fabulous resume'. However, I love that as we mature in Christ, the Lord works on our shallow heart to make us want the things of Him. Of course, what girl wouldn't want that kind of man?)

Just like David was a man after God's own heart (1 Samuel 13:14, Acts 13:22), I want my man to be the same thing. I simply want him to desire the things of God. We all no David wasn't without sin, but he sure was a man that was faithful to the Lord and gave Him much praise. Oh, to have a man like that.

But you know what? If that is what I desire in my man, I best be having the same heart attitude. Who said I can't have a heart after God's own heart? It means that I too need to start desiring the things of God. Because it is then, that if and when I marry the man God has for me, that we can serve the Lord better together than apart.

And that, my sweet friends, is my ultimate desire. My ultimate list.

Not only a man after God's own heart, but that our hearts would love and serve Him far better together, than if we were apart.

Totally Smitten

Welcome to the new and improved Lindsee Lou!

If you are on any type of blog reader, seriously come check out the new design. I know I've stressed over this a gazillion times and told you to come look, but you don't want to miss out on this one. In my opinion, it is absolutely precious!

I honestly have not a fat clue how I ran across this website that is majorly cute blog designs, but somehow I did and proceeded to mess around with every free option there was. And y'all, there are some very cute free options.

As I was being my indecisive self, I kept browsing the website and found some even more fun backgrounds for $5. I can totally do $5 and not stress about it at all. So, I bought me a $5 design and installed it all by my lonesome. And it worked!

I even redesigned the Lily Blog, too. That background, however, was free. But isn't it just delightful?

Unfortunately, I lost all my "imaginary friends" list which makes me sad, but I will work on it tonight and a few other things and will get it all back up and running. I mean, what would I do without my imaginary friends?

If I were you and wanting a new and improved look, I would head over to Smitten Blog Design Gallery and see what they have to offer you. I know you will not be disappointed.

Hope you are all having a wonderful Monday, and thank you, thank you for your sweet comments and prayers for my precious Raven. I am sending them all her way!

I love y'all, my favorite blog peeps.

Lindsee

Urgent Prayer Requests

Today was going along all chipper until I got some not so fun news. Yet again, I know that this crazy blog world is a praying community, so I am asking that you would take a second to lift up
these two things.

1) After lunch today I got out my phone to see that I had a few missed calls from my friend, Jen, one of my BFF's from college. She called to tell me that one of my other BFF's from school, Raven, was in a serious accident last night. Of course at first my heart dropped to my toes because that is never a message you want to hear on your voicemail, however, she is okay. A man who was driving crazily, spun out of control, leaving Raven to t-bone them head on, on a small highway outside of Fort Worth. She does have a broken clavicle bone, a fractured sternum and a very little punctured lung, which she was put on oxygen for, but I just got off the phone with Jen and supposedly the lung healed on it's own last night and hopefully Raven will be released tonight to go home. She is just waiting for the surgeon to come give her any more news an tell her the next steps.

The craziest thing is that I had literally just talked to Raven while she was on her way home, and inevitably, the last thing I said to her was to be safe! Those words have much more meaning now. I always mean it, but it is always said more casually because I would hate to think if anything awful did happen. The other car had a five month pregnant lady in it who is in critical condition, so please pray for her, too. Fortunately, the accident was not Raven's fault, so everything should be taken care of for her. Raven is one of those girls that sits really far away from the wheel, and we always joke about it, but according to the police, it is what saved her life! Scary. So, if you could pray for a quick healing for her and the others involved and that everything, mainly the insurance messes, and all those other details would be taken care of quickly, I know she would greatly appreciate it.

As if that isn't all enough, her Grandma died this past Monday from different bouts of sickness, so she has been driving back and forth all week. And her sister is getting married next month in which she is the Maid of Honor and we are now hoping she won't be in a cast. Also, our homegirl is in her second year of seminary and has much to do for that and really doesn't have time to "take a break." So, needless to say she has a lot on her plate and I know would covet your prayers.

I feel so helpless since she is in Fort Worth and I am in Houston, so I figure the best way for me to help is to pray and ask for prayer. Thank you so, so much.

2) Secondly, this has nothing to do with me personally, but you may or may not have heard about the Senior Pastor of First Baptist Church of Maryville, Illinois that was shot and killed this morning during the 8:15 service. Instead of me giving all the details, go here to read the whole story. It is absolutely devastating and I can't even imagine what his family or the church is going through. I know fear is the first thing that struck me. I immediately had to pray because I will entertain my mind with all manner of scenarios that could happen following this one. I'll even talk myself out of going to church! However, I can't live in a constant state of fear, nor can you. I have to take every thought captive. The sad part is that we do live in a sinful, imperfect world and no day is a guarantee. Please pray for all that were involved in this. Especially his family, each person that had to witness this, and the whole church congregation.

Thanks a million, y'all!

Lindsee

This and That

I just yawned the biggest yawn ever because I am pretty sure my Jazzercise instructor tonight was out to kill us all. It was brutal and I am now exhausted! Not to mention the fact that I helped my sweet Claire move every piece of clothing and beyond from one house to another today. That girl has got some clothes, y'all. I feel as though clothes are the biggest booger to move! I mean, it takes forever. And of course because we decided to do this today, it had to be the hottest day of the week. Welcome, March!

Speaking of Claire, she and her hubby bought a house! They closed on Monday and were handed the keys. I took them lunch on Monday and got the grand tour, which was absolutely so much fun. During that grand tour, I felt so old! I mean really y'all, these people are my age. Are we really at the age that we can buy houses and cars and it's all normal? I just don't feel right about it. We're growing up! Their house, on the other hand, is just perfect and darling. And needless to say, they are so excited! After having moved about three times in the past six months (because of military commitments) they appreciate and are very ready to get settled in their new home!

As I walked out to my car today to meet Claire, I got to see first hand that we have indeed welcomed Spring in Houston, TX because of the layer of yellow on my car. Oh, how I despise thee, pollen-that-makes-my-eyes-water-and-nose-raw. Please don't stay for long! You come during the prettiest season in Houston and ruin it for all of us. I am feeling your affects right now as I type this!

Also in random news tonight, I, yet again, am playing around with new blog designs. I keep going back and forth as to whether or not I just want to pay for a really cute, custom one. I mean, I really do love all the custom designs out there, but do I really want to spend money on it? I just have no idea. What are your thoughts? I know many of you out there have done this, and I am wondering if it was worth it to you?

So, I am reading the book How to Get a Date Worth Keeping, and y'all, I am loving it. To be completely honest, I have almost finished the entire thing! I feel like Dr. Henry Cloud sat down and interviewed me about my love life, or lack thereof, and wrote the book based off of my honest answers. Homedude seriously knows what he is talking about. Well, I guess the true test of that last line is if my dating life picks up here soon, but still, he has some very true points. Between the author genius behind this book, my "matchmaker" pastor Mr. Dave Gibson, and my in house"counselor" Greg, I should be dating in no time flat. (All said in a sarcasm, witty tone.)

I am interrupting the randomness that is me tonight to take a quick shower. I am so gross right now. So gross that each of you should be thrilled you are reading this from behind a computer screen that is not anywhere near me.

Okay, I feel much better now.

While we're on the love topic, I honest to goodness am numb to The Bachelor. I don't know what to think about it, or Jason, so I'll just leave it alone. However, before I leave it alone, I need y'all to know that I am excited for May 18th. This is sick y'all. Sick, sick, sick that I feel the need to put myself through this misery again. Or watch Jillian put herself through it. But, I'm hooked.

You know what else I'm hooked on? Babies. They're simply everywhere! In fact, you need to go see Ronda's Twinkies and Erica's new little boy as of tonight. Both of these ladies are examples of God's absolute faithfulness and provision and nothing short of a Godly example to me in how to play "the waiting game." I could not be more excited for them nor can I wait to see how the Lord continues to show His faithfulness to them as they learn to be new Mommies! Have I mentioned yet that they are BFF's? Oh yes, yes they are. Seriously, go read about each of their journeys at their blog. Glory to Him!

Well, I'm not sure how I went from Jazzercise, to moving, to blogs, to love and to babies, but somehow I did and now I will put you out of your misery by publishing this post, and putting my computer away so I can get some shut-eye with my wet hair. Is that weird? I'm not one to take showers at night, but when I do I feel like I can't get in bed quick enough with my wet hair. I love nothing more than sleeping with wet hair, especially in the summer. (I know, it's not even summer yet, but it sure feel like it. Especially since I got a VBS email yesterday. Oh, VBS!)

But, before I go, I need to ask you a personal question. As you all know, I just took a shower. After my shower I was doing my nightly routine but realized that after every shower (every morning), I always put deodorant on first thing. If I don't, I'll forget. So, because of my routine issues, I put deodorant on tonight. Tonight, y'all. Right before I'm getting in bed. Is that even necessary? Please humor me and tell me you do the exact same thing. I think I am so weird. And OCD.

At least I know I'll be so fresh and so clean, clean when I get up in the morning.

Me and Degree: Pure Rain are over and out.

Real Beauty

I just posted this on my 'Lily Among the Thorns' blog which is for my Girl's Ministry, however, I thought it was very appropriate to share it here, too. Because frankly, no matter how old we are, we will always struggle with our outer appearance. It you don't read anything here, at least take a minute to watch the video below and visit the two links. I hope you are blessed!

I know a lot of our 2:42 groups are going through the Bible Study: The Lies Young Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. My group (which is the Junior Girls) is going through it also and personally, it is kicking me in the rear. It has been just as good for me to hear as it has been for those girls! What has been so intriguing is that many of these lies we are discussing are lies that are not so obvious and that really bog us down. As hard as it is to do the bible study and realize that you have fallen victim to these oh, so subtle lies, it is rewarding to, in return, to replace those lies with the truth of God's Word.

Yes, it is much easier said than done, but our minds are being renewed slowly, and frankly, Satan hates it.

One of the last lies we discussed was that beautiful girls are worth more. At first I struggled with this lie, because honestly, I know that is not true. I know it is inward beauty that matters. However, I really searched my heart and thought about it, and of course I believe that lie! The reason I struggled with it is because I am not one that has pictures of models taped all over my walls, nor do I read magazine after magazine, or even watch any of the model shows that are all over T.V.

So, what is feeding this lie?

That would be me, myself and I. I don't do any of the things listed above, but I do compare myself to every other girl out there. Who is prettier, has better hair, better skin, a better body, you name it, I compare it! And then to add to that, I see any one of these said girls with their prince charming and immediately my thought is, well of course they have a boy, they're drop dead gorgeous! And that is when I feed the lie, because it is then that I believe that I am not.

The truth is, however, is that 'the King is enthralled by my beauty' (Psalm 45:11) and who am I to compare myself to anybody else?

In all reality, I don't want anybody to like or love me for my looks, especially a boy, but more importantly because of my heart and that Christ would truly shine through me. That I would radiate a light that can only come from Him.

To love and accept somebody merely for their physical appearance is by far one of the most shallow things to do in life. And not only shallow, but it is a sin according to God's Word, check out James 2.

I want to be a person that not only attracts people because of the light of Jesus Christ living in me, but I want to be attracted to those people, too. And, in my short twenty-three years of living, I can name a handful of people that have truly shined the light of Christ. It's just so inviting, and unmistakable. It is contagious!

That is what I was taught from that lie. To no longer compare myself with every pretty girl in the universe, but to truly strive to have that beauty flowing out of me despite what I may or may not look like.

You may be the girl that has posters all over her room and wished you looked just like said poster. My encouragement to you is to take it all down, and start replacing it with truth. The longer you look at those posters, the more you will be disappointed. Our God is a redeeming God and He can redeem your mind! And sister, I pray that you let Him. It doesn't happen overnight (not that it can't!) but it takes patience, perseverance and some serious time in the Word and in prayer.

With that said, I want to share with you three things that are mind boggling to me. We all know that photo shop is our friend and that it can do magical things in pictures but, I am here to tell you that photo shop is every models best friend. It truly does wonders!

Check out this website and this website to see the touch-ups that have occurred to produce the perfect girl you feel that you need to become. Sometimes I want to scream when I see these things because of what it is doing to each of our minds. It's all fake!

I'll be honest with you and tell you that as I have refreshed these websites time and time again the past few days, I've had a weight taken off me (no pun intended!) and burden that has been lifted that I no longer need to have the perfect hair, perfect teeth, or perfect body. There is no such thing as perfect! Praise the Lord that the one true perfect thing, if we are in Christ, resides in us.

Thirdly, take one minute, literally, to watch this clip that Dove produced. I do love Dove and their campaign for Real Beauty! Keep it up, Dove!



And lastly, I pray that each of you, myself included, would honestly start replacing each of these lies with Truth and that you would be the kind of girl that is so inviting because of your pure heart and love for Jesus. Let His face shine upon you, sister!

Love,
Lindsee

Meet Logan

Living in Houston I am blessed to have a wonderful Christian radio station that I absolutely love. I wasn't always a fan of KSBJ back in the day (throughout high school) because frankly, I thought it was lame and I just wasn't into all that "Christian" music. Well, the Lord really stared to convict me about what I was putting in my mind, including the music I listened to, even if it wasn't all that bad.

So, around my Senior year of high school I started listening to just KSBJ and to just Christian music. You'd be shocked to hear that it really did make a difference in my thoughts and just my mind in general.

I still to this day listen to KSBJ all the time and even though I may here a song ten times in one day, I don't complain. I have an iPod full of other encouraging music that they don't even play on KSBJ (like Kari Jobe, Shane & Shane, Jeff Johnson, Jimmy Needham and MANY others) that I can whip out at any moment, and a lot of times I do. However, the DJ's are part of the reason I continue to listen because they are very encouraging and quite hilarious, like um, Susan O' Donnell who cracks me up every morning.

What is so neat is that you can also listen to KSBJ anywhere in the U.S. You can either listen online at their website or through a program called Sky Angel. I know for a fact that my BFF, Joanna, who now lives in Montana does this!

With that said, my Mom sent me a link to this video that you HAVE to watch. It is a two minute clip about a little boy who called into KSBJ from Nebraska a few years ago. It is the sweetest thing I think I have ever heard and it will bless you dearly. The Lord is truly up to something in this little boy's life and it is so obvious.

Take comfort in knowing that our God knows what it's like to be us. He loves you so!