I've Rejected Not One

As me and Jen loaded into sweet Karen’s car the Sunday morning we left Atlanta to come back to Houston, the topic of dating came up. To my surprise it was the first time dating came up the entire weekend and that thrilled me to no end. We were having far too much fun to dwell on the topic of any boy! I think her question was something to the effect of, So, are you dating anyone? or Are there any prospective boys in your life? And while part of me would have loved to have gone off in full detail about the amazing man the Lord had provided for me, I answered with a simple, Nope!

I wasn’t sure how much she knew about my story, so I went ahead and told her that I’d never dated anybody nor had I ever had a boyfriend. Karen is one of the most genuine; Jesus loving ladies you’ll ever meet and her response back to me was about what a neat testimony that was to the girls the Lord has allowed me to serve.

I completely agreed because more often than not, I’m able to encourage the girls when they think their life has gone to shreds because they either don’t have a boyfriend, or they’ve just been broken up with. I never want to dismiss their feelings, but I also want them to know that life is so much more than the boy next door. Plus, the fact that I’m living, breathing and thriving in life gives them a peace that they too will be okay even if it stinks at that moment. And that in all circumstances, God is still good, not because of what He does, but because of who He is. If that’s not a testimony for teenage girls, I’m not sure what is.

What Karen asked next is what I get asked often and which makes complete sense. She asked if I’d dated (as in gone on dates with different guys) and then just never pursued any of the guys further. My answer, yet again, was no. I’d not been on one date. I’d not even been asked on a date.

This exact question came up in my Q&A post in which Jenna asked, My question is such: is your 'never being kissed/taken on a date/no relationship’ due to choice or due to just never feeling like it was 'time'? (I suppose the latter would be choice as well.) In other words, have you rejected a lot?

Have I rejected a lot? I’ve rejected none.

Let me just say that if I stopped right there, and took a good look at my dating circumstances, I could get so depressed. What girl doesn’t want to be pursued? Asked on a date? Taken to a fancy restaurant? Hugged (or kissed, yes kissed) goodnight? It’s every girls dream to be swept away by her prince charming. Every. Single. Girl. Whether they admit it or not.

Let me also set the record straight that I’m not against dating whatsoever. I didn’t make some rule for myself when I was 10 that I wouldn’t date until I was 25. Nor did I make a rule that I wouldn’t date anybody except my husband. It’s just turned out that way. When people ask if I’ve ever been interested in anybody, I want to laugh. If you’ve been around me more than one hour, you probably know I’ve had multiple crushes at multiple times. I’m a girl. I like boys. Enough said.

However, the truth of the matter is, it just hasn’t happened for me. Am I depressed about that? Well, no. Yes, I’m sure the Lord’s holding a bottle of boy cried tears, and lonely tears here and there, but it doesn’t keep me down and out in the mornings. Do I know why it hasn’t happened? If I did, I could maybe tell you why the sky was blue, too.

What’s more clear to me now more than ever is that the Lord, for a reason only He knows, has guarded my heart and emotions from any boy. From my perspective, they’re just not interested in me. (That was really weird for me to type, but let me help you understand a little further why I say that.)

For instance, in the past year or so about three different people have tried to set me up with one of their single friends. Listen, I’m not against blind dates, nor am I against being set up. It’s been people that I trust and know and they know me, so why not? I’ve learned that sometimes your friends know more what you need than you do. It went as far as giving them my number, email, facebook, and so on. Pretty much any avenue they could get a hold of me, they'd been given. What came of it? Nothing.

I even met one of the guys at a party that a church here hosted. We chatted, talked, you know did the whole nice to meet you thing and that was it. If I said I wasn’t a little disappointed after that I’d be lying. Of course I was a tad upset, I’m human and I’m a girl. But it didn’t break me. The last thing I want to do is run some guy ragged myself just so he’ll ask me on a date. No ma’am.

One of the guys was all for meeting me, then a few weeks after he’d been given my number and information, he decided he wasn’t ready to be in the dating scene.

Do you see the pattern? They’re just not interested.

I don’t tell you this to gain any sympathy or to even have a pity party. I’m so over pity parties. (Until my next one creeps up on me!) What I do want you to know is that those boys not pursuing me is not a reflection of me whatsoever. It’s not because I’m fat, or ugly, or don’t dress cute enough, or am not outgoing enough, or am not godly enough, or whatever reason we girls can come up with. I truly believe it is the Lord keeping them from me and protecting my heart from them.

I don’t know why He’s chosen to protect my heart for so long. I do know that it’s His grace in my life. I do know He alone has spared me from many broken hearts. I do know that He is building in me something beautiful. I do know that He is sanctifying me through and through and molding me into the woman I am to be one day to my future husband. However future that may be. I do know that marriage is a legitimate desire of my heart that I believe He’s placed there and that He will be faithful.

I know that I have rejected not one date, nor has the Lord ever rejected me, my heart, or my desires. And He won't reject yours, either.