Fifteen

A few weeks ago I went to a Taylor Swift concert here in Houston. I was given tickets at the very last minute so my roommate and I ran out the door and had an unexpected fun night out.

Do I think she’s a doll? Yes, I do. Do I think she’s a bit dramatic? Yes, I do. (I would have never thought that had I not gone to the concert, but the way she talked to her audience was quite humorous and very dramatic. For instance, she kept telling us how incredible and beautiful we were. I just laughed.) Do I think she’s a good role model for the little girls that are falling all over her? Yes, I do. She has a good head on her shoulders and thus far, her walk has matched up with her talk. She’s not gone crazy. I’m praying she stays grounded. You laugh, but I’m serious. Someone needs to say sane! And I say that in the most gracious way. She has a national platform and to see it destroyed would sadden me.

Before the concert I think I owned five of her songs. I knew most of her songs but that was mainly because she gets a lot of airtime on the radio. What I didn’t know, though, were a lot of the lyrics.

Are any of you like me? You think you know the lyrics to a certain song then you look them up and realize you were completely off base? That’s my life. I’m constantly making a fool out of myself in the lyrics department.

After the concert I ended up buying a few more songs that I thought were fun and also decided to look up some of the lyrics. I knew I was singing the wrong words and wanted to fix that. Yes, I annoy my own self.

Taylor has a cute song called “Fifteen”, and it’s all about a girl experiencing her freshman year of high school. She talks about the highs and lows that girls would typically experience.

After lacing themes of friends, first dates, first kisses and breakups throughout each verse, she begins each chorus by singing, “Cause when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you’re gonna believe them…”

Taylor is right, is she not? If a fifteen-year-old girl heard the words I love you from a hunk of a boy, she’s going to believe him, no doubt. Those of us a few years ahead of that game know it will probably end in heartache (although those of us hopeless romantics would love to believe they end up as married high school sweethearts), but in the moment, that fifteen year old girl will be floating on cloud nine and will undoubtedly drown out every other voice that tries to whisper otherwise.

But what about the girl that never hears the words I love you from a boy? What if she never hears them period? From anyone?

What if I changed the lyrics of the chorus to “Cause when you’re fifteen and nobody tell you they love you, you’re gonna believe them…”

Our present day culture speaks a lot to the girls that have that heartache and breakup, but I think we forget the girls that never experience that. What about them? What about the girl that spends all four years of her high school career waiting for that special moment and doesn’t get it? Or better yet, all four years of her college career and doesn’t get it? Emotionally, this could be just as detrimental.

As time goes on, if you’re not grounded in Christ’s love, you’re belief system will become that of, “I’m not lovable.”

Since I happen to know that hearing I love you in high school from a boy isn't the end all be all, and I certainly don't advocate it, I'm not naive to the fact that, whether we choose to believe it or not, those words are being tossed around on a daily basis by students everywhere. In fact, they're being tossed around carelessly by a lot of people. Those words hold a lot of weight and attachment with them.

I happen to be in the latter category. I was not the girl that experienced breakup after breakup. I lived vicariously through a lot of my friends that did experience that, which taught me a lot, but that wasn’t me.

To be very honest, it is so easy for me to write my own words to that song, and even at 26, believe that I am unlovable. If I am 26 and have yet to be chosen and heard those sweet words, am I unlovable? I know that is far from the truth, but Satan himself likes to feed that lie most consistently to me.

What I know now is that no human man can ever out-love Jesus. No human man can tell me I love you more than Jesus whispers and satisfies me with His love. But I have to believe that and claim that. That is the tricky part, transferring that knowledge from my head to my heart. No man will ever know me greater than Jesus does and yet love me just the same.

But, I am old enough to know that doesn’t always take away the sting of desiring that human love. In fact, I might argue that the older you get, if the Lord has placed that desire in your heart, the more it stings. Is it wrong to desire that? Is it wrong to desire marriage? Not at all, unless it becomes a stronghold or idol in your life, lest we forget, the Lord ordained marriage and said it was a good thing. However, as we mature and become more like Christ, my prayer is that we would let the Lord tend to that sting and replace it with joy. That is the beauty of getting older; you know how to tend to that sting when it rises up in you.

Believing and leaning into truth means believing that you are loved by the one who knows you the best and loves you the most. It means that there is redemption, healing and hope for the girl who has given everything away and left with a broken heart. That the Lord still desires His best for you. And for the girl who has yet to experience the butterflies, it means there is hope for you, too, and for whatever reason, the Lord has protected you thus far. He is most definitely not holding out on you. Be thankful for that.

Believing the truth means that you are wise enough not to jump at the first chance you have to marry the first guy that asks you on a date out of your fear of being alone. There may be a few good (and bad), dates here and there, but that doesn’t mean you have to marry any of them. Not every single guy you lay your eyes on will be your future husband. Give yourself the freedom to get to know them as a friend without the pressure of trying to win them over so you can be their wife one day. We all do it out of insecurity and fear, do we not? The minute I see a single guy as a potential future husband, is the minute I clam up and don’t act like myself. By setting that aside and shifting our thinking, it’s amazing how the chains fall off and the pressure decreases.

At then end of the day, although culture and media will tell you otherwise, your identity is still found in Christ alone, not in whom you’ve dated or whom you haven’t. You’ll do greater things than date the quarterback of the football team. Praise the Lord.

And for the record, you are dearly loved. And so am I.

“The LORD appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.” Jeremiah 31:3