Fast and Furious Investment

I know it comes as no shock to anybody that my summer has been nothing short of fast and furious. I sure feel like the world traveler, and although I'm not, I'm certain I've lived out of a suitcase more than I've lived in the comfort of my own home (and bed) for the past two months. It's pretty much how youth ministry works in the summer. (If I was brave, I'd take a picture of my room so you can see the three different suitcases sitting in it. Theme of my summer, pack, unpack, wash clothes pack, unpack, wash clothes and so on and so forth. But, I'll spare you the gory details.)

However, before I left on all of my excursions this summer, the number one thing I was excited about was building stronger relationships with some of the girls. During the school year it is so much harder to invest in the girls than I imagined because, believe it or not, our youth are insanely busy. They roam around to and fro looking to devour anything school or extra curricular, so we're lucky if we can hug their necks at church and small group, let alone find one on one time with them. (Don't get me wrong, it happens, it's just few and far between.)

So, you get girls in a condo, on a bus, or on a plane, and you're golden. The conversations are endless, they have no time limits, people start opening up and voila, deeper relationships start blooming. I so cherish it. (I like to call it fast and furious investment, but you do get some mighty fine quality time.)

And that, my sweet friends, is exactly what has been happening this summer. It has been the sweetest thing, and my expectations were actually met. Despite my craziness and my exhausted self, I would not trade any trip for anything, given the fact that I have made some special memories with my girls. I've been able to invest in them, and they in me, and it is a neat thing indeed.

But, nothing has stood out more than a particular moment back in Mexico this past week. We were traveling all across Mexico, of course on a bus, and I happen to be sitting next to one of those special girls and we were just chatting about life. The funny thing is, I don't just get to hear all of their life junk, they get to hear mine, too. Bless their hearts! I'm not sure they love it, but a relationship takes two to tango, so I feel it's only necessary. Plus, those girls can ask some questions.

Anyway, back to the bus. Somehow in the midst of our conversation, this particular girl proceeded to tell me that she had written about me for her SAT essay. I'm not sure I acted stunned, but I most definitely was. I asked her what the essay was supposed to be about and she told me they were instructed to write about somebody who had surprised them most, been real with them, most impacted them and they looked up to. Y'all, really? She chose me? I was floored. And completely humbled.

The truth is, so often I wonder if I am having any impact whatsoever on these girls that I serve. I wonder if I am truly living a life that honors and glorifies Christ. Sometimes I feel like I am not getting through one iota. Or that I am the most pitiful person the Lord could have picked to do this job because my relationship and walk with Him is so far from perfect and all together. I question whether I really am doing what the Lord has called me to do. But, in that sweet moment the Lord confirmed, yet again, that I am exactly where the Lord has me. That He has called me to do be in this ministry for such a time as this, and whether I ever see the fruit of it or not, my job is to invest and love on these girls no matter what. To serve Him faithfully by loving and serving them.

He was so sweet to send that bit of encouragement my way. To love on this tired soul that way, and to revive that spark of ministry again in my life.

Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with my job. Overwhelmed with pressure, stress, anxiety, fear, joy and so many other things. But, I truly would not trade this job, or these girls, for anything in the entire world. They are my joy! And the Lord has given me (and is giving me) everything I need to be able to do the things I do. Without Him, this job would be impossible. But I am so thankful, and feel so privileged, that He has chosen me to love these girls and to serve them with everything I have. It is such a blast! Even if it means suffering from Montezuma's Revenge for a week. Every stomach ache is worth it. (I mean hey, it's totally a bonding moment since a lot of them came home with it, too!)

I'm not saying I'm the perfect girl for this job. Or that I love every girl perfectly. Or that I know how to build relationships perfectly. Or that I pray for them and encourage them perfectly. I'm far, far from it. But He's guiding me and I am thrilled and honored to be along for the ride.

If I had to write my SAT essay all over again (and Praise our sweet Jesus I don't) I'm pretty sure I'd write about how each of these girls has impacted my life, and made me who I am today. They have no clue how much they've ministered to me and my life. No clue. They have no clue how much the Lord has used them as an instrument to sanctify me. It's unreal.

Lord, thank you times a million for using my imperfect life for your perfect glory to serve and love these girls. Show me how to love each and every one of them just like you do! Help me to accept them for who they are and where they are. Lord, teach me how to truly invest in them, that they might want to know and love you more, even when I'm tired and weary. I'm not sure why you chose lil' ole me to do such a thing, but I receive and accept your grace to do this for your namesake! I pray I get to do it forever. I love you, Lord!