We all long to be the chosen one. Whether it be chosen for a team, chosen for a solo, chosen for a job, chosen to be a mother, chosen to be a wife, and the list goes one.
There is something about being chosen that makes us feel special. Feel loved. Feel accepted. The problem is, in this life we won't always be the chosen one. Teams will disappoint us, people will disappoint us. Life won't always go as planned, and most times it won't go as we want it, either.
In my life right now, in complete honesty, I long to be the one that HE chooses. And by that I mean my future husband, whoever that may be.
Some days I am completely content and feel absolutely blessed by the life I have been given, then other days I feel completely discontent. I want more. I want this life, or that life.
Why couldn't he have pursued me? Why a different girl? What is wrong with me? Why didn't he CHOOSE me?
As an almost 23 year old girl who has never been kissed, or better yet never even been on a date, these questions run through my head. No, not constantly, but the days that I am discontent, this is what, if you peered into my mind, you would see. These are the days I am most mad at myself. Why does my mind think like that? Well one, I am a girl and two, I have a longing to married.
But really, the reason is because those are the days I forget that the ultimate One that matters, Jesus Christ, has CHOSEN me. He has accepted me. Shouldn't that be enough? I am His treasured possession. Therefore, I am a treasure.
"For you are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession." Deuteronomy 7:6
"I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, 'You are my servant'; I have chosen you and have not rejected you." Isaiah 41:9
"Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen one in whom I delight..." Isaiah 42:1
So why is it after I hear that they have chosen someone else do I still throw a pity party for myself? I am human and I am not letting myself be filled with the holy spirit. Period. HE is the ONLY thing that will fill that void that I am missing. HE is the only 'thing' that will make my life content.
The honest truth is, contentment doesn't come because of circumstances. Contentment is something that continually has to be practiced and learned, it's not a natural human feeling, because as humans we always want more. But, as Christians, in Christ, we have a hope. Yes, I can say that most times I am a pretty content person. I thoroughly enjoy that life Christ has blessed me with. But at times I just want more, or just want to be that chosen one. This is something that I have been wrestling with all week. These weeks come and go.
Sometimes my desire to meet my future husband, or even go on a date, for that matter are more than others. This is one of those weeks. I have been, more so, discontent.
I am not writing all this for a pity party at all. I am simply writing this for myself. It is a reminder to me that in all HIS timing is perfect and yet again, I am CHOSEN by the one that matters most.
These are also the weeks, to get my mind in the right place, that I constantly pray for my future husband and truly ask the Lord to grow us where we are now to be the perfect husband and wife for each other when that time comes. That he would prepare me to serve and love my husband more than I could ever imagine and vice versa. That we would truly be each others perfect compliment. Praying is the only thing I can do because who knows the Lord's time table?! Not me. Who knows, it could be one week from now or 11 years from now. All I can do is pray, and pray, and pray. That HE would be preparing our hearts.
Until then, all I know is the Lord has me to himself and He loves that! It is a time in my life where I can fall head over heals in love with Jesus, because frankly, I have nothing else to fall head over heals in love with. And I'm sure once I get married, I'll have to remind myself even more that HE is truly the only thing that satisfies and HE was still the first to CHOOSE me.
"Then he said: 'The God of our fathers has chosen you to know his will and to see the Righteous One and to hear words from his mouth. You will be his witness to all men of what you have seen and heard." Acts 22:14-15
"He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD." Proverbs 18:22
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Phillipians 4:11-13
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16 comments:
Oh Lindsee,
I am sorry you are struggling. BUT I am convinced that you are solid in God's word and leaning on HIM. You know that He is faithful and completely trustworthy. I am praying for you.
Love,
Dana
HE has chosen you and he has BIG plans for you that are clearly already unfolding. HE delights in your faithfulness to HIM! :)
Keep praying for that man out there who is going to sweep you off your feet because HE was chosen for you by your God!
Oh sweet Linds I feel your pain
Although I have been married almost 10 yrs I remember those feelings like it was yesterday
Your perspective is right on and God has chosen you a wonderful godly husband - God is just getting him ready for you
Rest in Him
Plus the funny thing is us married people sometimes long to be single again - LOL
If only for the peace and quiet - hehe
Love ya
Kim
I'm with ya, girl!
Thank you so much Lindsee.
I really needed to hear this as well. Thank you!
I think I know, and I love you! You were indeed chosen by the God of the universe! One day, sooner than later, I'm sure, the RIGHT guy, whomever he may be, will come along and he WILL choose you! Just keep you head up and know how truly beautiful you are- inside and out! I love you and you can do better anyway...you know that, silly!
I love your attitude Lindsee! I was in your same shoes for several years. Now looking back, I wouldn't have had it any other way. There were great blessings in waiting until I was 27 to get married and even greater blessings in being the last of my friends to walk down the aisle.
Spencer and I always say that if we had met each other even 6 months earlier than we did, there is no way we would have been married. We both saw how God was using every second of our singleness to prepare ourselves for each other!
God's ways are always perfect and even when we aren't sure of what He is doing at the time, looking back you will see His hand all over it! Hang in there.
Wow. Lindsee, this post was so strong, you have a great way with words. It's true that even when you marry, you really need to keep reminding yourself to keep being in love with the Lord. Sometimes, I really struggle with that, so thanks for reminding me today.
Nat x
I remember looking out the dorm window when I went to Seminary and watching others go on dates every Friday and Saturday night. No one ever asked me on a date one time while I was at Seminary and there were 3,000 guys there, literally and just about 200 hundred women. I would go into my prayer closet and beg God for a date. Never happened. I was a brand new Christian and my beautiful God wanted me. I had just come from a life where I dated all the time! Looking back, I see why He scripted my life so. But, it was a lonely time and I entered it and found my beautiful God. And I am so moved when I hear you speak that you have waited for your God to act. Isa 64:4. I love your heart for HIM that speaks such faith, such courage. And where that fails you, may He rise up in you and show you your heart. Your King is enthralled with your beauty---Psalm 45:11. I just this minute changed the header on my blog to that verse and it's for you, in honor of you, precious girl, who so honors your King! I just put your name in my Bible by that verse and I'll pray it for you that you know in the depths of your heart!
You are a rare gem.. Your husband is going to be on truly blessed man! It is a beautiful thing that you are so pure...God will honor you Linds!
:)
ps - I just ran on the river, well I jogged and walked and prayed. And, I thought about this post and wanted to come back to say that I am holding you in my heart. I haven't had any good friends here in two years since we needed to leave the church where we were for 27 years---people we loved so dearly. I do have a husband who loves me dearly but I do have a place in my heart that has not been filled and it is really lonely. Just wanted to say that I'm with you praying for you to find rest and lay your head on that empty chair. He's there for you. And how beautiful that you are a kept person. No answers over here---but I do know HE is inviting you to come closer. Love you Linds! Love your humble authentic heart! Bev
Oh sweet Lindsee,
I so wish I would have been where you are when I was your age... Even though you will go through ups and downs with your feelings over this situation, you will come out on top because of your love for our Lord.
Blessings as your continue to seek the Lord...
Thank you for sharing this heartfelt post! It's so nice that you opened up so we in Blogville know how to pray. You inspire me to lean more on God for my struggles. You are in the perfect place, resting in His grace. Thank you for being such a great witness and example to all of us.
Dearest Lindsee,
First of all, remember the King is enthralled with your beauty.(I just read it in my Cover to Cover readings of the Bible chronologically). You are absolutely gorgeous! I don't have to tell you that, I just wanted you to know! I have to figure out how to set you up with my son. I would be SO happy to have him meet you for real!! You are every mother's dream of the perfect wife! Keep being patient. You are so right on as far as being content and know that His timing is best! My daughter could have written your post! You are not alone. Okay, I'll stop now, but I'll keep you in my prayers!
So much love,
Angie xoxo
Sweet pumpkin, I know I'm late to the game on this, but I just wanted to echo the other sentiments on here! Clearly you've been chosen to do some amazing things right now! One thing that I constantly have to remember is that you can pray and plead and ask all you want, but He's in control, and He will decide when to bring you and your future man together! I know it's frustrating, but keep praying. Also? This might sound counter-intuitive, but quit thinking about him. He'll sneak up on you before you know it :)
I am so way behind on my blog reading! So please forgive the late post. I wanted to just cheer you on. As many have indicated here, it will happen for you, probably when you least expect it. I remember thinking the same things. All my friends in college were dating--some making wedding plans. And then there was me. I kept wondering what was wrong with me. Here's the truth--nothing was wrong. God was just holding the right man for me. When the timing was right (and boy, could I right volumes on this) my hubby came into my life and things have never been the same since. We've been married 25+ year and God has really MOVED in our lives BIG TIME over years.
Hold on Lindsee. He's out there. In the meantime, I'm going to keep you in prayer. . . and work on my match making skills (I'm really good at it!!). Just wish you lived closer to me.
On a different note, are you going to the Siesta Fiesta in August?? If so, I want to make sure I get to meet you.
Much love,
~Cheryl
St. Louis
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