Clothes Don't Buy Happiness

When I hear the word happiness, my musical brain kicks in and I automatically start singing, "Happiness is two kinds of ice cream, knowing a secret, climbing a tree..." from the musical Broadway show, You're a Good Man Charlie Brown. However, I typically insert my own lyrics and sing the song to myself. Or to whoever will listen. It might go something like this, "Happiness is a J.Crew outfit, the Galleria, buying some shoes...", that is, of course, if I were at the Galleria. Sometimes happiness is just a Thin Mint Girl Scout cookie right out of the freezer. But you get the point.

The truth is, I love shopping.

I grew up shopping.

It's what my mom and I did together. All. The. Time.

Unlike some other folks, I don't think shopping is evil. I don't think it's wrong to shop and spend some money every now and then on some new clothes. But when you find yourself desiring to shop more than you should, or just getting a shirt here or there, maybe once a week, it can become a stumbling block. Maybe not to you, but it does to me.

I've never participated in Lent. I have certainly considered it year after year, but never came to a stark conviction of any one thing I should give up. This year, however, I knew right away. There was no question. I struggled with voicing my thoughts, because the minute I voice them to one person is the minute I'm held accountable. Eek. I toyed with the idea of giving up facebook or twitter, but those didn't hit me near as hard as giving up shopping.

Shopping? Give up shopping? It was then that I knew I had no option. If not, I was certain I'd be living with guilt and out of disobedience for the next 40 days.

It has been eight days and can I just say, although it's more than doable, it's so tough!

Most of Houston is currently on Spring Break and I took a few days off as well. The week has flown by and been so great, but it's days like today that I was reminded how often I would have a bit of free time here or there and take myself to the nearest Target, TJ Maxx, or Ross. I'm purposefully leaving out the Outlet Mall I live dangerously close to. I never needed anything new, I just wanted something new because it was fun. And let's be honest, instantly satisfying.

But if you're like me, you wear your new thing once or twice, and you're already ready for something new. Am I speaking the truth to anybody but myself? The harsh truth is, I have a closet filled with clothes and shoes and belts, oh my! There is not one thing I am currently in need of. Zip. Nada. Zilch. But I want that instant satisfaction and gratification. I want that, oh, that's so cute, where did you buy it?

I love clothes, a little too much.

Once Easter comes and goes, I really don't want to pick back up my old habit. Sure, I'll shop, but not because I'm bored of just have the urge. Where I'm finding satisfaction in my materialism, I'm not finding it in Jesus. Jesus must be my satisfaction. And if I let him, he can be. How many times has my heart cry been that people see Jesus in me? Countless. But I'm not sure I've let them past my cute cuffed jeans.

Today I had to return something for my triathlon to TJ Maxx. (For the record, I am buying stuff for that, but only because I didn't have it before I gave up shopping. I'll have you know, though, that spandex brings little to no satisfaction.) I was so tempted to walk around and just look. I didn't. When I left the store without doing what I was tempted to do, I felt a small victory. Yesterday my roomies went to the Galleria for fun. I was so tempted to forego my rodeo plans so I could go with them. I didn't. Again, small victory. Of course, I can't avoid my favorite places for the next 40 days, but I can choose not to put myself in that situation when my desire for a new top is greater than my desire to know Jesus.

I really don't want to sound like I'm tooting my own horn, I'm sharing my own heart in hopes that maybe someone is with me. Or maybe not.

The new Passion CD has been on repeat both in my car and on my computer since I bought it last week. It's life to my soul. I seriously enjoy every single song. In two words, I'm obsessed. Since last Wednesday the song, Lord, I need You, has the highest play count. The words at the bridge of the song are perfect:

So teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus You're my hope and stay

When temptation comes my way, I'll choose to fall on Him. When Mossimo is screaming my name, I'll choose Him. If I believe that Jesus is better, I want to live like He is better. I'm figuring out that's really hard.

It may sound silly, but I'm committed. I love shopping, but it needs to take a back seat.

If I'm a good girl, I might just treat myself with a new Easter outfit. But I am making no promises to myself.

Did you give up anything this year for Lent? Shopping? Someone tell me I'm not alone!