A New Journey

Up until yesterday a lot of big things were happening in my little world that I didn't have the freedom to discuss on the world wide web. Now that I've had 24 hours to process the beginning of the end, I am excited to share a God-sized story with you and a new journey the Lord is taking me on.

About eight months ago, the Lord really started to stir in my heart. I wasn’t sure what this stirring was about, and although I was happy where I was, my heart was more so discontent. I know discontentment seems to be a more negative term, but I think it was a healthy discontentment. I started praying through this stirring and time and time again I kept hearing the Lord telling me to be faithful and serve where I was currently planted. In my desire to be obedient to the Lord, I did just that.

After a few months the Lord started stirring not just in my heart, but in different circumstances and situations around me.

It was in May when I finally realized that the stirring all along had been the Lord himself preparing my heart for a change in the very near future. Again, I didn’t know exactly what this change would look like, but I trusted the Lord's leadership and provision and I also trusted the leadership of those I was serving under. I trusted God in them.

Let me say right now that not for one minute was I ever looking for a way out of where I was serving, nor was I pursuing any other direction in ministry. I love my church dearly. I love the people I serve with. I love the girls I serve. In fact, the thought of leaving or serving elsewhere was slightly scary to me.

At the beginning of June the Lord opened up a door for me to potentially serve elsewhere and so I immediately began praying through that. I knew that at that moment I didn’t have a “go” or a “yes” from God, and although I was really excited, I still just prayed that if that was where the Lord was leading, that He would make it very clear on both ends. It was still very much my desire to be where He wanted me and I believed Him to work out the details if in fact I was to serve elsewhere.

Mind you, this was all going on while I was traveling all summer long and home typically one week at a time, if that. It was stressful.

This summer, although not much different from the past three summers, has been physically, mentally and spiritually exhausting. However, it has also been one of the sweetest summers in terms of relationships and trusting the Lord rather than leaning on my own understanding of all that was whirling about around me.

One week in particular this summer the Lord spoke a very specific word to me that nearly knocked me over. It was during my mission trip to NYC. One evening, after a full day of prayer, we had the privilege of attending the prayer service at Brooklyn Tabernacle. It was by far the most powerful prayer service, if not just service, I've ever attended. The Lord is undoubtedly moving among that church and to be a part just for one night was incredible.

That night the worship leader, unplanned, decided to share a simple song he grew up singing with us and then asked us to join in. I still remember it perfectly. There where three lines to the entire song and they said, "I don't mind waiting, I don't mind waiting, I don't mind waiting on the Lord."

My middle name could be waiting (for multiple things) so this simple song was especially meaningful to me.

After singing it over and over multiple times so our hearts could really grasp what our mouths were singing, Pastor Jim Cymballa got up to give an encouraging word to those of us that found ourselves in the middle of waiting for something. First situation out of his mouth? Job situations. I realize I'm not the only one currently dealing with a job situation, or lackthereof, but that was certainly what I had been wrestling with at the time. All I wanted was answers but the Lord was telling me to wait. Even if it just meant waiting two or three more weeks, He wanted me to wait. To wait patiently and to wait in faith.

I was floored and so thankful that the Lord had just spoken such a specific word to me. I knew the Lord was in control and hadn't left me high and dry. I needed to know His presence and assurance more than a confirmation at that moment. We all know waiting is much easier said than done. I had such peace after that.

My blog has been eerily quiet all summer for multiple reasons, one being that I just haven’t had time, but the other being that when I was home, I was spending a lot of quality time with my personal journal processing all that was going on. When you don’t have the freedom to talk about a big transition on the world wide web, things tend to get a little quiet.

However, I can also say that this journey of trusting has increased my faith dramatically and I’ve truly never had to trust or cling to the Lord more. He was my one constant. He knew the outcome and I was banking on that.

So I kept seeking and praying.

(Part two coming soon.)