The Hardest Thing?

Tonight at Bible study, Greg, my former youth pastor turned missions pastor, presented a question to each of us.

What is the hardest thing God could ask you to do?

It took me about 2.5 seconds to formulate and write down my answer. I knew immediately, because it’s something I think about often. It’s something I truly wonder if I could give God a resounding “Yes!” to.

My honest answer?

Serve God single for the rest of my life.

Yes, to me, that is the hardest thing God could ask me to do.

I know that my singleness is a complete blessing. I actually enjoy it. I really do. There are so many reasons I love being single. But I never want the things I love about my singleness to trump a potentially wonderful relationship that could bring God greater glory.

Please tell me you were as into John & Kate Plus 8 as I was? I mean, who didn't love little Aiden in his precious glasses? Of course, if you were as into it as me, then you watched their marriage plummet as quickly as I did. I was clearly sad when all of that went down because of so many reasons, and I'm not going to point the blame at anyone since I only know what the media will tell me, but I was sick when John, in one interview, was blaming his recent behavior on the fact that he just didn't get enough alone time, or time to be free, before he got married.

Seriously? Since when were we entitled to season to do what we wanted before we were given the responsibility to raise a family?

You see, we live in a culture where singleness is sacred.

People live and thrive in their singleness and think I’m the weirdo for living in the suburbs of Houston when I could be living the life downtown in the fourth largest city in America.

In my mind, however, I am living the life. I love my job. I love my friends. I love my family. I laugh a lot at the people I’m around. I love the free time I get. I love having very minimal responsibility and so on and so forth. There are many times I think, I am so glad I'm single right now.

But, I can see how singleness can become a trap that people don’t want to quickly pull away from.

I think, if not guarded and used correctly, singleness can become a very selfish thing.

I realize that Paul considers singleness a blessing and that it is a time of undivided devotion to the Lord. Undivided devotion. Without a lot of distractions. But, are we using it for that? Or are we just using it as a time to be lazy? To be selfish? To let the things of this world have our full attention before we really feel like we're ready to raise a family? Have we forgotten that God also told us to be fruitful and multiply? As much as God blesses singleness, He also gives His full blessing to raising families! No matter how your children may come to you, He is so for godly parents training children in the way they should go. Raising up generations to serve Him.

I am so grateful for Matt Chandler (among many other godly men), who encourage the single guys to be in search of a wife. Unless they think they’ve been called to celibacy, it’s biblical. I know so many truly amazing single girls and the one thing I keep asking are, where are all the men?

Of course, I do have a choice in how available I make myself, and if I'll choose to embrace a relationship that could potentially leave me heart broken or hide from love, but that's another post for another day.

I don’t think the Lord is calling me to serve Him single for the rest of my life. I believe He is the one who placed this desire inside of me to be a wife and mother, and I’m believing Him for that. What I guess I fear the most is how long, Lord?

If I have one desire in my future marriage, it is that we would serve the Lord better together than apart. That truly God would get greater glory from our marriage, than he would from our singleness.

If my singleness, for such a time as this, is giving Him greatest glory, then so be it. That may be a hard statement for me to make, but it's heartbeat. But oh, that I would live in purposeful singleness.

I’m convinced that Satan often uses our greatest desires against us. I can almost guarantee God’s placed this desire in my heart because it’s the one desire that Satan tries to use against me. It’s where he really loves to fling his lies at. Thankfully, I’ve learned to pin point those lies and throw truth back in his face, which is incredibly freeing. That alone has been reassurance that the Lord has not called me to a life of singleness. But rest assured, it’s still a scary thought.

Even though I desire for my life to be used for His greatest glory, giving a fist pump "Yes!" to a life of singleness? Well, he’d really have to change my heart on that one.

What’s the hardest thing God could ask you to do? I know that's an honestly hard question, but I want you to be brutally honest with yourself. And feel free to share it with us.