Tired in the Waiting

“Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.” Romans 8:26-28

Just being completely honest here, sometimes I get tired and weary in the waiting. So much so that I feel like I’m praying the same prayer, and then I don’t know what to pray, so I stop. It’s irritating to me that I do that, but I do. However, when I ran across this verse I was so encouraged. The truth is, even though I can get so tired in this season of waiting, He is praying on my behalf. When I don’t know what to pray, He does. He does know me better than I know myself. How can I not trust Him?

I know I’m not the only one in a season of waiting. Not at all. But if you find yourself in one, be encouraged by this scripture as well. He knows we’re tired. He knows we’re weary. He knows it’s lonely. He knows it’s not easy. But He does promise that He does work out every detail in our lives for good. Amen!

Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving happens to be one of my favorite holidays. I’m not sure why, it just is. Don’t get me wrong, Christmas is right up there in the ranking, but I just love that Thanksgiving is all about giving thanks. During Christmas I feel like we get so wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of everything that it’s harder to slow down and enjoy. Maybe I really like thanksgiving because it starts all things holidays, who knows, I just love it.

This year I am especially excited about the holiday because last year, if you remember, I went on a mission trip to Mexico during Thanksgiving. It was a neat experience and a blast, but I so missed my sweet family. I knew they were probably all laughing their heads off together and I couldn’t bear to miss that again. So needless to say, come Thursday I’m expecting some unending laughter and a relaxing time with my fun family and some of our favorite friends, the Snow’s. (Yes, that is indeed their last name. It’s “Snows” everywhere they go. Ha! I’m lame like that today.)

So, because I so love this holiday, I am going to list some things that I am especially thankful for this year.

1) I am thankful that I have a super fun family. No joke, folks. We crack ourselves up. When the 5 of us get together you just never know what might happen! I think since we’ve all grown up and become (somewhat) adults, we are able to enjoy each other more. I also think we can take into account that all of us live in different places so when we do get together it’s sweet because it’s few and far between. We don’t annoy each other as much like we did when we all lived together. Ha! Is that bad to say? Either way, I am thankful I have a family that is just as witty and crazy as I am. Our future spouses must all be as crazy and fun or we might scare them away.

2) Need I even tell you that I’m thankful for my job? I’m thankful for many reasons. First off, in this economy I’m grateful that I’m still employed. Not everyone has been so blessed and lucky. Secondly, do I really get to do this and get paid? At the retreat as I stood up to end the weekend I was so choked up. I truly can’t believe the Lord would use a girl like me, who could have cared less about God up until I was 18, to serve these girls. It floors me. I’m so not qualified, but He has qualified me and given me everything I need to do this job. It blesses my stinking heart. I love nothing more than watching these girls transform their hearts, minds and souls to love Jesus more.

3) I’m extremely thankful for sanctification. Even though it’s hard, I love that the Lord is in the process of making me more like Him. Most times I’d rather just stay where I am comfortable and not grow in any way shape, or form, but He doesn’t want to leave me like I am. I am thankful that He uses certain circumstances and times to make me more like Him, love Him greater and serve Him alone.

4) I can say this with a genuine heart, I am thankful for my singleness. Yes, at times I would love to kick it to the curb. At times I’m flat tired of “waiting.” But I am thankful for it. I don’t ever want to look back on this season and wish I would have done something different. There is a reason for this season and I don’t want to miss it. One truth is that I get to do things I otherwise wouldn’t be able to do. Like, say invest so much time into some of the great high school girls alive. Or travel all over the US of A to see my BFF’s. Or press into the Lord during times of intense loneliness that I know will not be cured with a husband. I’ve said it time and time again, but with 24 years of straight singleness and no date, I have to believe that the Lord is up to something greater than I can fathom or imagine. He’s protected me for reasons I may never understand. And for that, I have to be thankful.

5) I'm thankful for my friends. Old and new. There has never been a shortage of them and I don't want to take any of them for granted. The Lord knew who I would need in my life as encourager's and He has never failed to place the exact friends I would need during exact seasons in my life. I love them to pieces.

5) As petty as this is, I am thankful for my iphone. For thinking that it was the silliest thing ever invented, I sure put a sock in my mouth. That little device is too much fun!

6) I am thankful for Blogger and Facebook. How fun to be connected with so many people all over God's green earth. And I do mean that seriously! I know it can get in the way of so many things if not used in moderation, but it is so much fun and to communicate, encourage and see what all my peeps are up to is something I'm truly thankful for. Especially those that don't live anywhere near me and I can't see on a consistent basis.

7) I'm thankful for two fun roommates and a place to live. The Lord's provision and timing is beyond perfect and we have such fun! It's going to be a fun year, folks.

8) Lastly (although I know there are plenty more), I'm thankful for bible study. Both Tuesday night bible study with thousands of other ladies, and Thursday night bible study with people my age and in the same season of life I'm in. Being in ministry at one church that is lacking a good, solid group of "singles" makes me more thankful for slowly getting involved at another one. It's not easy, and sometimes awkward and a bit intimidating, but those connections are so needed.

I hope Thanksgiving day is a day of rest, relaxation and a time of thankfulness for all of you. We serve a good God who has given us so much to be thankful for. I love Him for that!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Weekend O' Fun

This past weekend was full of fun moments. It was busy to say the least, but a blast indeed.

I'll begin with Friday night:

I love my church. Obviously I love it. I am employed by it. However, one thing we're lacking is a solid "Singles Group." Now, here me when I say that I terribly hate the term "singles group." It's just...awkward. Anyhow, we're missing those types of folks here, but just recently I have come across many girls who are looking for a place to belong after they've graduated. I mean, if we're honest here, that can be a very awkward time in life. You don't quite know where you belong. So, Friday night one of my friends asked if we could use our house for a "single ladies" get together and I gladly said yes. About 10 girls came over and we had the best time! We made pizzas and just chatted. It was refreshing getting to hang out with girls that are in the same season as I am in. A blessing indeed!

Saturday Morning:

Saturday I got up early, packed an overnight bag, got ready for the day and headed to College Station with the parentals. A&M and Baylor were playing each other and we had a fun tailgate planned for the families of the students that go to those schools from our church. We do it every year and it's always a great group of folks. This year unfortunately it was rainy, cold and humid which in return made for the worst hair day of 2009, but that's clearly beside the point. Who worries about hair when your surrounded by the people you love the most? Kidding. Maybe.

After standing in the glorious mist for 2 hours, my parents took me, my little brother and a few friends back to my little brother's apartment where we hung out until my roommate, Claire came to pick me up for a wedding shower I had that night for a dear friend who's getting married next month. I have seriously never been more grateful for my Chi straightener. I needed a miracle on my hair, and it provided one. Are you noticing a hair theme here?

Claire picked me up, dropped our stuff off at her in-laws house, had a tasty dinner at Ninfa's where we counseled our waiter on relationships, and then we headed to the shower. It was so fun, but after cuddling in the papason chair for about 15 minutes with Claire, my eyes were so tired I could barely keep them open. I was so exhausted from the days activities.

It didn't help when I thought about the fact that I had to be up extra early Sunday morning since I'd have to drive in from College Station to be at church on time. All was well, though. After the shower, we crashed. Only after a laughing attack in bed, of course.

Sunday was a nice day and I got to see my girls! Since the girls retreat was last weekend we didn't have small group, so I just needed to see their sweet faces since it'd been two weeks since I'd heard what was going on with life. I know it was only two weeks, but boy oh boy do I cherish those girls. And folks, a lot can happen in two weeks in the life of a high school senior girl. It was a smaller group this week due to the Thanksgiving holidays, but sometimes those are the best. We chatted, and chatted and chatted some more. In all seriousness, as a small group leader, I could not ask for a better group. Don't even get me started on the fact that they'll be graduating in 6, I tell you 6 short months. It will be a tragedy indeed. I love them to pieces.

The fam, minus Brien!

Emily and Kelsey! Two sweet freshman (in high school) girls!

It was so past time to leave. We were so cold here. And wet. And please note the fallen, wavy hair. It got worse, folks. Way worse.
I hope your weekend was just as pleasant! Happy Thanksgiving week!

Behind The Scenes & A Little Revelation

This semester Beth Moore has been going through Revelation during our Tuesday night Bible Study. It has been riveting to say the least. I know so many of you have been asking me how it was and most times I don’t have a reply for you because it’s just that hard to explain. But lucky for you, they are selling this series starting now on the Living Proof Website. If I were you, I’d get my hands on it pronto.

However, last night as we got started, I got to thinking about a few things. So many nights I just wish all of you could come join us at bible study. We always start out with praise and worship, and then get into our study. It is so neat to watch that thousands of ladies worship together even though we all come from different walks of life, seasons of life and generations. It’s truly something that can’t be explained and I know anyone that goes to Tuesday Night Bible Study would agree. What makes it so unique and neat is that it’s not something that just happens every few weeks or months, but that worship happens weekly. Weekly we gather together as fellow believers for one reason. To worship our Jesus. The Spirit is so welcomed there. As Beth said last night, I think God really likes Tuesday nights. And I so agree.

That’s just one part of it though.

The other part that you don’t see is the actual taping of the series.

I don’t know diddly squat about what goes on after a series is wrapped up, but I’m not going to pretend that it’s far more than I could probably imagine. Just the work that goes into taping it makes me want to sweat a little.

Everything and I do mean everything has to be set and ready to go in order for you to get a copy in your hands. You get the finished, polished product. You don’t actually see what goes on behind the scenes.

I may not see what goes on behind the scenes either, but I can guarantee you that during Tuesday night bible study, I have sat through many a taping and the minute one thing goes wrong, everything is put on hold.

Take for instance last night.

Sweet Beth had literally just said about 10 words when her microphone went all wonky. It was a doing a little echo sound which in return sounded like a little jig. Immediately she stopped talking and the crew went to work on fixing whatever issue was at hand.

For the time being, Beth was having a little conversation with the people in front that could hear her and the rest of us just sat waiting patiently. When they finally got her microphone working, we had to start over again. Thankfully, like I said, she’d only said about 10 words but we were all so tickled, as was she.

We had to begin again like nothing ever happened. Like everything was a-okay.

Of course just getting off of the retreat chaos, my mind immediately resorted to this past weekend because that is exactly what my retreat was about.

Behind the Scenes was the theme and we just talked about how all of us (myself included) go about doing our day to day things, making it look like everything is fine and dandy, when in reality, we have more going on behind that smile, outfit or joke than we ever care to admit to. We put on a façade that leaves us terribly empty and void of living a life to the full, yet everyone thinks we are just fine. And we like them to think that everything is just fine.

The retreat was amazing! Everything about it went so smoothly and the girls responded so well to the weekend.

Four girls accepted Christ which was just enough to send me over the edge. I was so overwhelmed watching those girls worship our Jesus. I want them to “get it” so bad. I want them to fall head over heels in love with our Jesus and my prayer is that they see that in my life. I want it to be contagious and genuine. No, I am not perfect and am so far from it, but I do love Him. And I love that He knows what He’s doing with my life.

My prayer for them the whole weekend was that there would be a paradigm shift in their thinking. That they would know that there is freedom and acceptance to be real with the Lord and with each other when everything is not going okay.

I don’t think its okay to raise up a generation and train them in thinking that they need to always have it together. Not, it’s not okay. Life is hard. We sin. We go through stinky situations. And the truth is, we can’t do it alone and we can’t ignore the fact that our life isn’t perfect.

So many of the girls, I think, got that this weekend. They are perfectly loved by God and since they are perfectly loved by Him, they have nothing to lose when it comes to being authentic and genuine in how they live their lives. I pray they got it. During the retreat I was overwhelmed to the point that I could have bawled. I cannot believe I get to do what I get to do. I can’t believe the Lord would let lil’ ole me serve these precious teenage girls. I don’t take it for granted one bit. He deserves and is so worthy of all of my praise. His grace is more than I can fathom.

So, in a few weeks when you get the new Revelation series on DVD, don’t think for one second that those sessions were recorded with no bumps. There is so much more going on behind the scenes than you’ll ever see. Fortunately, that’s how it goes in the process of making a DVD series.

Unfortunately, we like to let it fool us. That is not how it should go down in our real lives. We are so good at fooling people it’s scary. I’m afraid I fool myself sometimes!

If you prayed for the retreat, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. They were so heard, appreciated and answered. The Lord is so good and has overwhelmed me with His goodness. He knows what He’s doing, y’all. I can’t manipulate one thing, but I can certainly pray that I’m serving and encouraging a generation to live in front of the scenes instead of behind it. And I can strive to be one, imperfect example of that.

You never really know what is going on behind the scenes. Because things really aren't always what they seem.

“Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! Yes, what joy for those whose record the LORD has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty! When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the LORD.”And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.” Psalm 32:1-5

Free Them

Most of you know that while I was attending Sam Houston State, I was involved in a bible study there called Truth that was held at the church I attended there. Our teacher each week whom I came to love and adore and who can preach the word like no one else was Afshin Ziafat. His testimony is incredible and his love for the Lord is nothing but contagious. During college was when I really grew in my own faith, and not my parents and so much of it I thank Afshin for because he challenged me weekly.

Afshin is from Iran and for the past few months has started a movement called Free Them. It is for two girls, Maryam and Marzieh, to help get them out of prison in Iran for sharing their faith and the love of Christ.

It has been a long journey to say the least and Afshin has not given up hope for them.

Well, today I saw on the website that these two girls were released from prison today! Can we give him some praise, y'all? I think we so take for granted that here in America we can share our faith so freely with no condemnation. But the sad truth is, we rarely actually do it. But then these two girls do it in a country where it's illegal and get put in prison for it. I can only imagine how much they have suffered for Jesus Christ.

I just wanted to share this story with you. It makes me want to be more bold in sharing my own faith. Because boy oh boy do I not do it enough and to say that I take the freedom here for granted would be quite the understatement. So, join me in celebrating their release! Our God is good and does hear our cries!

Feel free to check out the story for yourself here!

Retreat Days

When I was in Phi Lamb, we used to have one retreat per semester. For a year I led them because I was chaplain. I ran across this picture trying to find something else and got tickled because this was the first year I was not in charge. (Of course this is from like 3 years ago.)Excited? I think so. Relieved? Definitely. Crazy? Right on the money. Just take a look at everyone else around me, they have no idea who they've gotten themselves involved with. Oh, the fun times. I love those girls and miss them constantly! Here's to hoping and praying that starting tomorrow I'll be able to stop and make the same pose in charge or not. Retreat, here I come.

Take It Or Leave It

If anybody ever wondered what my family was like, I'd direct them to this picture with no hesitation whatsoever. Take it or leave it, folks, we're just like that. Crazy. Lastly, not sure what happened to my crazy face, but apparently I was fixated on something else. That's not uncommon. I love them. I love us.

A List of Randoms

I don't have anything to even say to start this post out in some sort of creative way, so I'm just going to get to the list. Here goes.

1) I currently have 128 unread blogs in my google reader. Why do I do this to myself? Why? The awful part is, I'm a little OCD and it's hard for me to just go "Mark them all as read" and move on with life. No, I have to read every stinkin' one. When oh when will I find the time? It will be done. Maybe.

2) Clearly, I am behind on blog reading. So behind, in fact, that Jen had to tell me about the post she wrote about just yesterday where she mentioned that I played soccer as a wee one.

3) Yes, I played soccer. When I was 5. I was the goalie. It was a bad, bad situation. I was afraid of the ball. Need I say more?

3) Have y'all been watching The Biggest Loser? You know, my favorite show of all time? It's been so good and unfortunately, my favorite contestant, Abby, had to go home last week. She is a doll. I just love her to pieces and pray huge blessing on her life. If you need some inspiration and hope, just go read her story.

4) Part of the reason I have a ridiculous amount of unread blogs is because next weekend is my second girls retreat! Woo hoo! Can I get an AMEN?! I am so very excited about it. If you remember, last year sweet Shelly was my speaker and Abby was my worship leader. To say that we had a blast serving together is an understatement. I hope and pray that one day we get to do it again, but unfortunately, it won't be this year. However, I am just as excited about this years retreat. The theme is Behind the Scenes and is based off of Psalm 32:3. Needless to say, I am currently eating, breathing and sleeping everything girls retreat. It kind of feels like planning a wedding. Not that I've ever planned one, but still, you get the point. My dreams are consumed with it as well. You know, those dreams where you wake up and you're super glad it was a dream? Yes, that's how much I'm thinking about and planning this retreat. Your prayers are much appreciated and you'll definitely be hearing more about it!

5) This time change has me all whacked out. I feel tired earlier, which isn't an awful thing, but then the sun decides to go ahead and wake me up at 5:30 a.m. Maybe that's a little extreme, but I'm not sure how I feel about the time change business. I've always been iffy.

6) Shane & Shane came out with a new CD this past Tuesday and it is wonderful. I know I've mentioned them a time or ten on here, but I just adore them. Their music speaks to me like no other. "Everything is Different" is now on iTunes and at your local Lifeway, I am sure. With that said, you should buy it yourself. It is a little blessing wrapped in plastic. And no, they did not ask me to advertise for them, although I would any day.

7) This semester I've been going through Revelation with Beth Moore. Y'all, it has been intense and amazing all at the same time. I really don't even know how to blog about it, it's just too much! The neat thing is that most semesters, the ladies towards the end of the study start to fizzle out. Don't get me wrong, the sanctuary is always full to the brim, but the crowds die down. However, this semester the crowds have stayed strong. Even with the not-so-fun adventures in getting there and parking, it's so worth it. I would do it over and over. So, go ahead and add to your Christmas wish list the Beth Moore CD's or DVD's on Revelation. You will not be disappointed. And yet again to clarify, she did not ask me to advertise, but shockingly, I'd do it any day, along with Shane & Shane.

8) I know I have a lot more to say, but it's late and I'm pretty sure I just dozed off as I was typing this. That's a hint: GO TO BED!

9) But 8 is a weird number to end on. Like I said, I'm OCD.

10) Goodnight Moon.

On A Much Ligher Note...

Here is a little bit about me.

I know that yesterdays post was not the lightest and quite frankly, I didn't want it to be the first post people saw upon entering my blog for a long time, so I decided to fill out this little questionnaire. A few people have recently filled it out and all of them were fun for me to read, so I thought I'd join in on the funness.

1. What is your favorite thing to snack on while your blogging?

This would be hands down, Dove Milk Chocolates. I’m enjoying one right this very moment. They don’t get your hands all sticky and dirty when you’re typing. Plus, sometimes those inspirational sayings get me all inspired. Profound, I know. (Shout out to my 2:42 loves!)

My two most current inspirational sayings:

“Success is the sum of many small efforts.” “Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die tomorrow.”

If those words don’t change your life I don’t know what will.

2. What is one thing you don't want to live without?

Water. Not really for drinking, (although I do love drinking it) but more for bathing. I am OCD when it comes to shower cleanliness and after spending a week in Mexico with only one shower, I’ve come to the conclusion that I do not like living without water.

3. Beach, Mountains, or Farm? Where would you live if you had a choice?

This is a huge tossup between the mountains and the beach. I have to say though, that if you lived by a beach you could only really be able to enjoy it for so many months, whereas the mountains you can enjoy year round. So, I’ll go with the mountains.

4. What's your least favorite chore/household duty?

I’d have to go with laundry. I don’t mind putting it in the washer and dryer, it’s the getting-out-and-hanging-up-or-putting-away-before-wrinkling that I really loathe.

5. Who do people say you remind them of?

Not a fat clue. But one time my aunt told me I looked like Jennifer Garner. True or not, I’ll take it!
6. Prefer parties and socializing or staying home with the fam?

I love both. I’m such a people person and love, love socializing, but I also really enjoy some comfy couch time at home just relaxing.

7. What's your all time favorite movie?

This is super hard! I’m easily entertained so I enjoy a lot of movies, but I think I’ll have to go with Father of the Bride. It’s such a classic and without a doubt I cry every time as George (Steve Martin) is about to walk Annie (Kimberly Williams-Paisley) down the aisle. In his words, “This was the moment I'd been dreading for the past six months. Well, actually for the past 22 years.” Tear.

8. Do you sleep in your make-up or remove it like a good little girl every night?

I am a very, very good girl. I haven’t missed a night of washing my face since 7th grade. And I’m not even exaggerating or kidding. There are few (okay, maybe not “few”) things in life I’m anal about and this is one of them. Let’s face it, I didn’t go on Accutane two years ago to ruin my face now by not washing it. We’re not going down that road again!

9. Do you have a hidden talent or a deep desire to learn something that you've never had a chance to learn? What is it?

Maybe it’s my obsession with Biggest Loser? I don’t know, but I think it would be fun to be a Personal Trainer. That’s so weird, I know. But to make it non-weird, I also think it would be neat if I could dance really well. Or maybe even be a counselor? I honestly have no clue. There is a fog in my brain and at the moment it’s all I could come up with. So much of a fog that this was the last question I answered. I was that lost.

10. What's one strange thing you're really good at?

I don’t know if it’s strange, but I think I’m pretty good at planning events. I am a very detailed person so this really helps in the process. I’m also strangely good at making custom plates for people with my super neat handwriting. Or writing on anything for that matter. (Another thing I’m good at, I guess?) Speaking of those plates, I’ve totally fallen off that bandwagon for the time being. I’m just too busy to actually sit down and do them.

11. What first attracted you to your spouse?

This is not applicable to my life. But if I did have a spouse, I’d like to say it was his eyes and sense of humor. And if you want Godly, I guess how much he loves Jesus! Hey, a girl can dream can’t she? See #2 quote on question #1. Words to live by, folks. Words to live by.

12. What is something you love to smell?

I love the way Clorox bleach smells. It’s that super clean smell that gives you a sense of satisfaction. But I also love Laugh by Brighton. Hence why I wear it.

13. Tell something about you that you know irritates people.

Besides talking about my singleness…Ha!

No, I’m not the best about staying in touch with those who live far away. I would much rather see them face to face and enjoy their company, which makes talking on the phone super hard for me. I do it, but I’m not the best at it.

14. When you have extra money, what's the first thing you think to do with it?

Easy. I’m a girl. I love to shop.

15. Are you a silent laugher or a loud laugher? What makes you laugh the hardest?

Again, both. Most times I start out loud, with a super high pitch at the end, but if it continues to be funny, or I’m really tickled, I go into the silent, snorty (is that a word?), hard to breathe laugh. To say that laughing is my favorite hobby would be the biggest understatement of my life. I’ve been known to laugh a time or two during inappropriate situations. Like say funerals, or when a deaf man took my order at TGI Friday’s once, or when my BFF and I were singing at our other BFF’s wedding and during the middle of the song, the unity candle popped out of the holder and we were worthless. Thankfully we pulled it together, but really? Worst timing ever.

16. Where is your favorite place to shop?

Target. Forever 21. Ross. TJ Maxx. Gap. Macy’s.

17. What is one thing you would do more often if you had more time?

I would probably read and write more often. Although I’m not the best writer, I do thoroughly enjoy it.

18. Are you a big spender or frugal?

I am frugal for the mere fact that I never buy anything at full price. I am a super great bargain shopper thanks to my mom, however, I’ll spend a chunk of money, on non-full price items every few months.

19. Who is your favorite character of all time? (from a movie or a book, can't be real)

I’d have to say either Michael Hosea from Francine River’s Redeeming Love or Michael Vaughn from my all time favorite T.V. show Alias. Two completely different characters, yes, but I think the way they’re both passionate about what they do and fight for the people they love is why I love them so much. How ironic that they’re both Michael’s? I just realized that. Maybe it’s a sign. But it’s probably not.

20. Would you want to be famous?

I go back and forth. I think for a time it would be fun. Not super famous like Oprah, Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt or so on, but I think it would be fun to excel at something for enough people to notice where you get all the perks of being famous. What I would not like is the fact that I’d have no privacy and people constantly judging every cookie I put in my mouth or step I took. And I always wonder if famous people are really happy? I mean, where does their joy come from? The fact that people love them and are obsessed with them? I think that’s strange. So maybe it’d be fun for a day or two.

There you have it, folks. The randomness that is Lindsee Lou. It would be fun if you did this, too!

Practicing What I Preach

Last week was an odd ball kind of week. I've written this post in my head about a gazillion times, and have not been sure how to start it, so there you go.

I don't find it ironic at all that after I posted about Band Aids on Wednesday, I was basically handed an opportunity to practice what I was preaching.

To practice loving people where they are at, holding no judgment whatsoever, listening to what's really going on in someone’s life and just being there for them. In the good, bad, the ugly and very, very ugly.

You see, last week I heard the news that a friend from college, not just an acquaintance, but a dear friend was put in jail for making a very poor, poor choice. To say that I was shocked, horrified and sad for her all at once is a complete understatement. I was truly speechless. My mind was going every which way and I just sat there in amazement.

When I sat in bed that night, till 2 a.m. mind you, trying to take my thoughts captive but with little success, I wanted to think that what she did was something I would never do. That what happened was completely crazy. That I was clearly a better Christian because I've never, nor will I ever do such a thing.

However, it was the complete opposite. Instead of taking my thoughts captive, I put myself in her shoes.

In her jail cell shoes.

The truth is, the minute I think that is the minute I let pride have its way. By no means am I past any sin whatsoever. Without the grace of God who knows what sins I could/can commit. Without the grace of God, I would be a walking mess. This whole situation has done nothing but humble me.

To judge her would be judging her with human standards. Human standards are not God’s standards. We have to keep our focus on God, because we’ve all fallen terribly short of God’s standards.

To be completely honest, since the moment I heard of it, it's literally all I can think about. Like I said, in a time when taking my thoughts captive is of utmost importance, I am failing miserably. I just can't get it out of my mind. I'm so broken for her. What if that was me? How would I want people to react? What would I want people to do? How would I feel if my sin were broadcasted on the 10 o'clock news for all to see? Fortunately for me, it never has been, but unfortunately for her, that's exactly how I found out. Along with the rest of Houston.

During all my unfiltered thinking, few things have come to mind time and time again.

Lindsee, love her where she's at. Show it. Go visit her. Write her. Pray for her. Pray for her. Pray for her.

I don't think I've ever prayed more for a friend to know the forgiveness of Christ than I've prayed it for her. She is indeed a believer, but I need her to know it. To claim it. To believe it. I need her to know that she is dearly loved and that we will support her in all of this. I pray that all that nasty guilt and shame is taken away by the love of Christ. I've prayed that over her life constantly the past few days.

I've also been sick to my stomach the past few days. It's kept me up at night. Can you tell it's bothering me?

I'm truly just so humbled by the situation. I'm hurt. I'm disappointed, but at the same time, I have to practice what I preach and that is forgiveness and love and accepting people where they are at despite the awful circumstances.

It means that if I have to visit her in jail, even with a huge knot in my stomach and sweaty hands I'll do just that.

Not because I'm a good person at all, but because that's what God has called me to do.

I'm not good. The bible says I'm not good. I'm only good because of Christ in me. He makes me good.

And she needs to hear that.

I'm not better than her.

I'm not holier than her.

I love her and she needs to be shown the love of Jesus now more than ever. I strongly believe that.

Sometimes life is hard.

Join me in praying for her, will you? She is currently out on bail, but has a long road ahead of her.

Not with a spirit of condemnation, but a Spirit of forgiveness and freedom.

It would not be wasted on her whatsoever.

“So where does that put us? Do we Jews get a better break than the others? Not really. Basically, all of us, whether insiders or outsiders, start out in identical conditions, which is to say that we all start out as sinners. Scripture leaves no doubt about it: There's nobody living right, not even one, nobody who knows the score, nobody alert for God…in our time something new has been added. What Moses and the prophets witnessed to all those years has happened. The God-setting-things-right that we read about has become Jesus-setting-things-right for us. And not only for us, but for everyone who believes in him. For there is no difference between us and them in this. Since we've compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we're in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ.” Romans 3:9-24

“There is no one who does good, not even one.” Psalm 53:3

“And Jesus said to him, "Why do you call Me good? No one is good except God alone.” Luke 18:19