The Ring

Remember back in the day when we discussed thoroughly about my ring situation?

Remember how I told you that my Pastor and Boss, mind you, texted me to tell me to take the ring off?

Well, of course after that text I had to summon my blog peeps, and frankly, y’all did not disappoint.

Well, this is pitiful of me to say, but since then, I have thought long and hard about that stupid ring than I have ever cared to think about it.

It wasn’t so much that I kept wearing the ring, but I finally got down to the bottom of it and asked myself why I was wearing it? Was there a reason, or did I just enjoy it? I mean, if there wasn’t a reason, than why did I think about it so much?

The honest truth is, I have such a love for that ring (for no particular reason) and just enjoyed it on that hand, and that ring finger. It’s where it fit best.

However, the other day as I was watching something, a little birdie in my head just said, “Take it off!”

I was so confused and didn’t do as told, ignored the thought and went on with life.

Until that is, I heard it again. And people just flat kept telling me to take it off.

You see, after much searching, I have realized that one of the main reasons I keep it on is because of fear and safety. I know, how in the universe do those things go together?

Fear of, what if there is never a beautiful shiny diamond to replace it?

Fear of, what if someone did ask me on a date?

Fear of, what if people thought I was desperate by moving my ring?

Fear of, who would ask me on a date?

Fear of, what if that date was really awkward and we had nothing to talk about?

Fear of, what if I did go on a date, and he never called me back cause he didn’t like me?

Fear of, what if I never got married? (Yep, I said it!)

The safety part, you ask? The safety part is, I think unconsciously in my mind my ring has kept me safe from all of these fears.

I think the thought of any of those coming true scare me half to death. Honestly.

Part of the reason is because I have never experienced any of that and so I just don’t know what to expect. It’s a whole new ball game. And part of it is the fact that we all have the desire to be loved and accepted and the fear of rejection is gripping.

The other part of it is that, for my whole college career, except for the last year, I didn’t wear a ring on my ring finger. Nope. Not one. You know how many dates I got? Not one. Hence the reason I think this whole ring thing was silly. In college I was surrounded by guys, and clearly, the ring off didn’t determine if I got one date or not.

Since then I’ve worn a ring on that finger.

However, my pastor Dave said it best the other day when he said to me, “Lindsee, you can’t give boys credit. They’re stupid.” Meaning, they take one look at the ring and I’m off limits. I’m automatically taken.

My response to that has always been, if they want to know, they’ll get to know me better and know I was single.

Which leads me to my next issue, am I letting any guys get to know me? Would I give them the time of day?

Sadly, I think the answer to that question would be a big, fat, ugly, “No!”

I say “No” for fear of being vulnerable with somebody. Or really, someone of the opposite sex.

In a Q&A session between Christy Nockels (who is my forever favorite) and Beth Moore at a fun event called “Tell Me How” , some of the girls asked where we can find a man besides church. The answers were pretty funny, and then someone yelled out, “He’ll find you!” Yes, as much as that is true and we want someone to find us and pursue us, Beth said right back, “But, we want to stay findable!” Hilarious.

However, am I staying “findable?”

I know He is bigger than my ring, I know that without a shadow of a doubt, but I believe part of the reason my ring has been such a big issue is because I know I am safe with it on.

I already am not around many single men these days, and when I am, I have on that ring and who knows what they’re thinking? I’m honestly not giving them much of a chance.

So y’all, the ring is off. Yes, folks, it is. There you have it.

What’s so funny about all of this is one of my best friends, while hanging out today, gave me a booked titled, How to Get a Date Worth Keeping.

Normally I wouldn’t read a book like this, but as Dana was sitting at my table this afternoon reading snippets from it, I was very intrigued. It talks about fear and really just putting yourself out there and being “available.” I’m not saying I’m going to live by this book, but I think it will have some interesting points that I could definitely put into practice.

The tagline is, “Be Dating in Six Months or Your Money Back.” (Or for that money, my BFF’s money back since she got it for me! And, for those of you who think that is the meanest BFF ever to get that book for me, think again. I love her to pieces and she’s just heard really good things about it! She’s the kind of BFF that can do a thing like that!)

Also, before you go thinking that this is what I will consume myself with for the next “six months” rest assured, I will not.

I know that my relationship with Christ should take top priority over any other relationship in my life. He just want’s me to do my part, and of course, trust Him along the way. And that’s how it should be!

So, how’s that for a counseling session between me, myself and I? I do apologize if you think this is TMI, frankly, it is just my heart!

On that note, here’s to the next six months!