Clearly, I am one who loves talking to girls. Hello, it is my job! One of my favorite parts about my job is when we travel, whether it be out of state, or just to the other side of the city for dinner. (And yes, that would be traveling because Houston is HUGE!) The reason I love this is because inevitably a good conversation is always started. And I love me a good conversation!
At this point in my job, the conversation is normally started by the girls simply asking me questions. Anything and everything! I am totally okay with that and really I love answering their questions, and then asking the same questions right back to them! :)
After the normal everyday questions, I can always expect and am prepared for this question:
"So, do you have a boyfriend?"
And then immediately following that question, before I can even answer it they ask:
"How many boyfriends have you had?"
I love answering this question for a few reasons:
1) Because most of the reactions I get are absolutely priceless when I answer those questions "No!" and "None!"
2) I love sharing with them that even though the answers to those questions are an absolute "No!" I am OK.
It's in telling them "No!" that I can tell them that their worth is not found in a dating relationship, or boyfriend and nor should it ever be. Your worth is found in God. I mean, honestly and truly, there have been MANY a times when I wished my worth was found in guys. I thought it would validate who I was. That I was pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough and what not. And still to this day I struggle and wrestle with finding my worth solely in the Lord.
Every now and then the enemy likes to whisper to me "Lindsee, what is wrong with you? You're 23 and have never even been asked on a date!" That's when I have to trade the lies for truth. That the Lord calls me beautiful. (Psalm 45:11) That HIS thoughts are not my thoughts, nor my ways His ways. (Isaiah 55:8) That HE has a plan to give me a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) and that ultimately even though I may not understand His timing or ways, HE can do more than I can imagine. (Ephesians 3:20)
When I tell the girls "No!" to these questions, they always have the funniest responses. Truly they make me giggle.
Last summer when talking with group of girls one of the girls, who I guess was in complete shock, said, "Ugh, I thought you had had like 23!" Really, 23 boyfriends? I mean, I'm not saying it's impossible, but that's one for every year of my life!
Then, this past week in Mississippi when this conversation came up, we were actually talking about some of their high school fears. (They are about to be freshman!) One of them stated that she was afraid she would be the only girl left out and never have a boyfriend. I looked at her and smiled and told her that, indeed I was that girl, but I am still alive. Yes, it stunk hugely at times, and yes, I was lonely at times, but I made it. She was floored. Honestly! Her response:
"Well, they're just all scared of you!"
Then, she came back the next night and was just sure that I had had plenty of opportunity, but I had turned all of the offers down.
Sorry, sweet one. Not even one date opportunity! (Besides the annual homecoming dance and of course prom!)
She again had the funniest look on her face. I wish you could have seen it.
Another response I always love is:
"Have you ever liked a guy?"
Every time I am asked this I literally fall over laughing. Ladies and gentlemen, I am human. I have not only like a guy, I am pretty sure I have had MANY obsessions. Let's just get honest here.
After I tell them that I am indeed human and have liked more guys than I could ever count they always ask, "Well, did you tell them? Did you go after them?"
Once again, the answer is "No!" I am SO not that bold, plus, it isn't supposed to happen that way.
As Bethany Dillon puts it in her song For My Love "I want to be pursued..."
And I still do want to be pursued...
Well friends, if you made it to the end of this post. I applaud you. It is long and quite uneventful, but I love me some girl conversations and I love encouraging them.
No, I don't have it all figured out. And no, I haven't stopped wishing, hoping and praying for my man. I think about it everyday of my life.
It's just that in this time, I know the Lord has called me to encourage these sweet girls, and help them understand who they are in Christ! So I will do just that. And hopefully with much humility and joy!
Love you, friends!
Lindsee (Lou)
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10 comments:
You are so beautiful inside and out! OH the man God is preparing for your heart is going to be so lucky. If I was there I would give you such a big hug and tell you straight in your eyes how beautiful and wonderful you are to Him!
The Lord is doing some amazing things with you right now and each and everyone of those girls is so lucky to have you as someone to look up to in their spiritual life!
This is so timely, Lindsee. I just had this conversation with my 17 year old daughter. And interestingly she was saying the same thing you were--our identity should not be tied up in a guy. She's pretty wise for her age. She tries to explain it to her friends, but they all think they need boyfriends to be "validated." It so sad! I'm glad you're in girl's ministry. They need positive role models like you.
As for Mr. right. . well, he'll be there one day, all in God's timing. After all, it's amazing you haven't been pursued--you're drop dead gorgeous girl!! Just wait. God's got the perfect godly man just for you.
Much love,
~Cheryl
I am so glad that you are here to minister to the girls in our church. Even gladder that one of those girls is mine.:) Thanks Linds for being there for them and speaking truth in to their hearts!
I love you!
Dana
I am totally de-lurking to tell you, you sweet girl, that you are me umpteen years ago. I was the one who never could get a date in high school (but, somehow, the one everyone thought would be the first married with children?!?!). By the time I was 30, I had had one serious boyfriend ... one seriously DANGEROUS boyfriend. I had been so desperate to "belong" to someone that I let myself be USED by someone.
I immersed myself in church and in HIM, but still felt the desperate need to be a wife and mom. And I do mean desperate.
When I was 34 I came to a crossroads in my life. I had to make a choice - stay in my comfort zone or step out in faith. The church I attended and served in (as a youth leader for girls!!!) was in the midst of a split. And I knew that if I left, not only would I be leaving my "home", but I would, very likely, be going out alone. But I felt God leading me and had to decide if He was enough. If He and HE ALONE was enough. I chose Him.
And because I chose Him, a friend of mine (for TEN YEARS), impressed with my courage, called to talk. Because HE was feeling led to leave as well. On our quest for a new church we found ourselves at the same "new" place EVERY WEEK. And less than a year later we were married (a month and a half before my 35th b-day!!!).
All of this to say that if GOD is not enough, how can any man be? I see in your writing that you already know this. But just give yourself to Him. Tell Him that HE is enough and hold NOTHING back in your devotion to Him. You have to come to a place that even if he never send the "one", that HE is ONE enough for you.
Blessing and hugs you sweet, beautiful girl!!!
Becky Jo
(And, boy howdy, that is gonna be SOME MAN that He is preparing for you!!!)
Lindsee---you are AMAZING, seriously. You have SO much wisdom and whoever ends up with you is one very, very lucky man. I can't wait to see what is in store for your future. You are GORGEOUS, inside and out.
Love you!
You are amazing, and beautiful, and such a blessing to those who know you - especially with such a testimony. You are real. authentic, and your prince is coming. The good news is that you already are purely focused on your King! What a lesson you teaching your girls - in words, and actions. I love you.
nancy
I can't wait to meet you soon!!!!!
Love you, sweet sister!
Angie xoxo
I love how you put "first things first" as C.S.Lewis says and second things will be added to you. God is committed to your joy Lindsee!!!! HE is so committed to you. Can you believe SF is just weeks away and I get to meet you and hug your neck and probably spill a tear too! Were you at the simulcast?? Simply Beth raining down truth on all of us Deut 32:2.
You are beautiful and amazing and an abolute dream to the world. I think the rest of your story will all take our breath away and simply know that HE pulled it all off by Himself.
You are fabulous Lindsee Lou and I'll tell you to your face in SA! :)
Hugs,
Fran
Lindsee...I thought I had already left you a comment on this, but I guess I was just thinking about it. oops.
I was CRACKING up at this conversation bc that was ME several years ago. I recall many times of having my high school girls drill me in total confusion bc my answers were not at all what they were expecting. It was such a great time. Keep shining. Those girls are soaking it all in!!!
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