People Pleaser

I have always been AWFUL at saying "No!" to anyone and everything. People pleaser, yes I am.

I admit it. It's a struggle. And, more than ever it is coming out while teaching. You know how much I want those precious ones to "like" me? Oh, more than ever. I feel like I have to prove myself to them. I want them to love me. I want to be known as the best student teacher ever. In doing this, I feel like I have to be the nicest teacher ever. That's hard. Very hard.

In ALL my classes, the ONE thing that I know they have drilled into my mind is that first year teachers struggle most with classroom management. I could not agree more. We want their approval, so therefore, we are nice, in return having them walk all over us. Not good.

So, before I ever have my own classroom, I want to practice classroom management. Now, this is easy right now since my teacher has GOT IT. One of the best, by far. The children are trained, in routine, leaving the classroom climate very nice.

But, I am learning to put my foot down once and for all. In the past week I have pretty much taken over all the class responsibilities. I am stepping up to my title of "student teacher!" I do love it. So fun. I love that the day goes by so much quicker when I'm actually the teacher. But, the kiddos are starting to test me. Oh boy, it's fun. They want to know where I stand, and I'm gonna show them. I am in charge. Yes, ma'am I am. And they need to know that.

Since there are 2 of us in there at all times, sometimes I feel like a mom/dad couple. Do you remember when you were little and you would ask your mom something and she would say no, so you asked your dad. Dad might say yes because he doesn't know mom already said no. The child is sneaky. I did it. We all did it. What I love is that we thought we could get away with it. Oh, how naive we were.

Well today, this little boy (who is limited in his bathroom excursions because he goes WAY TOO MUCH, and no, it's not medical, he just plays) asked me to get a drink of water. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about letting kids get water when they need it. But, he's pulled this before. He had already used all his chances and just wanted to roam around. I told him NO. Go me. I felt a little mean, not gonna lie, but quickly got over it. At this point, I was the only teacher in the room. But, the minute my mentor walked in, he, without my knowing, asked her if he could get a drink. She complied and he went his merry way. I told her that I had said no. We both chuckled because he played us. And this wasn't the first time. Of course she said that if she would have known he already asked me, that she would have said no.

Even though I thought he might hate me forever for telling him no, I soon realized no, he doesn't hate me. Especially when he started scratching my back. They bounce back...so quickly.

I also learned to not give a child one chance. If I give he/she one chance, they will likely do it again, I'll give them ANOTHER chance, they'll do it again, and then I have to make them move a clip. (Behavior system talk.) There are no chances right now, they move a clip first time I speak to them. Wow. I am sounding so mean. But really? They love me just the same. Clip moved. No water. No bathroom. I know this to be true as I received a drawing today of some horses (why horses, I don't know!) that said "I love you!" I am loved. Mean or not. Thank you, Jesus.

And no worries, I am still praying about the people pleasing ordeal. It's OK to say no. It's healthy to say no. I am coming to grips with that. I know the only person I should be longing to please is my precious Jesus! And I so long to do that...

People pleaser signing off...(off to do the Breaking Free homework. I may get a kick in the butt!)