Do It Scared

I know that by now you know that LIT was by far one of my favorite Bible Study’s. It wasn’t so much of a Bible Study as it was learning how to study the Bible and for this season of my life, I was so grateful for it. I learned so much, and even now as I go back through my binder of notes and homework, I am blown away by all I didn’t know (and still don’t know) and am just intrigued by the study of God’s Word. It is so fascinating! (Not to mention that it was a more intimate setting compared to normal Tuesday night Bible Study, so we were able to ask questions and be more involved. That was probably one of my favorite aspects!)

Each week we were given homework and to say that I ate it up and loved it is an understatement. I could have used more. However, they didn’t want the amount of homework to scare anybody away from the class or to discourage them from not coming if they didn’t finish and I completely understand and appreciate that.

The last few weeks Beth and Melissa gave us a bonus assignment. Our bonus assignment was to take all that we had learned, and all the tools we’d been given to go and study a passage on our own. There were a few specifics to the assignment, but the last part was to simply turn it into them on our last night of bible study. I was so excited! I immediately started on it and absolutely loved the process. After turning it in the last night, I sort of felt like I was back in school and had just turned in a final assignment, except this time, it was much more fun and interesting.

They told us that they would read them over and then get back to us with their thoughts.

To be completely honest, once LIT was over it was the start of all things hectic for the holiday season, so my life went on and it was crazy, nonetheless. I kind of forgot about the fact that they were going to read our papers and get back to us. It wasn’t in the forefront of my mind.

Mexico, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years all came and went and I found myself settled and back at church on Sunday night. (I go to HFBC on Sunday evenings because it is the place where I get fed. I absolutely love it and don’t know what I’d do if they got rid of the evening services. It blesses me immensely!)

Anyway, that Sunday evening Curtis Jones was preaching and I was excited because the only setting I’d heard him prior to that particular Sunday was at LIT when he was teaching us about how to study the bible and not teaching on a passage from it. He was hilarious in LIT so I knew he’d be great that night!

I got to church and got all settled next to sweet Nancy (whom I love sitting with, by the way) and then Beth came to sit with Amanda since Curtis was only preaching the evening service. I didn’t plan on saying hi, because she was busy talking to other folks. Well, after she gave Nancy a hug she walked straight to me.

My heart started beating a little faster because I wasn’t sure what she was about to say, but what she did say still brings me much encouragement and joy.

She looked right at me and pointed straight to my face and said, “Lindsee, your paper was absolutely incredible. I am not kidding.” She said she’d told Melissa twice that she thought I had a gift of teaching. So then she said, “I think you have the gift of teaching, do you have any inkling of that? Have you ever thought about that?” Of course I just nodded my head and said “Thank you so much!” over and over again and then told her that yes, I had thought about that. She encouraged me a bit more to use that gift, that I’d be hearing from them that week, and then we hugged and church started.

I was completely stunned. And absolutely humbled that she would ever think such a thing about me. Lil’ ole Lindsee Lou.

Not because it was Beth Moore that had just spoken a word of encouragement over my life, but because she is a woman that I highly esteem, respect, admire, appreciate and love dearly. Her bible study, Living Beyond Yourself, was the first study I had ever finished in my entire life as a freshman in college, and I grew up in church.

After the first time I saw her teach, all I knew is that if she could love Jesus like that, then I could certainly love Jesus like that. That’s why I could never wait to do my homework because it was then that when I opened the Word on my own, my Spirit bared witness. It came alive in me.

Not only that, but because my favorite woman bible study teacher who barely knows me, who doesn’t know my background or the fact that not only was I an education major studying to clearly be a teacher, that I was chaplain for a year in my sorority, or that I work in Girls’ Ministry now and teach the Word was telling me that I had the gift of teaching.

Only God, folks. Only God.

To me, it confirmed something huge. One way you’ll know your gifts is when the body expresses to you what they see in you, and realize it’s a gift. Needless to say, Beth isn’t the only one that’s told me that, but being the Godly woman she is that I aspire to be, I sincerely took it to heart.

I’m not saying I am going to be some fabulous bible study teacher. Not at all. I honestly have no idea what the Lord has planned for me in the area of ministry, but I know that it is something I not only enjoy doing, but time and time again people have expressed their encouragement in this way.

That next week I did get a little something in the mail from LPM. They sent everyone a “diploma” for graduating from LIT. It was so creative and fun! Inside the diploma were two personal notes, one from sweet Beth, and one from Melissa, whom I came to adore. I read them over and over again, and truly, will forever cherish their words. It was the sweetest blessing to say the least.

They reminded me again of the gift, and that I’d been given the Spirit without limit so to go do the thing in Jesus’ name. And, that He’ll do whatever it takes to keep me humble. They were the sweetest notes and I think it touched my heart even greater because they kept their promise in “getting back to us about our homework” and words are my primary love language.

The honest truth, however, is that as encouraging as those words were, and whatnot, to say that teaching scares me out of my ever livin’ mind is an understatement. Yes, I love doing it, but I throw up a little in my mouth before every time I’m about to do it. I mean, let’s get real, folks. I’m no scholar. And for goodness sake, I haven’t even sat through one seminary class.

But, then I am reminded that this is a process. A journey. I may not have ever done those things yet, but last I checked, I’m still breathing and I have a heartbeat. Meaning, He’s not done with me yet.

Earlier as I was organizing my notes from The Inheritance study and putting them all in a binder so that I wouldn’t loose them all or crinkle them all up by keeping them in my bible, I caught a quick glimpse of a quote Beth had said that I’d written down one night, it was simple yet so profound. It said:

“Do it scared.”

Frankly, we have no excuse. Whatever He is calling us to, whatever gifts we’ve been given, whether we’re throwing up in our mouth a little, shaking at the knees, turning our necks all red, or sweating at the palms, He’s called us to do it scared.

He’s promised to work it out through us, and if we are walking in the Spirit, eventually, our knees will quit knocking and we might make an iota of sense.

If we’re not using our gifts, or being obedient to Him, we’re not exercising or operating in the power within us that is the Holy Spirit. A power that is far bigger and greater than our measly selves. And, needless to say we may be missing out on being a blessing to someone or better yet, we may miss out on our promised land all together. All because of fear. How sad! (And I say that to myself, because fear is my constant struggle.)

Whatever it is He has called you to do, don’t fight Him on it. Do it scared. Even though you’re afraid you might fail Him. I promise, He will never fail you.

In Melissa’s words, “He knows it’s scary to be us.” Amen.

The safest place to be is completely and whole heartedly dependent on the Holy Spirit. And that is right where I want to be. Teaching or not.

Do it scared, folks.

Frightened, afraid, shook up and excited all at once. But remember, HE is greater in you. And He who began a good work in you will complete it. To His Great Glory!