What I would have told myself 10 years ago...

Around here our high school girls are all buzzing about homecoming. I would say our guys are too, but honestly, it’s not so much of a guy thing. They go because they like to be with all the pretty girls. Since our school district has about 789 high schools, there is at least one, if not two every weekend from September to November. It’s crazy!

Even though it was ten years ago, I distinctly remember all the hustle and bustle during this time. It’s a lot like Christmas except instead of buying gifts; you’re shopping for the perfect dress, which leads to the stress of buying the perfect shoes and accessories, making hair appointments, reserving restaurants, finding a group to go with, ordering mums, corsages and boutonnieres and on and on and on. And on top of that, if your school is really spirited, the week leading up to the dance, you have different themed days in which you’re supposed to dress up like. It is a vortex that is not easily avoided.

You know what else is not easily avoidable? Being the girl that longs to be asked to the homecoming dance. It’s not really a big deal, but it kind of is. Are you pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down?

I know this very well. I was that girl.

I think what made it hard for me was not that I even really wanted a date that bad, honestly, unless you know your date really well, or have been dating for 3 years; it can make for a very awkward evening. Believe me, I know that well, too. What made it hard is that I was that girl that didn’t have a boyfriend. So essentially, I didn’t have an automatic date like the rest of my friends. I hate to sounds like a broken record, so please don't feel an ounce of sorry for me, I'm just stating the facts.

This presented some very awkward situations. I could either forgo homecoming, which no girl really wants to do, I could go in a group with my friends dateless, I could ask a guy friend to go with me, or I could be set up on a blind date.

Because I’m a girl and because I wanted to be desired, I chose to be set up one year, which was just weird and awkward the entire night, and went with a friend my senior year. My senior year was all together a much more enjoyable experience.

Ten years ago I wish I could have told myself that I’d be okay. That if I didn’t have a date to homecoming it really wasn’t the end of the world. That if a guy wasn’t pursuing me didn’t mean I wasn’t desirable. But I was fifteen, so I believed those things.

Let’s be honest, sometimes I still do believe those lies.

Thankfully, I’ve matured over the past ten years so I’m able to pin point when those lies come rearing their ugly head in my heart, but I’m still that girl.

I still long to be desired.

I still long to be pursued.

But my greatest desire now, which He’s changed from even two years ago, is that my life, desires, dreams, and longings He’s placed in my heart would bring God all the glory He deserves. After all, it’s about Him anyway.

This is why I’m still able to relate to the girls who don’t get asked to the homecoming dance.

Who don’t have a boyfriend.

Who are the only one in their group that feels they aren’t pretty enough to be loved.

I get it, I really do.

But you know what I also get? I get that God is not holding out on me. He never has and He never will. And you know what, He’s not holding out on you, either. I’m not sure what situation you’re facing, but lest you think He is, He really isn’t.

“For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.” Psalm 84:11

Can I get an Amen? Can I get some relief?

It is only when I compare my situations and circumstances to those around me that I start to believe He’s skipped over me, left me out of the picture. But when I align my desires with His and walk in a way that is right, I can guarantee that not only is he not holding out on me, but more than anything, He wants my attention. He wants me for Himself. And quite frankly, He has something better.

Ten years ago this is what I have told myself. This is what I’m currently telling my girls that are pretending to be okay with their situations, but wishing that just this once, they’d be that girl.

Ten years from now, God willing, I’m sure I’ll be telling myself the same thing about the my current battles and situations I continue to face.

But just know this, because it’s not in the character of God, He will never hold out on you.

After all, He placed those desires within us, did He not? No matter what, I know that He knows best. And I trust Him with that. I’m believing God for you and for me, ten years ago, today and ten years from now.

“Our present, our future, our past is in Your hands, we’re covered by Your blood, we’re covered by Your blood…”

Amen and amen.