It's A Blessing That I Don't Know What I'm Missing

Every single holiday or birthday that roles around I deal with a sense of excitement, but also with a sense of discouragement and sadness, if I'm being completely honest.

Excitement because I love a good holiday with all my sweet family and friends alike. And believe me, I've been blessed with some of the best! I'm naturally a happy, sanguine person, so those days just increase my annoyingly happy personality.

However, discouragement and sadness because a part of me longs so deeply to be spending that day with my husband-to-be.

It's that time in my life when most of my best friends are happily married and always endure the stresses of having to split their holidays between each family. Most people think I'm living up the single life with all of my other single friends, but the truth is, the single friends are few and far between. And those of my closest friends that are single, don't live in Houston. Part of that is due to the fact that my job has different demands not allowing for tons of "single" time, and part of that is just the fact that almost all of my friends are married. Not complaining, just stating the obvious facts.

However, there are those rare gut wrenching moments that I'd love to be the girl that has to split her time between two families. That would love to come home to my man waiting for me to cook him dinner. That would love flowers on Valentine's Day or for no reason at all. That would love to email him during the day on a whim to see how it's going. Or that would look forward to getting butterflies in my stomach upon seeing him.

I know I'm probably making it sound so much more romantic than it really is, but the blessing in all of this is that I don't know what I'm missing.

And honestly, I think that is the biggest blessing of all.

There are many days that I wish I knew what it was like to be asked on a date. To be pursued. To be cherished by one man. To get a sweet little gift on Valentine's Day or Christmas.

But at the same time, I'm grateful I don't know what it's like, even at the age of 24, because I truly don't know what I'm missing out on. I'm not one that can say, "I don't know what I've got till it's gone.", because nothing is gone.

I think that's such a sweet blessing from God, because when I'm not one to guard my heart all the time, or even the best at guarding my heart, He's guarding it for me in this way. I'm positive that if I knew what I was missing out on, I'd struggle even more with this season of singleness. Maybe the Lord knows that (I mean, of course He knows that) and maybe that's why I haven't been blessed with a man yet. He does know what my heart can and cannot handle.

Before each holiday, I've started praying (sometimes with tears) that the Lord would allow me to enjoy that day more than me dwelling on the fact that I'm without. And every Holiday, He has not disappointed. He will never fail me and most importantly, I know He hasn't forgotten me.

God's always been so sweet to send little blessings and reminders my way that He cares about my heart, more so than any other man ever will.

This Valentine's Weekend it came in the form of a fun Saturday with some sweet friends. Best friends and blogging friends. And a fun Sunday spent with some of my favorite senior girls watching a movie and the Olympics, with some tear-inducing laughter to go along with both.

It came in the form of Red Velvet cake all over my hands, a sweet little reminder that I got to show a little 5 year old how to make them, all while learning how to make them myself.

It came in the form of little Mollie Kate's smile. The little girl who made my day!

It came in the form of a fun morning with these girls and fun lunch with my BFF over Chinese food, of course.

And lastly, it came in the form of roses from my Dad and a hilarious card from my parents, and a card from my aunt.

Oh, how He loves us so.

And to this single girl, it's a blessing that I don't know what I'm missing. Because thankfully, I'm not missing the greatest Being that will ever love me.