My Dog, Chico

This afternoon after making some copies, I got back to my office to see I had 2 missed calls and a voicemail. One call was from someone I knew, and the other was from a number I didn’t have saved. I am always curious to see who it is, and am normally frustrated when the anonymous caller doesn’t leave a message. Well, today there was a message from said anonymous caller.

The message went exactly as follows: (I will use initials to keep some privacy!)

“Hi, Ms. G, this is K at Pet’s Mart and I was calling regarding Chico. Uh, we’re not going to be able to give him his bath today he keeps continually going to the bathroom and trying to bite. So if you could come back and pick him up as soon as you can, we’d appreciate it. Thank you!”

Immediately I started laughing, because first things first, I don’t own a dog.

Secondly, how sad that Chico is acting out so much he can’t even get a bath.

Thirdly, if that was my dog, I don’t know that I’d want to claim him. Who knows, he might start going to the bathroom and biting me.

I was so tickled and didn’t know what to do, but I knew that they clearly needed Ms. G to come pick up Chico and I didn’t want them waiting around forever. Obviously, Ms. G never got the message. She would have gone to Pet’s Mart to pick up her angel of a dog and been completely disappointed that they had not bathed him.

I wanted to save Chico, the owner, and Pet’s Mart some heartache.

So, I proceeded to call Pet’s Mart back. Of course, because I am by far the rudest person on the face of the earth, I started laughing when K answered the phone. It was so bad, y’all. It didn’t help that I had my 2 bosses on either side of me keeled over in laughter.

I mean, it’s not everyday you have to call Pet’s Mart back (when you don’t even own an animal) to tell them that Chico doesn’t belong to you.

I finally got my wits about me and explained to said Pet’s Mart worker that Chico was not mine and I wanted to make sure they got a hold of the rightful owner so that she would come pick up poor Chico. The lady was very confused, so I explained to her again, but this time just told her she had the wrong number. She became very worried because that was the number they had on file, so I had her read me the phone number. It was one number off from mine.

Problem solved.

She then proceeded to tell me again how bad Chico was acting and they needed him to leave. I felt so bad for him! Poor dog. I know the owner was probably getting her precious little pup all ready for the holidays, but unfortunately, the dog won’t cooperate so it will have to stay stinky for Christmas. And, it is probably missing out on a really cute bow.

A tragedy indeed, y’all.

I better go tend to my poor, pitiful, stinky puppy Chico that I apparently knew I never had.