And Let It Begin With Me...

I am so in love...

With Jesus.

I know that may sound so corny to some of you, but I don't think I have ever loved Him more than I do now, and I especially don't think I have ever WANTED Him more than I do now. Seriously. I want SO much of Him.

As you know, this week is the revival at our church. It has been amazing thus far. Afshin has done a great job of bringing such a great word, and such truth. I am always so encouraged/convicted/joyful when I leave that place. And really, it's not even Afshin, it's the Lord speaking through Him. (I need to remember that because so often I put people on pedestals and in all reality it's not even them, it's the Lord in them!)

Tonight got me, though. Every time before Afshin speaks, he has us all pray silently for ourselves. It is a time of silence so that we may clear our heads of all distractions and that we would just invite the Lord into our midst so that we would hear from Him. He asked us to pray tonight that the Lord would move in us tonight, and that we would let Him.

So, my first prayer is Lord, take away the pride. Then, after hearing BJ (the youth pastor) last night pray that it would "begin with him", I prayed tonight that it would "begin with ME!" I am always so ready to pray for someone else, that they might hear a word that night. But, so often I don't pray for myself because #1: I know that if I pray it, He will speak and I have to be obedient, which freaks me out and #2: I am always wanting other people to GET HIM.

But, I have to remember that if we want revival in the church, it has to start with ME and YOU. We can't wait around for people. I am not past the word spoken, I need to hear it just like everyone else. At some point I've gotta quit worrying about what everyone else thinks, and start worrying about my own spiritual walk, my own relationship with Him.

So, at the end of tonight, after Afshin spoke there was an invitation time. First, an invitation to accept Christ as your Savior if you never have, but then, another invitation for the christian to "step out" to "be bold" to "get right with Jesus", if you will. That's where I come in. I need Him. I want Him. I love Him.

So, while "I Surrender All" was playing, and as my heart pounded greatly in my chest, I stepped out. I had to give over the pride, just what I had prayed for minutes before. Y'all, I hope you know that taking my sweet lil' self to the alter is SO not me. You think I'm crazy, I know, but it's just not comfortable. I'm always worried about who will see me and what they will think of me. I mean, complete honesty here, I hate it. But, the Lord does not call me to be comfortable, but to be BOLD in his name. To be a Lilly among the thorns. I asked that he would do a work in ME tonight. And, if I truly want Him to do a work in me, I have to be WILLING for Him to do a work in me. And I am so willing for His sake. I want Him more now than ever.

It's just the beginning of a changing process. I "surrendered" all. I am His and am not my own. Tomorrow night is the last night and I am praying that the Lord moves. Not just in my life, but in sweet lil' Huntsville, Texas. Would you join me? I covet your prayers. May we ALL want more of HIM.

Oh, Lord, that you would have your way in ME and that I would NOT let PRIDE get in the stinkin' way. Let it begin with ME, Lord. I love you so!